Maggots are eating at my brain

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Schools the same everyday. I'm bored. I want something new to happen. I feel bad for spamming people with messages or calls now. I haven't really talked to anyone outside of school since. I've sent maybe three Tik toks and that's about it.

I'm exhausted and incredibly self conscious right now. I've been mean and I've been annoying.

The way people in my family act make me hate myself. I can't get away from it either. How would I even be able to. I look so much like my mom. It makes cry the more I think about it or the more people talk about it. Or when I get told I have a shitty family. I get it I've raised by shitty people but it makes me feel like I'm gonna become just like them.

I came home and cried. I went to my room cried, made dinner while crying, did the dishes while I was crying, took my dog out came back in and continued to cry.

I wanted to redo my room today. I didn't and I feel lazy for not. I ate Mac n cheese while watching tv and doing homework. That is as productive I have been.

I broke a plate and it made me want to scream. I was told to put my siblings to bed and they decided not to listen which made me cry.

Today sucks. Tomorrow I don't really know if I'm gonna talk to much. Everything is getting to me and I feel like I'm gonna do or say something stupid.

I've been like this for the last few days I just haven't talked to anyone about it because once again I feel like I'm annoying. And with stuff I heard today it makes me feel more annoying.

I'm really tired and I just want to go to bed.

I'm gonna take my dog out and go to bed. I want to talk to someone but I don't have anyone at the moment. So I'm just gonna probably sleep it off or cry about it some more then go to sleep.

I don't try to be mean or annoying but I guess it just comes off that way. So I feel like I need to start shutting up.

Just genuinely today fucking sucked.