Begin Again (Bucky Barnes)

9

Lily

As I look at a sleeping Ruby all snuggled up with her new blanket I can't help but smile.
Today was definitely not something I ever expected to happen and it's definitely been a rollercoaster of emotions.

From the pure heartbreak and fear of Ruby disappearing, to the rather heartwarming breakfast at the cafe I first met James.
I can't believe he remembered the place.

To the pure joy of seeing Ruby look so happy as we made our way round the zoo seeing the animals.

James caved at her puppy dog eyes in the gift shop, I'm pretty sure he would've brought her one of everything if I hadn't put my foot down.
Instead she got two cuddle toys of snow leopard and a penguin also the blanket she's snuggled up in.

It made me emotional seeing Ruby with James as I thought about how she's missing out of making these kind of memories with her own dad.
Maybe she's better off without that no good waste of space, but part of me still wishes he made more of an effort.

Touching my cheek where James just kissed before he left I can't help but feel butterflies in my stomach.
That simple kiss made me feel things I haven't felt in a long time and I wanted nothing more than to crash my lips against his.

Well actually let's be honest I wanted him to bend me over the kitchen counter and fuck me six ways to Sunday but that's just because I'm horny as fuck and it's been a while since I've had sex.

That sex club idea I had is sounding better and better.
I make a mental note to google that later.

I just can't understand why James is doing all this. As I look around my small apartment it's a reality check that we are worlds apart.

Omg he knows where I live.
Shit what was I thinking letting him come here!
I just couldn't think of a valid reason why he couldn't come back to my apartment with ruining the entire day.

He kept his face neutral so if he judged my dingy little apartment, because let's be honest he totally definitely did, then he hid it well on his facial expressions.
I mean who wouldn't judge this crap hole when he has a pristine clean and rather large penthouse that has stunning views over the city.

He doesn't live there permanently I suspect which makes me question what kind of place he actually owns.
Whatever he owns it's going to be a hell of lot nicer than this dump.

After he left I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking, will I see him again now he knows the truth of my poverty.

A rich man like that doesn't need to waste his time on a poor girl like me. He probably didn't even have anywhere to go tonight he probably just wanted to get out of here as quickly as possibly but didn't want to seem rude.

He was probably desperate to get back to his life of luxury and skinny model girls that would look far better on his arm than I do.

I was taken by surprise by how quickly Ruby seemed to taken by him, outside the cafe she grabbed his hand and not mine.
Could it have been the fact that he was buying her a cookie so that was probably what was motivating her.

She also had no problem snuggling up to him and falling asleep.
That sight alone made my heart skip a beat and my ovaries nearly exploded.

It also comes back to why her own father couldn't do simple things like that, he was always more than happy for me to carry her and the bags.
Well unless we were around his friends then he played the doting father and husband.

Looking at the time I see that I have a couple of hours before I'm due at the bar, so I set my alarm and decide to make the most of the unusual time off and have a nap.