Begin Again (Bucky Barnes)

21

Lily

I must of lost my mind when I said yes to me and Ruby moving in with James, but I couldn't say no after his words and the way he was looking at me.
It would've felt like I was kicking a puppy if I said no to him.

But thinking about me and Ruby living in a fancy apartment where we won't fit in makes my skin itchy.
The apartment is all clean cut, modern and super fancy looking, I'm not entirely sure he's thought about having a three year old living in his space.

Ruby was beyond excited that James is my boyfriend and that she will get her own room to decorate and couldn't stop talking about it whilst they dropped me off to work.

Now here I am stood in the bar barely able to focus on making the drinks as my mind is whirling a hundred miles an hour.
James's penthouse apartment has got to be worth millions and then he also has the penthouse at the hotel.

I'm going to look out of place in a neighbour hood like Greenwhich Village, is that why James brought me new clothes so he could mould me to his image just like John did then complain and leave me when I don't live up to expectations.

He will get bored of you pretty quickly. A voice in the back of my head whispers.

Deciding I need some space I text James asking if Ruby was okay and that I would crash at my apartment tonight because then he doesn't have to wake her. I'm also in desperate need to speak to Mrs Jones and just get all my thoughts and doubts out.

Hopefully she won't mind the early wake up call.

The shift goes quick and after getting the first couple of drinks wrong I finally get my head back in the game.
Closing the bar I grab my old coat since I couldn't bring myself to wear a new one to a place like this, I head into the winter night and let the coldness try and clear my head.

Feeling beyond tired by the time I slink up the stairs of my apartment building, I take a moment to take in the stark contrast between my life and James's.
Could we truly work for the long haul?
Walking towards my apartment I see something stuck on the door.

Eviction notice ... must be out by New Year

What the fuck! I quickly scan the notice and see the building is being shut down due to demolition.
Is this a sign that I made the right decision to move in with James because otherwise I would totally be freaking out right now.

Shit Mrs Jones.
Despite it being 2am I know she won't mind me waking her up so I knock on her door.

She answers after a few minutes slightly startled but I just hold up the notice.
"Come in dear" she says and I can hear the kettle already boiling "I was trying to wait till you got back because I knew you would freak out" she admits.

"I agreed to live with James and we told Ruby about us" I blurt out.
"Oh that's amazing news" she claps her hands together.

"How is it amazing, I haven't known him long yet for some reason I agreed to live with him! In his million dollar home where I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb" I'm pacing the floor.
"He just said really sweet words and was looking at me with puppy dog eyes like Ruby does and I just couldn't say no but how do me and Ruby truly fit into his lifestyle. He's already brought us clothes what if he's trying to change me like John did and then just like John dump me and throw me out when he realises I'm trash" all my fears come flooding out of me.

"But now I guess I have no choice to live with him because I can't afford a new place I can barely afford this one, and now I'm worried about you as well"

Mrs Jones grabs my arms and forces me to stop pacing.
"You're giving me whiplash" she laughs.
"Okay let's take a moment to breathe and I will make us a tea and we can sit down and talk this through" she guides me to her tiny sofa.