to live for the hope of it all.

Chapter 1

"For the hope of it all.
For the hope of it all.
For the hope of it all."

Beckett

I've lived next door to Bailey Connors since I was 7 years old.

She's always existed to me.

In 2nd grade, my cousin Caleb and I were playing soccer and he kicked the ball over the fence into her yard. She brought it back with a shy smile.

Later that year, our class decorated cookies at the Christmas party. She decorated a purple candy cane cookie and set it on my desk before walking back to her seat. Her grandpa bought her a piano for Christmas that year, and she practiced it almost everyday. I know because I did my multiplication practice on the front porch so I could listen to her play for hours.

In the 5th grade, I found out my mom was pregnant with my little sister, and I had to switch into the bedroom upstairs. It took me two weeks to realize that my window is right across from hers. Our desks face each other, and I was extra motivated to do my homework that year.

Mom's boyfriend didn't stick around after he heard the news of her pregnancy, and things got dark for a while. It was hard to get her out of bed those days, and my aunt and Caleb all but lived with us that year.

Then Delilah was born, and mom couldn't find it in herself to be sad anymore. She turned things around for the better, and gave my little sister and I more than enough love.

The summer before 8th grade, I got home from soccer practice and saw Bailey crying on her porch as her dad left the driveway. I'd learned a long time ago that it was just her and her dad in that house, her mom had passed away giving birth to her.

She didn't play the piano for 2 months, and the driveway stayed empty.

I had spent the break mowing lawns around town for money, I cut hers for free that summer. She never thanked me, but the slight uplift of her lips the next morning was more than enough.

For her 14th birthday in August, I used the entire origami paper set I got for Christmas to make her an entire bouquet of pink paper tulips. I left it at her front door before ringing the doorbell and running for my life.

The next morning, I saw the flowers I'd made sitting in a vase on her desk. Her dad came back right before school started that year, but Bailey didn't smile when hearing about everyone's summers.

That same year, Wren Kingston moved to Aria Falls and became Bailey's best friend. She started smiling more with Wren by her side. When Bailey's dad disappeared for weeks at a time through the school year, Wren slept over and kept Bailey distracted.

A week after school let out, I was taking out the trash and saw Bailey crying at her mailbox while reading something. She caught me watching and quickly wiped her tears before running in her house and slamming the door.

Her Grandpa Matt moved in two weeks later, and she started playing the piano more often.

For her 15th birthday, I stuck with the origami tulip bouquet, but used yellow paper this time instead. I had the idea that I would do the same thing as last year when it came to delivering them. But when I was getting ready to ring the doorbell and book it, the front door opened and there her grandfather was with a small smirk.

"I was wondering where she got those from, the girl can't even fold a paper in half properly."

I guess the fear of being caught out doing this gesture for the girl I've had a crush on since forever, was evident on my face, because the man took mercy on me.