to live for the hope of it all.

Chapter 66

April 29th, 2024

"I know delusion when I see it in the mirror,
You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal,
I just pretend it isn't real..."

Bailey

I went to school today, and Sarah sent me updates on Grandpa Matt every hour, just like she promised.

He was okay.

I went to school for a few hours.

And he was okay.

Beckett had saved us seats at lunch, and I was grateful for it. His friends were loud, in the best way. Just like at homecoming, they talked to me and Wren, asking questions and telling stories. It was refreshing, and I loved it.

And when I got home, Grandpa Matt asked for every detail about my day. I talked to him while the boys worked on moving the piano into the living room, and then he was begging me to play.

I hadn't played since February, and my hands shook as I stretched them over the keys.

He wants you to play, Bailey.

He's smiling again today, so you have to play.

My hands won't stop shaking.

I just need them to stop, and then I can do it.

I know I can.

"Scoot over," Wren said, and I looked up to see her flashing me an encouraging smile. Doing as she said, I moved down the bench before she sat next to me.

"My hands are shaking," I whispered, still trying to stretch them over the keys as they shook. "I want to play, they just uh, they won't stop."

"Bailey," she said softly. "You name the song, I'll sing it. We can do it together."

Together.

What song?

Something happy.

Something Wren would know.

And then I got it.

"Okay," I smile softly. "Listen, and you'll catch on."

"Brave of you to assume," she laughed lightly, but nodded her head.

Placing my hands on the keys, I started the opening notes to "Slut!" and watched as Wren's brow furrowed. It only took her a few seconds, and then she was grinning as she started the chorus.

Got lovestruck
Went straight to my head
Got lovesick
All over my bed

Love to think you'll never forget
Handprints in wet cement

"I'm not going down for being the only one saying "slut" here, Bay," she whispers, smiling wide. "So you better join in on that word."

"Deal," I smiled, still playing the notes.

But if I'm all dressed up
They might as well be looking at us
If they call me a...

"Slut!" We yelled, and by we, I mean Beckett and Caleb joined in from where they sat on the couch. I threw my head back in laughter, listening as Wren continued.

You know it might be worth it for once
If i'm gonna be drunk
Might as well be drunk in love

Send the code, he's waiting there
The sticks and stones they throw froze
Mid-air

"This one's yours, Bay," Wren laughed, and I sang along as the memory played back in my head from Kyle's party.

"I think they're watching us," Wren yells in my ear as we dance, and I feel shivers go up my spine from Beckett's gaze.

"They are," I laugh. "I can feel it!"

"I think you feel the alcohol!"

"That too!"

"Sing it!"

Everyone wants him
That was my crime
The wrong place at the right time
And I break down, then he's pulling me in

Continuing our cliche, I turn around to lock my gaze to Beckett's.

In a world of boys, he's a gentleman

"Do I even want to know the background story to this song?" My grandfather asks as we finish, and I revel in the most genuine smile I've seen him have in weeks.

"It involves alcohol," I smile sheepishly, moving to his bedside and taking a seat. "Wren and I might have had too much."

"Ah," he smirks lightly. "The hangover the next day. I tricked Beckett into coming over, found you two cuddling on the couch. You were upset he apologized after almost kissing you."

"Yeah," I groaned, watching as my boyfriend's face lit up. "Couldn't have gone without adding that last part, could you?"

"Just to be clear, I was apologizing for almost kissing you in a kitchen surrounded by drunk, sweaty teenagers. The location is what I was apologizing for," Beckett clarified from the couch, and I rolled my eyes at my grandfather who was smirking in a way that said "I told you so."

"Harlow," he said, turning to Wren on his other side. "You gonna practice that graduation speech on us?"

Wren's face paled, and I felt my heart drop right along with hers.

"Hey now," he smiled. "None of that. I'm gonna make it to graduation, but it would be easier to tell you now if it sucks than yelling over a crowd of people. Don't you think so?"

You can't promise that.

Today is one of your few good days.

"I haven't written it yet," Wren swallowed, her eyes glancing nervously around the room. "It has to be 10 minutes minimum. I uh, I don't even know what to say."

"You'll think of something," he says softly, covering her hand with his weak one. "I can't wait to hear it."

"Grandpa Matt," I swallow. "You aren't going to graduation. Sarah said it's in your best interest to stay here, in this bed."

"Sarah signed a contract. If I am alive, if my heart is beating, then I'll be at graduation. In a wheelchair, sure. But I am going to watch you all walk that stage," he pauses, raising his shaky hand to lift my chin. "I'm going to see you walk that stage if it's the last thing I do, Bailey."

"Okay," I croak out, tears welling up in my eyes because I don't have the energy to argue with him. "Whatever you say."

Please be right.

Please don't leave me.

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