to live for the hope of it all.

Chapter 12

September 23rd, 2023

"Got a secret, can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save,
Better lock it in your pocket,
Taking this one to the grave..."

Bailey

Beckett was cooking for me.

Granted, it was grilled cheese, but still. He was cooking for me. And he touched my leg on accident earlier, and I still had chills from where his skin brushed mine.

I'd spent my day rereading Happy Place by Emily Henry, and was just planning on staying in tonight with Grandpa Matt when Beckett had invited me over. I had to take a double take because I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I was close trying to come up with a way to ask my Grandpa Matt to reschedule our night in, but then he got called into work tonight anyways.

"Bailey I've gotta head in to the shop tonight, they just called," Grandpa Matt said, startling me.

"Oh."

"What's got you blushing?" He asked, smirking at the phone I had just dropped to the desk.

"Oh, um. Beckett just invited me over to watch a movie with him and Delilah..." I said, trailing off.

"Did he now? You should go, I'll be late tonight."

"I think I will," I decided, smiling softly at him despite his teasing. His smirk eased into a soft grin right back before he left my room.

I watched as Beckett put all his attention into making a grilled cheese, and the effort he was putting into such a small act had my stomach doing somersaults.

After watching him fail at flipping the sandwich, I took mercy on him and joined him at the stove to take over.

"Fuck," he grunted, trying to stop the cheese from melting onto the pan instead of the bread. I giggled and stepped into his space to take the spatula from him, blushing as our arms brushed.

"Let me help," I said, successfully sliding both pieces of bread back into place as he stayed in the same spot from earlier, our arms still brushing as he watched me work. It's a miracle I was able to make the grilled cheese, and put the other one in the pan after that with his gaze watching me so intently. My hands were shaking, and our proximity gave me insight to the distinct smell of pinewood and vanilla that he always had. There was no doubt my face wasn't showing everything I was feeling right now.

"How do you do that?" He asked, still staring at me as I flipped the second sandwich.

"Make grilled cheese?" I asked, smiling sheepishly and avoiding his eyes still to try and calm the butterflies in my stomach. He nodded and turned more so that his body was facing mine rather than the counter.

"It's not rocket science, but it was also the first thing I learned to make for myself," I offered, trying to shrug off the memory of being 9 years old and cooking myself dinner almost every night.

"How old were you? Please say you barely learned a few months ago, that would make me feel much better about this whole situation," Beckett joked lightly.

"I was 9."

"Who taught you? Grandpa Matt?"

Myself.

"No uh, I kind of just figured it out myself one day," I said, solemnly.

"Well, I for one, am glad you figured it out. I was supposed to be making this simple thing for you, and I am glad you saved it before I served you two burnt pieces of bread and some melted pan cheese," he laughed. Grinning, I took the last grilled cheese from the pan and set it on another nearby plate before passing one to him.

"Thank you for inviting me, Beckett," I hesitated. "I was just going to be home alone tonight because Grandpa Matt got called in to work, but this has been really fun."

"I'm happy you came," he smiled, leading me into the lying room and back to the couch. "What do you usually do when he gets called in to work?"

"I usually use his absence to my advantage and rewatch Pretty Little Liars since he never wants to watch it with me," I laughed, sitting on the opposite side of the sofa but facing his direction.

"Pretty Little Liars?"

Oh god, please don't judge it or me.

"Uh, yeah. It's a lot of drama, but it's entertaining," I said, trying to hide my heated face as I took a bite of the sandwich.

"We should watch it."

What?

"Oh, no we don't have to. It's really cringy, I'm sure we can find something else."

Beckett ignores me as he grabs the remote and cues the pilot episode before turning to me with a smile.

"Are you okay with starting at the pilot episode? If there's drama, I need to know details starting from the beginning," he said, pressing play.

I really like you.

I smiled at him in response, and he held my gaze for a while before facing the tv. I took a minute to study him as the tv glowed into the darkness around us, illuminating his face. His jawline could cut, and was beyond intimidating, but Beckett was the complete opposite.

It was different growing up admiring him from afar, but now that we were friends, and I got to know him and see him up close, it changes things. It changes everything. I was used to silently existing to each other, but now that we are where we are, I don't think I could ever go back if things went south.

"I know she seems sketchy right now because she was the only one awake, but I think Spencer is going to be my favorite character," Beckett said, interrupting my thoughts.

"She's something, that's for sure," I replied.

Spencer is my favorite character in this entire show.

Beckett turned his head and met my eyes before grinning as he scanned my face. Blushing after being caught out, I turned my attention back to the tv and shortly after saw him do the same.

I have spent 10 years wondering what it would be like for you to pay attention to me, and this is even better than I thought it could be.

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