to live for the hope of it all.

Chapter 50

February 9th, 2024

"You're so vain,
You probably think this song is about you,
You're so vain,
I'll bet you think this song is about you..."

Bailey

I'm overwhelmed with a sense of pride and happiness as I see Beckett shoving around with his team in celebration. His face is lit up with excitement, and I rush to commit this moment to memory.

The last few months of all his hard work have finally paid off. I watch as his teammates jump around him where he holds the trophy, and my heart fills with so much love and admiration.

It's a moment of pure elation that comes with winning the state championship, and I am so happy to be here to see it.

"This is unreal," Wren laughs from next to me.

"I know," I reply, not tearing my eyes away from Beckett.

This was all Beckett had been talking about since we got back from Colorado, and I was so happy that he was experiencing it.

God, Colorado.

So much had changed since then, but all in the best way. After New Year's Eve, I felt like the slate had been wiped clean, and I was free of a burden I held for a long time.

Beckett got busier, and I missed him, but he always made sure to find small amounts of time for me during the day. We still hadn't put a label on us, but I wasn't in any rush to. I was happy, he made me happy.

When we got back in early January, Grandpa Matt told me he decided to take a temporary leave from the shop. He seemed content and determined with his decision to be around more these next few months, and I was in no place to argue with him. Plus, I wanted him around.

He was home every night for dinner, and we played the piano almost every day. He started going to bed earlier, but only after we'd spent most of the evenings together. Wren would be there a lot too, and he'd beg her to sing while I played the piano.

She got this look in her eyes every time he asked it of her, that same far away one I couldn't place. I'd feel a bitterness seeping into me every time I saw it, but then I remember everything else she has going on and I would let it go. She always relented when he asked, and we'd end up laughing over wrong notes and mispronounced lyrics of some songs we had never even heard before, but ones he requested anyways.

Our pinterest board was full of ideas for our dorm room, and we planned to slowly start buying stuff now so it wouldn't all pile up the closer we got to move in. I was looking forward to it more than anything, taking that next step in life, and with my best friend too.

"You girls ready? Long drive back," Grandpa Matt says, and I note the exhaustion in his features. It's been there a lot lately, but he blames it on all the free time he has now. I don't know if I believe him, but he looks happier lately, like he's at peace. "You can see lover boy tomorrow. His adrenaline rush is gonna crash the second he gets back on that bus."

"Can we pick up food, Oliver?" Wren asks, locking her arm with mine and dragging me to the car with the others. "I'm starving."

"Whatever y'all want," he laughs, climbing into the driver's seat.

"Matt, let me drive," Anna says, standing outside his door with a look of earnestness on her face. "You drove here, relax in the passenger seat for once."

"I'm alright, Anna," he argues, and I almost miss the frown that slips onto her face for a split second before she forces a smile. She looks back into the backseat for a moment, and her eyes meet mine for a split second before they're back on him.