to live for the hope of it all.

Chapter 48

December 31st, 2023

"All my flowers grew back as thorns,
Windows boarded up after the storm,
He built a fire just to keep me warm,
All the drama queens taking swings,
All the jokers dressing up as kings,
They fade to nothing when I look at him..."

Bailey

"You're a dork," Beckett laughs, watching as I continue to use the guide rail to pull myself along the ice, like I have been for the last 30 minutes. Beckett has tried to drag me with him, but I refuse to leave this trusty bar.

"No," I argue, tightening my grip. "I just have the balance of a penguin."

"A penguin?" He asks, barking out another laugh.

"They have bad balance, Beckett!"

I watch him dip his head and snicker. He's moving effortlessly along the ice, and I have no idea how. My eyes linger at the hair on the nape of his neck, and my cheeks heat thinking about that part of him I love holding on to when he's kissing me, how he shivers when I play with it.

The jacket he's wearing is doing wonders for his shoulders, and I'm half tempted to throw my arms around them.

He turns on his skates and catches me staring, but I don't even bother shying away this time.

"Come here," he smirks, moving to grab my arms from the bar. I eye him hesitantly before transitioning to his forearms and holding on for dear life.

I try to avoid the fact that we're on ice, even though I've always wanted to try ice skating. I was excited when we got here, and I prayed it would come effortlessly to me. I was quickly humbled, clearly Beckett was God's favorite.

Well yeah, just look at him.

"What?" he asks, and I smile up at him.

You're beautiful.

I can't look away from you.

He grins back at me and his excitement is so contagious that I almost forget where we are, until my skate slips and I stumble. Beckett's arm wraps around my lower back as he catches me before pulling me up straight, but still flush against him.

He says something, but the words are lost on me. The air between our faces is charged, and the space between our bodies is nonexistent as we stand still on the ice. My pulse is racing as Beckett licks his lips, and I find myself mimicking him on my own.

I tilt my head back to meet Beckett's eyes and there's that perfect moment of breathless anticipation when the world stops. Then it tilts on its axis when I push forward to meet his mouth with my own.

It starts like the others, soft and languid, like we're still testing the waters of what this is between us. I feel Beckett's hands rest on my cheeks as my arms find their place over his shoulders, my fingers finding the spot I love on his neck. Beckett groans then, and whatever composure I had gets lost in the sound. The butterflies in my stomach are fighting for dominance, and I can't focus on anything but Beckett.

He smells so good.

He tastes even better.

Is that a baby crying?

Why is it crying?

Oh god.

We're in public!

I pull back suddenly, and my balance is almost lost again. Beckett steadies me once again with an arm around me, and I refuse to meet his eyes in fear of not being able to control myself.