to live for the hope of it all.

Chapter 76

July 26th, 2024

"'Cause my baby's fit like a daydream,
Walking with his head down,
I'm the one he's walking to,
So call it what you want, yeah..."

Bailey

Truth be told, I have no idea where my sudden confidence came from. Maybe it was because I liked the way Beckett was looking at me when I came out of the bathroom, and how my skin felt like it was on fire from his gaze, or maybe it was how flustered he got when trying to explain himself, like I don't already know that he's a perfect gentleman. It was adorable.

He was right, we're both in this for the long haul, and there's no rush. But I wasn't lying either when I said I wouldn't mind if he was.

I love Beckett, and I have for months now. He's made me feel more alive just from looking at me. I trust him with everything, including this. He's never made me feel uncomfortable, or pressured me into anything.

Part of me knows that it's because these last few months have been hard, but I also meant what I said earlier at the concert. I am happy. I am at peace, because knowing my grandfather is at peace has covered me in a blanket of calm.

I miss him, more than anything. But I see him in the people I surround myself with, and I feel like it's enough.

And today has been one of my favorites. I got to go to a concert with the boy I love, and I genuinely did have a good time. Seeing Beckett smile, dancing with him to his favorite artist, only to have one of my favorite artists join his, it was everything.

Beckett is everything.

So yeah, I wouldn't mind if he was ready to go further. But like he'd never push me, I would never push him. I'm perfectly content just spending the night watching my favorite show with him.

But I wouldn't mind just kissing him all night either.

After I cue the show up on my laptop, I search the room for something to do while I wait for Beckett. Suddenly remembering I never texted my best friend back, I called her and waited for her to pick up.

"Bay?" She answers on the third ring, sounding breathless. "What's up?"

"What are you doing?" I laugh, and she quickly clears her throat before there's movement on her end.

"Nothing," she rushes. "I was running around outside with Beau."

Suspicious.

"Uh huh," I grin. "At 11pm?"

"No time like the present, right?" She laughs awkwardly.

Liar.

"Is Caleb there?" I ask.

"Uh, no. He dropped me off a while ago. I was just letting Beau out before I went to bed."

"Alright," I smirked. "I'll let it go this time."

"Nothing to let go," she tried. "What are you and Beckett up to?"

"Waiting for him to get out of the shower so we can watch Pretty Little Liars."

"And?"

"And," I paused, feeling my cheeks heat. "I don't think it's gonna happen. He got really flustered earlier and doesn't want to rush me."

"But you don't feel rushed," she said.

"Of course I don't," I scoff. "He's the perfect gentleman, Wren. I think if he wanted to, I would be ready. But I love that he's patient and keeps telling me that it's not what matters most to him."