to live for the hope of it all.

Chapter 63

April 28th, 2024

"Whatever you're facing,
If your heart is breaking,
There's a promise for the ones who just hold on..."

Beckett

Bailey didn't go to school that next week.

Despite her grandfather's attempts to get her to leave, she wouldn't. My mother and I took turns checking on them every day, and it was clear that as Grandpa Matt's condition worsened, so did my girlfriend's mental health.

The first time I brought them dinner, her eyes had been so void compared to the vibrant blue they once were.

She was shutting down.

Right there with her home in a hospice bed, her heart was withering.

It looked like she hadn't slept in days, and when I found her pillow and blanket scattered on the sofa near Grandpa Matt's bed, my thoughts were confirmed. She'd been sleeping in the living room every night, just to be near him.

"I tried getting her to go to her bedroom, boyo," Grandpa Matt said. "I don't know what to do anymore. She promised she wouldn't do this, but I know she can't help it."

My heart had broken further hearing how torn he was about it. He was feeling responsible, and she couldn't help how bad she was hurting.

I tried talking to her about it, pushing aside my advice to let her come to me, because I thought if I pushed, she'd open up.

I was wrong. If anything, Bailey pulled farther away from me. I couldn't be mad at her for it, because she was hurting. I knew that, but it didn't make it hurt any less that I couldn't comfort her in any way anymore.

"I'm so sorry. I want you. I just, I feel like I can't breathe when I'm not home with him. I'm sorry I haven't been with you. I'm hurting all the time, and the only time I can feel my heartbeat is when you're around. You make me feel real."

Those are the words I held onto. When she pulled back from my touch, when my texts and calls went unanswered, when she didn't meet my eyes anymore.

God, none of this is fair.

It's nobody's fault.

Everyone is hurting.

This isn't supposed to be happening.

I didn't know what to do anymore. Bailey wouldn't come to school, and we're supposed to graduate in less than a month. She needs to be here.

I know she doesn't want to leave him, but she's hurting him more by walking around that house like a zombie. He has Sarah, she's there all day till 4pm. He'll be okay until then.

He has to be.

But she wouldn't listen to me, and I was desperate.

"She's still angry at me, Beckett," Wren said anxiously on the other line. "If I show up there, unannounced... I don't know."

"Wren, please," I begged, my voice cracking. "I've tried everything, but she's not angry with you. I know she's not, she's just hurting."

"I know," Wren whispered, and I heard her sniffle. "I know she's hurting, Beckett. In case you're forgetting, I'm part of the reason why. I just, uh, I don't know if I want to make the situation worse."

"She's not sleeping, Wren," I cry out softly, running my hand not holding the phone through my hair. "I don't know if she's eating what we take over either, and she needs to be at school. We're graduating in less than a month, she has to be here. And uh, you need to see him, Wren."

Wren hadn't been over this last week to visit, even though I called to tell her the news Friday night. She'd thanked me for telling her, but she hadn't been over since. I knew she was still respecting Bailey's request for space, but Bailey didn't know what she needed anymore.

Wren went quiet on the other line, and I could hear her hiccup before sniffling.

"Alright," she cried softly. "Okay, I'll uh, I'll do it."

"She doesn't hate you, Wren."

"I know, but she can't look at me for longer than a minute. It hurts her, and I feel like I'm doing the opposite of giving her space."

"She needs to hear it from someone, and something tells me it needs to be you."

"I'm gonna try," she pauses. "I uh, I don't have a car right now."

"I can come pick you up," I rush. "Just send me your address."

"Okay," she croaks. "Okay, I will, thanks Beckett."

An hour later, Wren and I pulled into my driveway, and she gazed nervously in the direction of Bailey's house.

It's your home too, Wren.

He's your grandfather too.

"Tell me what it looks like in there," she whispers, and when she turns to me there are unshed tears in her eyes as she bites her lip. "I need to know before I go in."

"It's uh," I pause, clearing my throat. "His bed is set up in the living room, and his heart monitor echoes through the first floor. He's uh, he doesn't look like himself. He's paler, and he's lost a lot of weight, but don't flinch when you see him. He'll call you out on it. Just uh, just know it's not as lively in there as it used to be."

"Okay," she breathes, gripping the door handle for a moment before taking a deep breath and pushing it open.

I watch as she approaches their front door and raises her hand to knock, only to falter.

Please, Wren.

Don't give up.

She needs this.

Her hand lowers, and she digs in the pocket of her hoodie for something before finding it.

A key.

She puts it through before twisting, and then I watch as my last hope enter's Bailey's house.

__________________________________

Leave chapter feedback here :)))

__________________________________