The Suite Adult Life

April (8.2)

Easter had come two Sundays into the month and an epic Easter Egg Hunt had been coordinated - by Jackson, of course. The girls had just turned one and they were walking, or running if you were talking about Summer, everywhere. He had scoped out a nice little picnic spot in Manhattan Parcel Park A on Roosevelt Island. Jackson' parents brought an amazing spread - meeting them after early morning church services. Carey had made the trip down and to everyone's surprise Kurt showed up with gifts for the girls. It was the first time he had seen them since they were born. Cody and Zack loved their father but they had long learned that he wasn't reliable and to not try and push any semblance of consistency with him.

Zack had just finished hiding all of the eggs, when a figure in the distance caught his twin's eye. The hunt, which really just consisted of the eggs being thrown around on their little plot so the two fathers could walk the girls around to pick them up. When they were older the hiding places would get much harder and more elaborate. With the grandparents happily snapping pictures and cheering each one on, Cody slipped away to meet the approaching individual.

"Hey," he said breathlessly. He ignored how his fingers itched to embrace them, instead shoving them into his pockets.

"Hi," she smiled back. Bailey's hair was long and straight, blowing lightly in the spring breeze. She wore an adorable floral spring dress that showed off her toned arms and shapely legs.

"What are you doing here?" It wasn't excitement conveyed in his voice but it was good to see her after their last meeting. They had gone radio silent neither really wanting to be the one to try and pick up where they left off. They were still raw and Cody was tamping down the emotions that rose in his throat when he just looked at his nieces. Aspen already had a penchant for knowing when someone needed love and would just splay herself across his chest happily napping. It made him never want to move.

"Jackson invited me," she smiled. "I couldn't go home and he really didn't want me to be alone. Even though I'm totally fine!" She might have said that a little bit too quickly. "I mean just spending a holiday by myself." She wanted to make that clear. She wasn't fine fine but she could still handle herself.

"Oh, because of work?" He supplied, hoping to be helpful. London had told him about the shakeup at her firm and how she feared her job was in danger. The scandal with the SEC and making sure everything was legal had been an all hands on deck situation.

Bailey sucked in her lips thinking of the real reason she wasn't at home. "No," she said softly. She let it hang in the air weightily.

The two just stared at each other, Cody feeling the tension and relief wafting over her. "Do you... want to talk about it?" He watched her shake her head in the negative and dab just under her eye as if to catch a tear to keep her face clean. "I'm... so sorry," he consoled.

Bailey hadn't meant to confess anything to her mother when she called. But with everything that had been going on she neglected to tell her family that she had broken off the engagement. No deposits had actually been made and she had sent the ring back months ago. It was almost as if she thought they didn't have a right to know. She sat numbly as she listened to her mother go on and on about how she wasn't getting any younger and that this might be Bailey's 'one chance' at happiness? And lastly, was it really so difficult to forgive him for his transgressions? Didn't Bailey know that sometimes men just couldn't help themselves? They needed guidance because some were just grown children. It was a woman's place to keep them in line.

Really, it all just sounded like a garbled mess. Eunice tried to bring Biblical teachings into it saying that 'infidelity' wasn't the same back then as it was today. Bailey could feel the bile rising from all the sexism her mother was spewing. But the last straw was when her mother brought up children... again. That made her snap. She wasn't even forty-eight hours from meeting Cody and reliving her trauma. She couldn't count how many times she dodged this subject with her mother and laid both subtle and blatant cues that Eunice needed to drop the subject.

The words tumbled out before she could stop them. She put it out for her mother to see. That she didn't love Chad just the idea of him. That he was a placeholder for who and what she really wanted in life. She never got over the Boston Boy that they disapproved of and how her actions pushed him away instead of doing what she should have done. The phrase 'I had an abortion' hung profoundly in the air. She finally admitted to her mother that the mere talk of children triggered her in ways she never imagined. Didn't the older woman ever wonder why she never really hugged or played with her nieces and nephews? Or wonder why she much rather spend time with the cows and horses and other animals instead of the kids? She wanted to break off the engagement the next morning just because her mother did what all mothers do - imagined the next step for their children.

It was in her tirade that she realized how awful she had been to her mother. She had been punishing the woman out of fear for a choice she had made. It was her fear that kept her from being honest that drove a wedge in between them. She should have ripped the band-aid off when it happened and let the dominoes fall where they may. Instead it was Bailey that kept the two at arms length and her mother was only doing what she could to keep her daughter from drifting away.

When the silence became too much, Bailey finally asked for her mother to say something. She should have been relieved that her mother didn't immediately disown her but the woman made it emphatically clear she didn't agree with the decision. However it was so long ago that maybe, with time, she could forgive Bailey for what she had done. The lawyer wanted to scream at her mother that she had nothing to be sorry for. She made no transgression against her parents. Her child or future children didn't belong to Eunice and Clyde. That they weren't owed anything simply because they birthed her. Instead, Bailey said she understood and hung up the phone.

The following days she was bombarded with texts from her sisters. The census of whether they agreed with her decision was split down the middle. Surprisingly it wasn't those with children vs without, or older vs younger. It just... was. It was Cora who suggested that it might be too soon to come home for Easter. While their parents wouldn't immediately shun her, it was obvious that they needed time. The usually stalwart Clyde had been beside himself with emotions holding himself up in the barn.

So it was through the grapevine, Bailey had confided in London who called Jackson, that the NYC Easter invitation was extended. Jackson, to his credit, kept the story to himself. Such news was for his husband to learn from Cody and not him. It was his thinking that a nice little outing would ease the sorrow if only for a short time.

"Well," Cody broke through her thoughts. "My dad is here so you won't be the only unexpected surprise." He turned to stand beside her, his hand resting gently on the lower part of her back. It felt nice. Even for a brief moment she could feel his support as they walked towards the blended family. "Jackson also made his chicken salad. He'll tell you he made the croissants but don't believe him. They come from this french bakery that I'll have to take you to sometime."

She was certain that his invitation was a polite gesture only, but it still felt nice to hear. She heard him call everyone's attention over to her and reintroduce her into the fold. "You remember Bailey," he had said. Not his girlfriend or ex. Just Bailey. One name like Cher or Britney. She was swarmed by hugs and the years that passed simply melted away. There was no judgment from Carey and Kurt was enigmatic as ever. The only time she really blanched was when Aspen had been thrust into her grasp. The toddler sat her lap clapping randomly urging the woman to follow. "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" Bailey sang softly for a time before passing the baby off to Jackson' father. It was Summer who made her smile by tricking her into chasing her around and showing her all of her eggs.

The conversations were light and Bailey made it a point to compliment Jackson on the spread, even going so far as to ask if he made the croissants himself. Cody's look of playful indignation didn't escape her. The spring sun warmed her back and for the first time in as long as she could remember she felt lighter. The weight of her secrets were long gone. She knew she still had a way to go and she hadn't ruled out going to actual therapy but for right now, she could enjoy the joy of the day.