The Suite Adult Life

Winter (16.1)

December

"So you haven't told her," Zack said through a mouthful of pretzels. They were back at the same weird steampunk hipster bar that they were in when Cody's life had taken a left turn. The dark haired counterpart was more judicious with his drinking this time. He wasn't aiming to get blasted like he had before.

Exasperated, Cody cried "what am I going to do? We finally get on the right page and now I have to leave?" His flare for the dramatic had never wavered. Buried, sometimes, but gone? Never. He let his forehead fall to the bare brass covered table, the heat of his breath fogging up the cool metal.

Zack sipped at the pretentious mead that he'd tried in Brooklyn months ago. "Or you could quit," he offered off-handedly. He motioned to the bartender for another round.

Cody snapped his head up along with his fingers. "I could quit!" A light bulb flickered on in his brain.

"You're not quitting," Zack said tiredly, finishing his brother's drink for him. Cody could never do something like that. Had he been reckless in recent years? Yes. But he was also a workaholic. He knew his brother better than he knew himself. The starving artist's life was never his path. Photography might have started as a lark, but he mastered it as quickly as he could so he could be as successful as possible. That was how Cody had always been. Quick to the first, quick to master, so he wouldn't be left in the dust.

"I'm not quitting," Cody agreed. A pregnant pause grew between them. "This is going to crush her," misery laced his voice. Bailey was going to be crushed because he was crushed. "How could I have been so naive? I really thought there was a way we could be together."

With a sigh, Zack dropped his irascible demeanor. "You weren't naive. You two, over this past year, have made major improvements not only with each other but with yourselves. I'm actually really proud of you. You used to escape into your work. You used it use it like shield to cut yourself off from everyone around you. Now, you willingly go to parties and events and allow yourself a break. Bailey will understand. You'll call every night."

"It's a thirteen hour time difference," Cody deadpanned.

Zack ignored his brother's attitude. "Okay so you'll be having breakfast while she's having dinner! My point is, you'll make it work."

Cody looked up at the face so much like his through his brow. "You're far more optimistic about this than I am."

"Have you thought it might be because you love Bailey?"

The look Cody gave his brother said that was a little premature. "I can't deny that my life is better that she's back in it. But, we don't have the longevity to make such proclamations."

"You mean like living everyday waiting for her to return?" Zack could see his brother's brain spinning. His eyes were a veritable projector of memories the two had been through. Didn't he say that her text message while he was in the Middle East was like an anchor to him? He nudged the new cocktail in Cody's direction and reaching over, rubbed at his brother's shoulder. "Aww, Cody! I think your heart grew three sizes this day!"

Cody downed his cocktail. Maybe he did want to get fucked up.

~*~

Cody's intercom buzzed Bailey's arrival. He'd found an old pasta recipe of his that he thought would be perfect for breaking the news of his departure. They had another month together, along with the holidays. Plenty of time to make memories until they could see each other again. At seeing her smile and feeling her lips against his, his heart broke for the both of them.

"Is it gauche to say that I missed your cooking most of all?" Bailey teased. She was absolutely stuffed and the comforting food brought back many memories of sneaking into the kitchens for late night snacks and anniversary style meals.

As Cody cleaned up and Bailey sipped at her wine watching the lights across the river she asked, "what would you think of spending Christmas and New Years in California?" Holly had invited them and for any other couple, this would be a huge step. "I know that Marcus always goes all out. But, I thought maybe you might want to skip it?"

Cody screwed his eyes shut. This was the time. If he didn't do it now then anything he agreed to would be construed as leading her on. And that was the last thing he wanted. Wordlessly, he drained the dirty dish water and finished packing everything away. "I would love that, Haybail."

She heard the apprehension in his voice. She felt it in her heart. "Great! I'll call Holly and tell her." Maybe if she barrelled through the anxiety coursing through her, then she could gaslight her gut into believing it was wrong.

It was his eyes. They were so full of regret and sorry. "But, I can't." He could lie and say that he never wanted to miss a holiday with his nieces. He knew she would begrudgingly accept that. "There's... there's something I have to tell you."

Bailey's lip quivered, thinking the worst. "Did I do something wrong?" It came out so soft and childlike, Cody thought he might have missed it.

"No!" He was at her side in an instant, taking her hands in his and kissing her knuckles reassuringly. "You could never." He tried to smile, but he couldn't quite get it broader than a grimace. "It's my job."

He went over every detail he knew. He didn't obfuscate his feelings either. He was excited, fearful, and dreading leaving. She knew how much he loved Japan. He'd been a japanophile since they were teenagers. It was a dream posting. Intellectually he knew that. For the first time his head and heart were against each other. She never suggested that he quit his job. If she was still at her old firm then she would have happily supported him until he found something new. Maybe he would enter the field of fashion or take his art full-time. But, they both knew that wasn't what he wanted.

"So we have over a month." She let out a long slow breath. "It's not a lot of time but... I don't want to spend a day of it away from you. I'll help you pack and find you a storage unit. London's apartment has three bedrooms so we should be able to store everything there and I can ship you what you need, once you're settled. And we'll have dinner and breakfast together." She nodded, a plan forming. They would make this work. She lost him once. She wasn't going to lose him again.