The Suite Adult Life

August (12.5)

The New York Times Office

Zack stormed through the office making a beeline for Carla's office. Televisions played various news stations from local to international. Almost all were covering the recent bombing. All of the staff writers gaped at his invasion, some recognized him from ESPN and others were doing a double take at the fact that an identical face to their coworker had appeared. Zack ignored them all as he spotted his target in her office. Carla raised her hands as he approached stuttering an apology and asking for grace at the same time.

"I told you something was wrong!" he yelled, slamming her door closed.

"I just found out!" Carla argued back watching as he paced in front of her, his face getting progressively redder with rage and fear.

"Did you even text him?" He could only look at her for a brief moment without feeling sick.

"I did-"

"And?" He pressed, forcing himself to look her in the eye.

She hesitated. "It didn't go through." She thought it was the building at first so she moved to the atrium and when that didn't work she went to the roof. But every text she sent wouldn't connect. She had been in the business too long to let herself jump to conclusions. It could be that he had turned off his data so he wasn't roaming and wasn't connected to the wifi. Or he could have been traveling back and there was no service. She didn't know so she wasn't going to assume.

"And you didn't think that was something I should know?!" Zack raged. "That's my other half out there!"

Carla wouldn't let herself rise to his bait. She could argue with them but it would just sound like a pair of rabid dogs and nothing would get accomplished. She kept with a calm and empathetic tone. She hadn't lost a reporter yet and she wasn't about to let Cody be her first. "I did. But I didn't know the source." She used her hands to subliminally point to the chair hoping he would take it. She knew the weight he was carrying was too much and she couldn't fathom what it would feel like when it broke. "Take a moment to just consider," she knew to never use the word 'think' with those in such a heightened state, "how you would have taken that news."

He pushed the back of the chair he had been gripping. He turned his back to her, tilting his head to the ceiling, taking three deep breaths. "I would have been prepared..." he growled.

Carla took her own breath, "maybe so. But we have everyone working on finding him and bringing him home. He really could just be in the middle of the desert driving home for all we know. He may not even know that it happened," she felt her voice get light. It was the tone she used when delivering bad news to her son.

"I'm a father," he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Don't take that tone with me." At best, it was a professional request. It was his way of telling her that they were equals with this. He saw her raise her hands in acquiesce. "It's been almost a year since Colombia," he said more to himself as he looked out the window at the bright summer sun. "You promised me you wouldn't send him back out after Colombia." His eyes were rimmed red from unshed tears. He felt like his connection to his brother was being severed. There would be flickers that he thought were pain but they dissipated quickly into silence.

"I know. And I tried," she placated. "But he's literally been asking me every day to send him somewhere. You know what he's like when he feels cooped up! Why do you think I sent him to Colorado and Boston?" Zack scoffed. Fucking Colorado. His brother had been so happy after that trip. Boston had brought them home which brought another type of happiness for his brother.

"He has been in my office, every single day asking to go out into the field. You just get to hear him bitch!" She spitted out. Her own superiors questioned why she had basically benched their best photographer. The decision to send him to the Middle East came from above her. His photos from Colombia were being submitted to the Pulitzer and Peabody committees. They were sure that if those didn't win then anything he got from Pallestine would. "This is huge for his career. He's already got buzz around him in regards to what he brought back from Colombia!"

Zack dragged his hands through his short hair, gripping at the strands trying to find a minute sense of relief. "Because that's what my brother's life is worth? Some fucking hardware?!" He wanted to throw something, anything. His heavy bag would be bloody tonight.

"Zack! You know that's not true. But I can't dictate his life, or his job, according to what you want! I get that he is your twin..."

He let out a sardonic laugh. "You know, people say that like they think they know. But they never do." He shook his head incredulously. "He's not just my twin, he's my identical twin. On a DNA level, we are exactly the same. Then, on top of that, he's ten minutes younger than I am, so that also makes me his 'big' brother." Rage dripped from him as he spoke. "You cannot even begin to fathom what that invokes. So don't sit there and tell me I don't know him. That I don't know what's best for him."

Carla stood making her medium build seem as imposing as possible. She leaned over her desk coming nose to nose with the same blue eyes as one of her best friends. "I know you're identical. I know he's younger. I know all of this. But! Cody is his own man. He is capable of making his own decisions no matter if they get him killed or not. He knew the job and accepted it. There is nothing you and I can do to stop that. Now, sit. the fuck. down."

Neither blinked. Neither wanted to surrender. Zack could feel the exhaustion of his fear and worry seep into his muscles. Slowly he bent his head and took the seat in front of her. He heard her thank him. He saw the plastic cup filled with an amber liquid in front of him. It was against company policy but what were they going to do? They had a man MIA. He clinked his cup with hers hearing the dull tap of plastic.

"Cody is the smartest man I know," she let the burn of alcohol run down her throat. "But he is also the fucking dumbest as well."

"He's so fucking dumb," Zack chuckled. They let the silence hang in the air, both thinking the worst. "I can't go through what I did last year. I won't! If something happens to him..."

"Did he ever talk to you about what happened?" She sipped her whiskey.

He shook his head. "No. He acts like it didn't even happen or like it was a movie he saw. I don't know if he's purposefully burying it or just falling into a delusion."

"I can't promise he's safe." Carla sighed. "But I can promise that we're going to do everything to get him home. Our White House correspondents are already talking to the press secretary. Believe me when I say, everyone is looking for him."

"...sorry," he whispered. He didn't know how he was going to tell his husband. He didn't know if he was going to be strong for his girls. He already had disaster scenarios running through his mind like how he was going to teach them about him. And imagining which one would turn out more like Cody - Aspen was his current guess.

"Don't be," she shrugged. "At least not to me." To her credit, Carla was honest to a fault. She didn't play the game of politics. She didn't want to be Lois Lane when she was a girl. No, she wanted to be Perry White and she had dedicated her whole career to being an advocate for her reporters. So when something like this happened to one the cracks in her heart spread a little farther. "But, when he gets home. And I do mean when, you're going to be the one to tell him what you did."