𝐒𝐈𝐘𝐀~𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

6~Nightmares

                              Helplessness

🎶 Bakhuda tumhi ho

It felt good after so many years it felt like I'm a little free now. When I was in India back there it always felt as if I was in someone's eyes or someone's watching me every single time I'm out of the palace, it became so tough for me to even get out somewhere, there is always a fear inside me what if they all were back.

They made havoc inside my brain. I wanted to live a little. The only reason I chose New York for my master's is my past. I'm running from it, because I'm a fucking coward who let them decide what they want to do with my mind and body.

They played with my feelings, and I ended up in hospital. When I opened my eyes, I saw two faces there avii and aadi bhaiya. My most precious people yet I didn't have the courage to meet my eyes because their eyes held sympathy and guilt.

After that day everyone tried their best to make me feel better and warm but that didn't feel enough, I felt they were just doing all the care because of pity and I didn't need that so I just restarted my College but from the house only.

I accepted all the security things and I was going with the security attend my classes while they were standing on the door. It all felt unnecessary because I didn't get to see or hear anything about those people afterwards as if they never existed.

I completed my graduation under security and internship as well. After graduation I joined the same hospital where I used to do internships and the same process I followed there. Two years and I did a regular job whenever I got a call in the middle of the night or in the daylight. I was running and running not knowing from when.

I applied here and got selected and I'm here.
I was a little satisfied that I didn't feel anyone's gaze in the last two days. Usually I take sleeping pills which made me numb and help me to forget the whole world for five to six hours, because they didn't work on me more than that now I guess. But I skipped them from the last three days which means I need to take it today. And I'm going to skip because tomorrow is orientation and I need to be on time.

And thinking about all of them sleep engulfed me.

🌱

A loud bang on my door makes me flinch, it's quite late.Who can it be. Seems like nothing but bitch to me.

I opened the main wooden door and there is bhoomi my classmate and her 2 senior male friends who are looking quite drunk right now but what the hell they are doing here in the girls hostel, it's 1 am.

Bhoomi's trying to bang them with both hands while the others are just lying on each other and they are literally reeking.

"Open the fuckin door siya" she shouted.

Panick surge in my whole body don't know what to do, they all are drunk and it's not giving me a good vibe. I should call someone to help or yeah call the warden. I run inside and try to find my phone ..... "where's it my phone please please"fear engulfed me and my palms getting sweaty and they are shivering like hell.