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Chapter 14

Becky's hand found it's way on to Freen's cheek, caressing her.

"Becky?" Freen called her voice cracking.

"Mhmm."

"My name is not Sam....I..It's Freen.

I'm Saint's wife."

Becky's hand retracts from her face at lightening speed.

“What?” Becky asks Freen as she gets up from the bed and let the words sink in. She has never felt so angry. So betrayed. “Is this some kind of joke? Some kind of game?”

“No no, Becky. I never intended for any…” Freen walks towards her but Becky quickly steps back further.

“Any what? Humiliation!? You did all this to humiliate me?” Becky cries at Freen.

“Humiliate? You were the one who humiliated me first!” Freen cries as well. “You came into my marriage…”

“And so you pretended to be someone else and came into my home? Into my heart!? Is this some kind of sick revenge scheme?” Becky shouts, feeling too much. It’s too much. Just too much to take in. She feels like she can’t breathe already.

“No, Becky. I just wanted to find out the truth…. I..I.. Becky?!” She tries to reach out for her with her hands.

"Get out. Go on. Get the hell out of my house." Becky spat with venom in her voice.

"Let me explain. Please." Freen begs.

"No. Leave."

"What the hell are you doing to me? What do you want from me?" Becky cried in anguish.

Freen couldn't stay there anymore. It broke her heart to see what she did. How much hurt she caused. So she left, leaving behind a crying, sobbing, and broken woman.

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"Does anybody have anything else to say?" The grief counselor Mind asks the group infront of her.

Freen raises her hand.

"Yes, Freen?"

"I'd like to tell you something. I know this is grief counseling but...I thought of something which might be part of the grief or maybe I'm unbalanced or maybe I'm just not over Saint's death. I went to bed with his lover. I went into her home, I pretended to be someone else and deceived her. I looked after her child like she were my own and, as if that weren't enough, I ended up in bed with her, kissing her and...It's not an issue about sexuality, I'm not concerned
about having sex with her. The thing is, we had a fight and I don't know how to deal with...this hole I have inside of me."

"Do you feel love towards her?" Mind asks.

"No, we're friends. We're..." Freen finds herself stopping and going over her answer.

"Well...I'm not really sure. I've realized I don't want to be away from her. That I need to be around her or something. Like in her orbit. I think Saint felt the same way. The thing is I can't...I don't know if it's just that Saint died and he was the love of my life and I can't get over the hole he left, maybe I've filled...that hole with her and now the space that's left is actually the one left by him but, I don't know, maybe it's the one she left."

"Look...often when we lose someone we become dependent on others. Just like many of us here did. Many other times the relationships that develop are real and genuine. They're sometimes more liberal than those before."

"Right."

"What I'm trying to say is...despite the fact that she was your husband's lover and that this isn't a usual situation, doesn't mean it isn't real. That your feelings for her is not genuine. It could be real. You could even be in love with her and that would be okay."