I met her in high school, we started as frenemies then turned out best friends and for 8 years of being with her, my heart started to secretly fell in love to my bestfriend but what's the catch?
--She's straight while I hide inside the closet.
"Okay what's with the long face?" Ally noticing as I'm cleaning after our dinner with Gigi already sleeping.
I tried to smile it away but failed after realizing that any sooner Ice and Jaden will be official while I will forever hide this secret inside. "Nothing, it's just."
She waits for me as her expression softens, as if she understands me and right now, everything is hurting.
I heaved deeply, trying not to tear up.
"Is this about your bestfriend?" She finally breaking her silence.
Just her name and a tear fall downs as I gradually wipe it off with a sly saddened smile "Summer, you will never get past it if you're not willing to face it. Tell her and so what after? Live no regrets in life, you're still young and there are so much to come in your way" she walk towards me with a smile in her soft expression, "remember? Be risky or be risky, because there's no other way but to do it"
Just like what Ally said. I give it a thought a million times while walking back and forth in the hallway before deciding to find Ice.
Finding, to tell her what I really feel. To finally let free of this little voice inside my chest that if she rejected me then I can finally move forward.
"Summer?" I stop when Mateo steps out from one of the room.
"Did you see Ice?" I asked between catching my breathing.
He exhaled and stared at me boringly "Of course it has to be Ice, everyone's looking for her. Well, she's in the end hallway with—"
I nodded before muttering thanks as my feet automatically resumes in mixed of excitement and thrill....
And seeing Ice from the end hallway slowed down my pace while my heart is beating so loudly in my chest. There is a lot of emotion but the one that stands out is fear of excitement....
I was about to call her name but.
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"......are you sure?" I halted after hearing Jaden voice but the smile of excitement faded and turning to this nerve wrecking pain....."are you seriously telling me that we're official?!" and all I see is how it made Ice lip slowly curves into a happy smile but shattered mine....like her smile is a hammer pounding my heart in the floor while mercilessly being beat down until it loses its heartbeat....
I bit the inside of my cheeks but the tears keeps on flowing no matter how I try to dry it.
And now my chest is hurting so damn much. It feels like something was ripped out from inside and leave me bleeding.....the lingering pain is indescribable, there is no explanation to say how much it painfully crashed from the inside.
I should be happy for her, for them, but how can I do that if her happiness means breaking me apart? And this lingering guilt is eating me alive, of how selfish my thoughts turned out....
And now my feet are backtracking....retrieving every steps until finding myself outside the parking lot with a lot of chest pain that I had to clutch my shirt, so it will prevent from aching....
Me: Vero, I'm going back home tonight.
I hit send after booking myself an uber on my way to the airport.
