ISABELLE

Chapter 10

I gave birth to our second son while I was still eight months pregnant. He was out one month earlier. The pain that I had was still very much unbearable. Although the baby was early, his weight was in full term. The whole process took me almost twenty hours. I had epidural this time but it kind of wear off when it was time to push. It hurts like hell. I was screaming in pain the whole time.

Nathan was not in the room when I was giving birth and I had no mood to bother where he went to. All I wanted was to give birth to a healthy baby and to stop all the pain.

His name is Ashton and he looks just like his brother.

I took a few more days to recover this time. I lost more blood while giving birth to Ashton. It does not matter, as long as he is healthy. I was very scared at first when my water bag broke. I was afraid that he hasn't grow well in my womb and was forced to come out one month earlier. I was relieved when I heard him cry out loud when I had my final push. He is a little smaller compared to Gerald but overall, he is still a healthy baby.

My milk supply came back and Ashton has been drinking well. This time, I do not need much guidance from Sandra. When they handed Ashton to me, I just placed my nipple near his mouth and he starts to suck.

It was so amazing; a little life grows for so many months in my womb and my breasts starts to produce milk once they were out. It makes me feel powerful to have the ability to bring them out to the world. I appreciate that I am given this chance to experience all these.

Nathan did bring Gerald to see me once while I was still bedridden; I do not have the energy to play with him. It makes me a little sad. Plus, Ashton is very clingy. He likes to be carried and when I put him down on the bed, he would wake up. I had to spend more time to pacify him.

I had begged Nathan not let Ashton leaves me. He had refused at first and he didn't give me a valid reason on why he would need to bring the boys away from me. I had tried my best to negotiate and we had come to an agreement that he will only bring Ashton away after six months. He had also agreed to bring the boys to visit me every week.

Since I have only six months, I tried my best to spend as much time I can with my son. I would carry him, feed him, bathe him and play with him. I had him sleep besides me every night. It was easier for me to breastfeed him too. I was glad I had this chance given to me, but I would feel sad at times when I look at Gerald. I didn't get to experience all these moments with him. I felt like I had owned him.

I had owned my boys.

Nathan would come to the house like usual. He is usually quiet and will just sit himself in one corner. I know he is here to see his son; therefore, I would carry Ashton and sit beside him. Sometimes, I would force him to carry his son.

I had stopped asking Nathan why he was keeping me here in this house. What was the point of knowing when I know that I wouldn't be able to leave him now. Not that I do not wish to leave this house, but the question now is how can I leave when I had two children with him already.

Is it even possible?

If I ever have the chance to leave him, do I really want to? I do not know. Firstly, I do not think I can abandon my children. They are my flesh and blood. Secondly, I think Nathan and I had grown closer to each other. He was not the same person when I first met him. He doesn't speak much, but I know he has been listening to me.

One night while Ashton is sleeping, he pulls me to the dark room. He had me chained up and his manhood was inside me. He was thrusting into me so hard that tears were brimming my eyes. He likes it rough and since giving birth to Ashton, I had never once rejected his advancement. In fact, I had let him has his way with me.

"Remember to pull out." I reminded him when I was about to come.

My only request for Nathan was that I do not wish to get pregnant so soon again. I know he wants to impregnate me again. He didn't say it out loud but my sixth sense told me that he wants to see me pregnant again. I do not know his motive and I cannot get anything out from his mouth.

Since the first time we had sex, he hasn't been wearing any protection and after giving birth, we had rough sex every time he comes to the house.

The first time we had sex after Ashton was born, he didn't listen to me and had spilled his seeds inside me. I was angry with him and had ignored him for a few days. But of course, he has his way with me. He had 'punished' me in the dark room and had sex with me until I couldn't walk.

That day, he had pulled out and had spilled his seeds on my chest instead.

"Open your mouth." He instructed.

He moves forward and straddled my upper body. He placed the head of his manhood at my lips and I opened my mouth. He gripped my hair as I sucked on his manhood. He fucked my mouth and soon I am swallowing his release.

Soon, Ashton is going to be celebrating his sixth month on this earth. I am happy that he is growing well. But in the meantime, I am sad that I am not able to hold him every day soon. I will miss him terribly.

I was very emotional that day when Nathan came to pick Ashton up. I had stayed in my room as I didn't have the heart to see him leave the main door. I cried for the whole day.

For the next few days, I had spent my free time on the treadmill. I am starting to feel the anger slowly emerging in me again. I need to find something to do, otherwise I will explode.

But on my eighteenth birthday, my anger vanished the moment I saw Nathan. He had brought the children to the house and we had a lovely dinner together. While we were eating, I had noticed something different. There's knifes appearing on the dining table.

For the past three years in this house, knifes were never on the dining table nor in the kitchen. I didn't bother to ask why.

I do not know why but I cannot believe I am actually happy to see a knife. Something must be wrong with me.

That night, we had sex for hours and I had forgotten to ask Nathan to withdrawn himself.

A month later, I was pregnant for the third time.

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