"And then what? You force me into clothes?" Diana nods. "Yes. Harry that's exactly what I would do."
"That's weird as fuck I can't lie." She groans. "Harry, you have a show to play, for Halloween. Which means you need a costume. You can either choose one or have one chosen."
"How about you shut the fuck yo and leave me alone." Louis smacks me across the head. "Don't be a dick Harry. What the fuck are you whining about?"
"She's making me do another show, but in a costume. Like a Halloween costume." He snickers. "Yeah I figured, what's the problem?"
"I fucking hate costume shows." He lets out a deep sigh. "That's really sad. Why don't you just wear something that's basically just normal clothes, like Tyler Durden? Look I'll help you with the first part."
"Which part?" I frown, Louis swinging at my eye sending me backwards. "Talk to her like that again Harry and I'll fucking kill you."
"Okay, okay I'm sorry. Jesus Christ ow." Diana huffs. "Thanks Louis. It's fine though. He's not usually that hostile with me."
"Doesn't matter. He's done it once and he can easily do it again." It was fair play. I would've done the same if it was the other way around.
"I'm sorry, Diana. Fuck- Louis, where the fuck was that when people were giving you shit?" He shrugs. "I'm sorry." Diana shook her head at me. "It's okay."
Pulling her into a tight hug, I kiss the side of her head. "It's not. I'm so sorry. Fuck I'm sorry." She hugged me back, thank fucking god. "What the fuck happened?" Zayn asked.
"I was being a dick and then Louis punched me. It was kinda hot actually, he yelled at me too." Louis rolls his eyes. Walking away shaking his head. "You're a fucking freak."
Maybe I have a problem. "Louis I'm sorry." I said, following behind him. "I'm not feeding into this Harry. I'm done." I stop in front of him, watching him tilt his head. "I'm sorry."
"I didn't mean to punch you. I just, I've seen things happen first hand. It starts with yelling then it goes into threats and then eventually you're in the news for abusing your kid-"
He went pale. I felt my heart stop, watching him go through about six different emotions.
"You wanna go for a walk?" I asked. I'm not adding to this, if he can't talk about it then he can't talk about it. "Yeah."
"Next time I drink how about I talk shit on your fucking life? Do you have anything? Other than how your dad paid off a bunch of homophobes to leave you alone."
"Woah, hey. You okay?" I nod. Pushing back my tears because there was no way in hell I would ever want to push this down and make it about me. "I'm fine. Come on."
Taking him hand, I walked slowly out into the street. Checking it about six times before I let us cross. "Did you want to get ice cream?" I asked. "Yeah."
I throw my arm over his shoulder, pulling him into a hug as I kiss the top of his head. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "For what?"
"I know how I work Louis, I know I've said shit to push your feelings away just to make you feel bad about mine. You don't have to talk right now, I understand that it's hard and I'm sorry, I'm not saying this to push us into some really depressing conversation. I'm saying this because I need you to know that you're safe if you ever need to talk."
He hugs me back, kissing my shoulder. "I also just, needed to apologise. I fucked up talking about things like you didn't have feelings and I will forever be trying to fix it. I'm sorry baby."
"We both sort of fucked up at some point. I'm not putting them on the same level because you didn't know, but I don't think either of us were really at a good point in our lives to, talk."
"Yeah. We'll get better, it'll be fine. You want the cherry vanilla?" He nods. Resting his head on my arm. "I'm sorry I hit you."
"No i needed it. I don't know what happened it was like, my dad. Maybe you were right." I was laughing but it terrified me. "You are not your father. I said that shit because I was drunk and wanted to fit in. You are your own person."
"I am my mother's son. Always." He pulls me back. Wiping the blood from my cheek. "I don't understand how you have dealt with both of them first hand and still have this crippling fear that you exactly the way they were."
"I can't explain it." He smiles. "I understand it. Tell me something, okay?" I nod. "Let's say, somewhere, down the line, you had a kid. You're in the kitchen, making food and they, knock a few glasses off the shelf and they shatter everywhere. What would be the first thing you do?"
"Pick them up and leave." He nods slowly. "Okay and, what next? After they've been checked and everything is fine with them, what happens after that?"
"I go and clean up the mess." He tuts. "Right and what your father did? What my father did? What do you think? Would you treat your kid the way they did? Would you yell at them? Force them to clean it with their hands?"
"No I guess not." He huffs. "Right so then, by that logic and really just, any logic at all. You are not your father, or your mother. You have her hair and his eyes, you have their last name. Everything in here," he pressed his finger to my heart. "Is yours. Everything you've done has been to protect your family and your friends."
"Why are you being nice to me?" He laughs. "I could've asked you the same question. Neither of us know what we're doing Harry. We do stupid things and then we fix it. I'm trying to fix my shit and you're doing the same. That's gotta count for something right?"
"Harry, you know that I care about you. Why are you acting surprised?"
"Okay what is happening? You keep almost passing out." I walked right into the door. "I'm fine. I'm fine." Oh god what the fuck is happening to me. "Clearly."
**
"You wrote a fucking song about me!" Louis yells like we were mid argument. "Oh my god. No way. Really?"
"No this is serious. You, Harry Styles, wrote a song about me." I gasp. Pressing my hands to my cheeks. "Why are you yelling?" Daisy asked. "He wrote a song about me."
"He's in shock. Give him a minute he'll get over it." Zayn came stumbling through the door, completely eating it as he rolled to the floor.
I smack my hands together. "Safe!" I yelled. Watching him look up at me fighting a smile.
"Also just to add to this little panic. He's written three songs about you." Zayn jumps up, kissing my nose. "Fuck you. No I'm not listening Tyler. I'm sick of your shit."
"Jesus Marz, what's with the stick up your arse today?" Louis asked. "You have a stick up your ass?" I whispered. "What? No I-"
"That's awful." She blinks at me. "Harry, it's an expression."
"What is?" Daisy seemed just as grossed out by it. "Who put it up there? That's awful."
"Oh my god. It's a metaphorical stick." She yells. "I do not have a stick up my ass."
"No she's just acting like a b-" Tyler's cheeks puff up. "I tried to find an alternative word for bitch but I can't."
"Has nobody ever said you had a stick up your ass? Like when you act like a dick, they've never said you had a stick up your ass?"
"No that's really strange. Are you serious?" I asked. "Yeah no that's really weird." Daisy said, scratching her head. "Oh my god. That's so weird. That was adorable though." Marz taps my nose. "Why was that adorable?"
"You've got a cute little puppy face when you're confused." I turned to Louis, to confirm her being wrong. But he nodded. "You're just- losing your scary side." Hero said.
"Maybe but at least my boyfriend being a twink has a reason. Yours is just a fucking twink because he can be." Tyler's jaw drops, Hero just stares at me. "Yeah. So fuck you."
