"When exactly are you going to tell him?" Tyler asked. "Tell who? What am I telling?"
"I mean you've been stood here drinking and staring at him for forty minutes so I figured we were on the same page."
"We're not even in the same library right now I can't lie. What's happening?" Louis waves at me and it all clicked. "Oh."
"Yeah. You just not planning on telling him?" I paused for a moment. "No," I answered quickly. "I'll die before he ever feels the same."
"Is that what you think?" I laughed. "That's what I know. Just, leave it alone. Please."
"Yeah. No okay. It's dropped. Oh god she's so pretty- Harry I think I'm gonna have a panic attack." He leans over, groaning really loud.
"Oh." I didn't know what to do. Louis was the one that helped with this type of thing. But now I'd remembered what I'd said so I can't talk to him for maybe three days.
"What's wrong? What happened to him?" Hero asked. "You caused this. Apparently you just look that good that you've induced him to a panic attack."
"What? No. What?" Tyler flys up, taking in a deep breath. "I'm fine. Hi my love."
"You okay?" He nods. "Mhm. My insides are on the outside and I feel my socks but I'm great. I'm so good, I'm actually perfect- I'm not good." Hero hides him in her arms, dragging him away. "What happened?"
"I think he's overwhelmed by everything." I turned to find Louis stood there. My eyes going wide. I didn't know who it was, I couldn't see a thing and I wasn't focused. "What?"
"Do what- what? You- no, not you do- you, and oh.. this is, bad." I cover over my face, screaming into my hands. "Do you need me to take you somewhere? Somewhere less crowded?"
"Dance with me?" He nods. "Okay." He takes my hand, walking me out into the middle of the room, the crowded room. The more people, the less likely I am to fuck something up.
Which is bullshit because I could fuck absolutely everything up right now.
I know that I love him, I don't know what that means but I know that I only feel this way with him and the movies made it seem like this.
So I'm in love.
But I don't know how to deal with it. Or how to make it normal.
Am I going to feel this way for the rest of my life? I'm fine with that, I'd just rather have a warning before it gets even worse.
I can't say anything yet, if I know it now and I feel it this much, then I have to wait. I have to find a time that I might be able to understand how he would go around it.
I need to figure out how he's going to avoid this. I have to figure out a way to get over this quick. But I think I'm too far out to do that now. "You okay?"
"Yeah." I'm getting hurting no matter how I go about this. My heart can't take it but I know it'll get easier, everybody says it will get easier.
The sooner I do it, the sooner he gets out of this shit deal he was given. "Harry you're dancing the pain away, which I know you find hilarious. But this is worrying to me."
"No I'm fine." He drags me away from the floor, sitting me beside him. "I just want you to tell me the truth right now okay, please."
"What did you want to know?" He pushes my hair back. "What is wrong?"
