Hollow | BxBxBxB

-1- Home Life

"Welcome. It's lovely to see you again Connor, take a seat" A woman with curly brown hair, clinical glasses and a kind smile glued to her face greeted gesturing to the seat opposite her.

Connor sat down scratching his nest of short black hair nervously and glancing around the office. This wasn't the one Debbie normally brought him into. Their normal therapy room was further down the hall and much more homely.

"How are you feeling today Connor?" Debbie asked kindly.

"Shit" Connor muttered back, Debbie nodded her head as if expecting the answer.

"What's been shit then? walk me through your week" She instructed him taking out a pen and notebook. That was one part of his therapy sessions Connor always hated. Everything being written down. It made him feel like a test subject who was just being observed for information.

"I ate too much" Connor replied shortly not giving much depth to his response. He instinctively put a hand to his skinny frame trying to feel for fat. He felt so obese sometimes. Then other times extremely underweight. It made no sense.

"I highly doubt that Connor. What did you eat?" Debbie questioned glancing at his hand then jotting some notes down.

"Toast yesterday, so Thursday, a chocolate bar on Tuesday, oh and also a cereal bar also on Tuesday. That wasn't a good day for me" Connor explained remembering over his week.

"And that's it?" Debbie prompted cocking her head to the side and gazing intently at Connor through her black rimmed glasses.

"Yeah" Connor confirmed nodding, his anxiety was beginning to spike like it always did during these sessions. He'd been diagnosed with a complex anxiety disorder from a young age. Along with depression more recently. Then there was his anorexia diagnosis as well.

"You do know that's not enough Connor, don't you? Never mind eating too much. You ate far too little" Debbie told him firmly.

"I know" Connor choked out feeling tears well up in his deep blue eyes.

"So why not eat more" Debbie challenged.

"I'm not allowed" Connor protested quietly.

Debbie nodded her head hurriedly writing notes down. "Did you collect your antidepressants from the doctors?" She asked.

"Yeah" Connor responded half heartedly.

"How have they been going? Any changes in mood at all?" She probed.

"I haven't been taking them" Connor admitted sheepishly.

"Why not?" Debbie questioned raising her eyebrows. She wasn't mad in the slightest just curious.

"Wasn't allowed" Connor repeated glancing away.

"You are allowed. You are allowed both food and medication Connor. No one should be deprived of those things" Debbie urged confidently.

Connor nodded in agreement but didn't budge. "What have you been doing with the anti depressants then? Instead of taking them"

Sighing Connor fidgeted anxiously. He'd been expecting this question but it still made him nervous. Due to his suicidal tendencies and young age he wasn't allowed to keep his own meds. So his mom kept them for him, he'd been secretly stashing them away every time after pretending to swallow them.

"Binning them" Connor lied quickly.

"So you're not stockpiling them?" Debbie questioned suspicion lacing her tone.

"Nope" Connor answered calmly. Debbie nodded believing him. Good.

"How have your family been, that was your older brother in the waiting room with you wasn't it?" Debbie pondered taking a sip of water from the cup she had rested bedside her.

"It was yeah, they're okay. We're getting a kitten in a couple weeks" Connor told her a small smile flickering onto his face. Animals were one of the few things that still made him smile, especially cats. He loved them.

"That's wonderful! What type of kitten is it?" Debbie said also smiling broadly.

"A Tabby" Connor answered nodding the smile still on his face.

"Very good. That's really exciting news" Debbie stated still smiling warmly. "Do you like cats then?" She added.

"Yeah, I'm allergic though. But yeah I adore them" Connor replied, this made Debbie chuckle slightly.

"I suppose your allergies get used to them over time?" She guessed. Connor nodded in confirmation.

"Have you thought any more about what we discussed last week?" She questioned her expression turning to a more serious one and her tone shifting to be extremely gentle.

"I still don't want to" Connor stated stubbornly. Last week it had been recommended he began inpatient treatment for his eating disorder because his weight, bmi and blood readings were getting extremely worrying.

"Okay, just know if it does get to a crisis point that decision may be taken out of your hands" Debbie reminded him. This made Connor scoff slightly. His anorexia wouldn't let it get to that point. It was there to help him lose weight, not to kill him. Killing him wouldn't benefit either of them.

The session lasted a bit longer with Debbie going over some food charts with Connor. She also encouraged him to remove the batteries from his scales which Connor assured her he'd do but he didn't actually plan on doing it.

He soon left the office heading back into the cramped waiting room. He spotted his brother sat in one of the chairs scrolling mindlessly on his phone.

Harry was a quite a few years older than Connor. Connor had only recently turned 16 where as Harry was 22. Connor was pretty sure he wasn't a planned pregnancy and his parents had only wanted one but they'd never confirmed his suspicions. Harry had the same deep blue eyes as Connor and also shared his black hair, though Harry's was styled much longer than Connors. He was also super athletic in build, where as Connor was extremely skinny.

The biggest difference between the brothers however was their sexuality. Connor realised when he was about 10 he was gay. Where as Harry was straight. Despite this Harry nor their Mom ever found it weird and accepted Connor without a second thought, unlike the bullies at high school.

"You done?" Harry asked gruffly standing up, pocketing his phone then placing an arm around Connor.

"Yeah" Connor answered shortly. They left the clinic promptly going straight to Harry's car.

"Want to grab McDonald's on the way home?" Harry asked hopefully.

Connor shook his head making Harry look disappointed. "It used to be your favorite though" he reminded Connor making Connor cringe at his past selfs indulgence in such fast foods.

"Things change" Connor countered fastening his seatbelt. "Let's go home"

"Sure thing buddy" Harry answered with a small sigh. "Session go okay?"

"Yeah" Connor lied. It had gone anything but okay really, he hated going to therapy with a passion.

"Do you think you're figuring the whole anorexia thing out now then?" Harry questioned.

"You're not my therapist Harry, stop interrogating me" Connor joked making Harry smile. Harry was one of the few people Connor felt he could crack jokes around and be his real self, the anxiety seemed to flutter away around Harry. It was also helpful when he needed to dodge a question, such as that one.

Harry took the hint Connor didn't want to talk and quietly turned the radio on. Pop music blared out of it drowning out the otherwise awkward silence as the car drifted slowly along the roads heading back to the safety of their home.