Hollow | BxBxBxB

-7- Leaving Home

Connor sat in his moms car watching the scenery fly by. He'd been discharged from the general hospital now and was headed home to collect his things.

Glancing in the mirror he spotted Simon Mercurys car trailing them still. Once Connor had gotten his things that'd be it. He'd get inside that very red car and not be able to go home for who knows how long.

"You okay, Connor?" Mrs Johnson asked quietly. He was grateful his family had fought so hard for him to not be sent to a general mental health facility. Golden Eagle still wasn't where he wanted to go though.

"I feel like...." Connor started but the words eluded him, how did he feel? Scared, yes. Anxious, yes. Suicidal, yes. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball on his own bed and cry himself to sleep, but he wouldn't be able to do that for a very long time now. Possibly years.

"Like?" Harry prompted from the backseat leaning forward slightly.

"Fine" Connor finished stonily earning a chorus of sighs from his family. It must make no sense to them, all he did. It didn't make much sense to him sometimes either.

They soon pulled up outside the familiar house Connor had known for so long, he'd never been away from his family at all, not even for school residential's, his anxiety wouldn't allow it.

Hopping out of the car Connor followed in the footsteps of Harry entering the house kicking his trainers off uncaringly.

His mom put the kettle on as Simon also entered. He smiled in a friendly manner at Connor who returned the gesture politely. He then bounded up the stairs to his room, as he entered a wave of emotions hit him all at once. This was his safe space. Soon it'd be unreachable, just a memory.

With tears pricking at his sapphire blue eyes, Connor began to pack, he took some money with him in case, but had to leave his phone behind. Simon had told him phones weren't allowed. As he began to pack clothes into his bag the bedroom door slid open with a soft creak.

Harry emerged entering the room. "Need a hand?" He asked Connor, though his voice seemed more subdued and defeated.

"Sure, thanks Harry" Connor replied timidly. The two brothers worked in silence stuffing Connor's bag full of his favorite clothes, books and other bits and bobs to entertain him whilst he was there. Once they were done Connor quickly zipped the bag up sighing heavily.

"Are you gonna be alright?" Harry questioned seriously standing in front of the door not allowing his little brother escape from this question.

"I don't know" Connor admitted quietly, this was the truth. He really wasn't sure what was going to happen at this troubled boys home, he didn't know if he'd get on with the other boys there. If he'd fit in. If they'd bully him, or if he could even begin to loosen the chains his anorexia had so precisely wrapped him up in.

"You better be, or else" Harry whispered with a small chuckle. Connor let out a fake smile at Harry's weak attempt at a joke.

Harry then leaned forward embracing Connor in a hug, this took the small boy by surprise as his big brother was about the least affectionate person he knew. "Good luck Connor, I'll come visit as soon as they let me, I promise" he vowed a small tear making it's way down his face. Connor nodded resisting the urge to cry too, he couldn't be weak in front of Harry like that.

"I won't get to see the kitten grow up" Connor muttered sadly, Harry let out a sympathetic sigh gazing down at Connor regretfully.

"I know, I'll take pictures of it growing up, you'll be able to look back at it still" Harry assured him.

"Won't be the same" Connor replied stonily. Anxiety was rushing through him like a river full of rapids. He picked his rucksack up slinging it over his shoulders before pacing out of his bedroom. He trotted slowly down the stairs knowing this would likely be the last time he'd be doing this in a while.

Mrs Johnson and Simon Mercury were waiting downstairs for him. As soon as Connor emerged round the corner his mother engulfed him in a big hug tears streaming down her cheeks, she planted a soft kiss on his forehead as tears continued to descend down her face

"Goodbye my darling, I love you so much. I hope you get the help you need. Look at me Connor" Mrs Johnson choked out between tears, Connor looked into her eyes feeling tears building up in his own. "You'll be fine. You'll be safe, but you need to put the effort in to get better, you don't want to live like this forever. I love you" she finished planting another kiss on Connor's cheek then backing away.

"Bye Mom, l-love you too" Connor whispered back quietly salty tears blurring his vision. He then followed Doctor Mercury out of the house not glancing back. As he stepped into the car he felt his stomach beginning to flip. This was so very terrifying. Connor was scared beyond anything right now but he couldn't let that beat him.

The car soon sped off away from Connor's home town, away from the place he'd grown up, heading towards his future. Golden Eagle.

Simon looked at him through the mirror gently before speaking up. "How are you feeling Connor?" He asked delicately.

"Fine" Connor mumbled back not making eye contact with him.

"That's a lie" Simon countered a small smile flickering onto his face.

"Mhm" Connor hummed not explaining himself.

"I'll explain a bit as I drive, is that alright?" Simon asked tentatively, Connor didn't reply which the vigilant doctor seemed to take as a yes. "It's basically just a normal house, except you can't leave. Everything sharp or dangerous will be locked away for your own safety, phones aren't allowed which you already knew. There are currently 3 other boys in the house. I can't share any details about them because of patient confidentiality, but I'm sure with time you will learn about them"

The doctor paused, focusing on the road for a second as he navigated through some traffic lights. "You don't have to be scared of any of them. They all have had difficult pasts and their own reasons for being at Golden Eagle, but in the end they are just like you. Struggling. So you don't have to be scared of them" Simon finished his little speech just as they entered the highway.

"What if they hate me?" Connor whispered back numbly.

"They won't, and even if they do they won't make an issue about it. It's a troubled boys home not the big brother house" Simon reassured him calmly.

"And regarding the eating side of things it is expected you begin to eat properly, but I recognise that will take time, there will be measures put in place to help you feel safer whilst having meals too" Simon told him.

"Mhm" Connor hummed, it was starting to really sink in now. He was going to a troubled boys home. Shy, quiet, weak, anxiety ridden Connor Johnson. Against boys who could be murderers, arsonists, psychopaths. He was gonna get eaten alive at Golden Eagle...