Hollow | BxBxBxB

-13- Opening Up

As he left the dining room Connor felt the familiar ache of anxiety deep within his stomach. He halted at the bottom of the stairs glancing up them pitifully. He'd much rather go to his room right now than be in the lounge socialising.

His gaze then shifted to the lounge itself, Alex was already in there chatting away with Liam who'd just joined him. Riccardo was meanwhile no where to be seen, he'd left first so maybe he was in his room too.

Deciding to go and find Riccardo, Connor dashed up the stairs. He could still hear laughter from downstairs as Alex cracked some sort of joke but chose to ignore it as he went along the corridor trying to find Riccardo's room.

'Bedroom 1 - Vacant' read the first door, that must be a spare bedroom for if there was another admission, Connor continued along the hallway looking up at the next door.

'Bedroom 2 - Liam Simpson' it read, so that was Liam's room. He strolled further along the long corridor passing bedroom 3 which was his own room, he then reached bedroom 4.

'Bedroom 4 - Riccardo Warren' This was the one. Gingerly Connor put his ear to the door trying to listen to see if the Italian boy was inside, he could hear vague footsteps from within so he hesitantly knocked on the door. Connor's knock was practically silent so went unnoticed by Riccardo from inside the room, sighing Connor knocked again, heavier this time.

The footsteps in the room suddenly halted and a voice came from behind it. "I'm not having them Simon! They aren't even helping" Riccardo called sounding on edge, his voice cracking with raw emotion midway through his sentence.

"I-it's Connor" Connor said back regretting knocking on the door, he felt like he was disturbing Riccardo's quiet time.

"Oh, come in" Riccardo said back and Connor obeyed entering the bedroom slowly. It was quite similar to his own, the same pale green walls. The furniture was arranged differently but that was to be expected. Posters lined the walls of different rock bands albums, along with this an electric guitar laid in the corner looking dusty as if it hadn't been played for some time.

"Hey" Riccardo whispered awkwardly, glancing up at the brunette Connor could immediately tell he'd been crying, it was a stark contrast to how he'd looked during meal time. He must've been bottling it all in.

"Came to see- see if you were okay?" Connor stated nervously as Riccardo paced back and forth in his room.

"I'm fine" Riccardo replied quickly before cupping his head in hands. "No I'm not" he added bitterly, he then slumped down on his bed hiding his face in his sweater.

Connor stepped over to him unsure how to console the brunette, he wasn't the comforting type so didn't know how to approach it at all.

"Do- do you need an ear?" He offered timidly sitting on the edge of Riccardo's bed.

"I don't want to burden other people with my problems" Riccardo countered sniffing sadly.

"Y-you're not a burden Riccardo, you're one of the nicest people I've ever met" Connor insisted smiling down at the boy, he really meant it too. Having only known Riccardo just over a week he'd warmed up to the boy incredibly fast. He loved the Italians company, his sweet gestures and quiet demeanour. The way he'd smile when he talked about his home in Italy. Connor really enjoyed spending time with him.

"It's a lot, let me know if at any point it's too much" Riccardo told him stonily, Connor nodded. It sounded like he was about to learn the reason this kind soul was at Golden Eagle. Connor wasn't sure he was ready to learn the truth about someone he'd grown so fond of over the past week.

"It's just so hard, like the memories, thinking about it all and what I could've done differently" Riccardo started sitting up in his bed and facing Connor, Connor nodded his head in understanding allowing Riccardo to gather himself before continuing. "I just wish I could turn back the clocks and never have said yes the first time, you know?"

"T-that must be hard" Connor replied resting his gaze sympathetically on Riccardo sending him a warm smile.

"Yeah, sorry I don't mean to be. I don't know" Riccardo replied shrugging his shoulders and wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Could you- explain what happened, if you feel comfortable" Connor suggested shyly. Despite his reservations about knowing why Riccardo had been admitted he couldn't really offer any sort of support to his friend without knowing the root of why he was upset.

Riccardo hesitated fear visible in his eyes. "I don't want you to think differently of me Connor" Riccardo choked out hugging his chest nervously.

"I won't" Connor insisted quietly. His heart rate was increasing at a speedy pace, Riccardo being this upset and the fear of his unknown reason for admission was making Connor extremely anxious.

"When I was 7, a man offered me some money if I took a bag from point A to point B. I was 7 and my parents rarely gave me pocket money so I said yes, I did it and I thought that'd be the end of it, but then the cops came knocking at our door, wanted to know if I knew some men. I said I did, it was the guy who I'd given the bag too" Riccardo explained before taking a breath, Connor nodded reassuringly offering his silent support to Riccardo.

"Then... then they found me again, beat me for snitching on them, told me they'd kill me if I didn't do what they said, so I did. I was scared. For the next 6 years I was basically the smuggler for them. Taking the drugs from one person to the next. But one day I was so fed up I decided not to take the delivery, I took it home instead- and I- I- I-" Riccardo paused bowing his head in shame as tears spilled from his chocolate brown eyes.

"It's okay" Connor whispered quietly, he then gingerly placed a hand on Riccardo's back rubbing back and forth to soothe the boy.

"Thank you" Riccardo choked out recomposing himself hastily clearly embarrassed at crying in front of Connor, he then continued his story. "I took the drugs in it, I sniffed the powder, injected some stuff, smoked some stuff. I got as high as a kite. It made all my problems go away for that short moment until the high wore off, from that moment on I craved it. Every delivery I was sent for I took a bit of the supply, just a tiny bit so they wouldn't notice. Mostly needles" Connor then held back a gasp as Riccardo pulled his collar down slightly to reveal circular red marks dotting his neck and upper chest. That must've been where he'd stuck the needles in.

Connor felt tears welling up in his own eyes at what the brunette had been through, he'd practically been forced into a drug cartel and gotten himself addicted as a way of coping. It was so awful, and to happen to such a gentle, sweet boy such as Riccardo too.

"Eventually my parents moved here, but I still needed my fix. So I started buying here too, doing runs to get some money, to buy more to get my fix. God... I couldn't stop" Riccardo admitted painfully.

"I'm so sorry" Connor blurted out. "You- you didn't deserve that Riccardo"

"I should've had the backbone to say no, but I didn't" Riccardo choked out through his sobs gripping his stomach in a tight hug.

"You were so young" Connor objected as Riccardo sniffled helplessly.

"They were so scary, so violent. They'd beat up people on the streets just for looking at them funny, if you crossed them you'd be found in a ditch on the side of the road missing a limb" Riccardo explained his eyes wide with fear as he detailed the violence he'd witnessed.

"You don't have to think about it now, you're safe here" Connor whispered back feeling his stomach churning for how much Riccardo was hurting.

"I overdosed one night, the night my parents found out, they found me on the living room floor, then I came here" He finished taking a deep breath.

Connor suddenly made a rash move. He reached over engulfing Riccardo in a big, warm hug. He remembered how much a hug had helped him when he was coming here and leaving home. The brief embraces from his mother and Harry had made him feel so much safer.

Riccardo cried bitterly onto Connor's shoulder wetting his t-shirt with salty tears. Connor just held on allowing Riccardo to open the floodgates on him.

In that moment, hugging the Italian he'd come to know so well. Connor realised something.

He had a crush on Riccardo...