Hollow | BxBxBxB

-21- Clearing The Air

Connor headed into the dining room feeling extremely nervous, more so than normal. Normally he'd be just nervous about the food aspect of lunch, but this time the social aspect was also plaguing him, however he hoped to remedy that by clearing the air with Riccardo after lunch.

Sitting down Connor sent a warm smile Riccardo's way, the brunettes eyes darted away hurriedly but he managed a small smile back. After what Liam had said Connor could definitely tell the way Riccardo was behaving wasn't out of malice towards him, but more as a way to not create tension between the boys. Even if it had done the complete opposite.

"Okay, let's start" Doctor Mercury ordered nodding at Connor specifically. Connor stared down at his plate of pasta unsure whether he could stomach it, he was already feeling so much anxiety he didn't want the pasta to end up coming back up due to that, it would be extremely embarrassing and also not very pleasant.

"Did everyone feel that earthquake at like 4 this morning?" Alex questioned glancing around the table.

"No" Doctor Mercury answered, Liam nodded whilst Riccardo and Connor shook their heads, Connor now had his fork in his shaking hands gripping it firmly, he needed to do this. He needed to get better. Liam was right, he needed to get back to his family whilst they were still there, because one day they wouldn't be.

"It felt like someone was shaking the fucking house" Alex supplied giggling slightly.

"The big bad wolf came to get the little piggies" Riccardo commented quietly with a small smile. This made Alex laugh again running a hand through his blonde and pink hair.

"Why were you even awake at 4am Alex?" Doctor Mercury asked narrowing his eyes at the boy.

"None of your business doc" Liam countered before Alex could reply, it was another oddly defensive remark from Liam relating to Alex. Maybe they were the others Riccardo wanted to ask? Maybe because they were dating in this house Riccardo wanted to ask them about what it was like? But that still didn't explain Ricky. Maybe Ricky wasn't real, maybe he was some kind of illusion Alex saw? Connor had so many questions yet so few answers.

"Don't be rude now, Liam" Doctor Mercury answered sternly sending a glare towards Liam, the tattooed boy glared back at the doctor with hostility but kept his mouth shut.

Alex looked between them grinning cheekily. "You two sound like my parents" he joked darkly making Riccardo and Connor burst out laughing, Liam shook his head a small smile simmering onto his face whilst the doctor just looked away disapproving of the gallows humour.

The rest of lunch continued on like normal, it was much friendlier and more relaxed than breakfast had been. Which was a relief to Connor, it made it easier for him to eat when tension wasn't splitting the air. He'd managed about half of his pasta at this point and was trying to have a bit more.

Eventually he put his fork down sighing in exhaustion. That had taken a lot out of him, he'd gotten 3/4 of the meal down. He just hoped it'd stay down. He followed the other boys out keeping his head down scared of what the old doctors reaction would be to him not completing.

As he left the room he spotted Riccardo starting to make his way up the stairs. "Riccardo!" Connor called softly exchanging a quick glance with Liam who gave him a thumbs up before following Riccardo up the steep steps.

The brunette waited at the top for him a nervous look plastered onto his face, he was biting his lip anxiously which Connor thought was actually kind of hot.

"C-can we talk?" Connor asked timidly. Riccardo nodded leading the way into his bedroom. Connor followed him watching as Riccardo took a seat on his mattress. Connor stood for a moment unsure where he should be sitting or if he should be standing.

Noticing Connors uncertainty Riccardo shuffled over patting the spot beside him.

Connor gratefully sat down staring into the brunettes brown eyes anxiously, he could see his own anxiety reflected back in the Italians eyes too, which brought him slight comfort.

"Are you okay?" Riccardo questioned quietly.

"Y-yeah, I just thought we needed to.. chat I guess" Connor answered scratching his head awkwardly, unsure how to approach this, it felt like when they'd first met but hurt way more.

"That makes sense I suppose" Riccardo responded nodding his head slightly.

Taking a deep breath Connor spoke. "Could we just forget what I said please? It's been playing on my mind so much and- and I just can't stand this tension and what's happening between us right now, I'm really sorry Riccardo I didn't mean to make things hard for you at all I- I wasn't thinking to be honest and-" Connor blurted out his words tumbling from his mouth faster than his brain could process, however he was interrupted by Riccardo placing a gentle finger on his lips.

Looking down at the finger Connor went silent his eyes meeting with Riccardo's. Tears were welling up in the brunettes eyes too but he nodded understandingly.

"Of course we can, I'm really sorry too. I shouldn't have been avoiding you and giving you the cold shoulder like I did. I guess I just didn't know how to respond to what you'd said, it's complicated in so many ways Connor, ways I can't even begin to explain" Riccardo told him softly his voice quiet.

"Try, I can listen" Connor whispered back, he'd caused a lot of unnecessary anguish for Riccardo so the least he could do was be there to comfort him in the aftermath of it.

Riccardo hesitated before shaking his head. "I'd rather not Connor, I'm sorry. I wish I could talk about it but... I'm just not ready to tell you yet. I'm really sorry" Riccardo replied guilt etching onto his features.

"It's okay, thank you for being so understanding, I really value you. Even as a friend" Connor told Riccardo shyly. A small blush appeared on Riccardo's face as he glanced away.

"You too Connor, thank you as well" He answered. The two then embraced in a small hug that Connor wished could've lasted forever. He always felt so safe when the brunettes body was pressed against his so warmly. The moment was over quicker than it had started however and with a quick wave goodbye Connor left Riccardo in peace. He paced back to his own room collapsing on the bed.

He definitely felt better for clearing the air, but deep down heartbreak was present. He's never be able to have the boy he'd fallen head over heels for, he just had to accept that, which was a lot easier said than done.