Hollow | BxBxBxB

-23- Wounds

Connor sat nervously in Simon's office for the second time that day, the sun was shining heavily down on them making the office like a sauna. It had gotten so hot Connor was now wearing a vest, which made him feel extremely self conscious but the heat was too unbearable. It made him worry a lot about Riccardo as well, he definitely needed to make sure the brunette was drinking enough.

"So" Doctor Mercury finally spoke looking up from his notes. "You've been on a full portion of breakfast for about a week now, how have you been finding it?"

"Easier than I expected, but really difficult still" Connor admitted quietly. Anxiety began creeping into his stomach as Simon mentioned the full portions.

"I know it might not feel like it, however you have been doing so well managing them. You should be proud of yourself" Doctor Mercury told him.

"I- I guess" Connor muttered back, he didn't really feel proud himself. In fact looking down at himself right now in this tight vest top it looked like his stomach had multiplied in size since he got here.

"How was your visit this morning? Was it nice to see your brother?" Doctor Mercury requested smiling at Connor.

Ripping his gaze away from his stomach Connor replied. "It- it was really nice yeah, thank you"

"I'm glad, so. You're still not at a stable BMI, that's going to take time. And it's going to require more change" Doctor Mercury told him stonily, shit. This was why he was here.

"N-no" Connor stammered tears filling his eyes. "I- I can't. Please!" He begged the salty liquid beginning to descend his cheeks as Doctor Mercury gazed at him kindly.

"Connor. I know it's hard, but like we've discussed before, it's necessary. We're still gonna be taking it slow, I'm not gonna throw you in at the deep end. Lunch will now be a full portion, that's it. Dinner will still be half, breakfast will remain as full, Lunch is the only one that's changing" Doctor Mercury explained his words soft and understanding.

"I- I'm sorry I can't" Connor whispered back glaring at his stomach furiously. He couldn't believe he'd let this happen. He was so fat now.

Noticing where Connor was staring the doctor spoke again. "Connor, look at me please" he said calmly, Connor took a second then met the doctors gaze his vision blurry from the tears. "You're not fat. You just aren't seeing yourself the way everyone else does, to me. You're underweight. To everyone else, you're underweight. It's only you that sees yourself overweight. It's what your eating disorder wants you to see so it can keep control" Doctor Mercury told him urgently.

"I- I'm sorry" Connor stuttered back unable to keep the eye contact as he sobbed.

Doctor Mercury shuffled over taking Connors hand softly. "You have nothing to be sorry for, this is why I'm here. I'm on your side no matter what, even if you hate me for what I do that's fine, I'm not here to be liked I'm here to get you better, so trust me Connor, take a breath, and then let's get prepared for lunch, okay?"

Connor nodded trying to control his breathing, he was safe, he'd be fine. Once he'd calmed himself down he left the office leaving the doctor in there by himself.

Still feeling extremely heightened Connor decided to go and see Riccardo to try calm himself down, the brunette always seemed to know what to say.

Knocking hesitantly on Riccardo's door Connor awaited a response, but he heard nothing. He must've knocked too quietly.

Anxiety filled his stomach again as he considered his next move. Connor hated when this happened, he'd obviously knocked too quietly for Riccardo to hear.

Taking a deep breath Connor knocked again this time louder. However once again he didn't hear a response, not even movement. "Riccardo?" Connor called out softly, still no response.