Hollow | BxBxBxB

-5- Bright Lights

Connor as usual awoke bright and early the next morning. The rain from the previous day had passed now leaving in it's wake damp paving slabs and muddy grass. This however didn't bother Connor. He was quite versatile when it came to stepping outside. All he needed was a jacket to shield his skinny frame from the frosty morning breeze then he'd be fine.

As he slipped on his trainers he felt his vision start to blur. He hadn't had a drink since yesterday evening so that made sense. Steadying himself he sat down on a chair to quickly tie his shoelaces. Once that was done he was good to go.

Setting off at a steady pace Connor enjoyed the little things around him. The birds chirping, the leaves rustling. It was all very calming to him. He felt like he could feel his heartbeat louder in his chest than normal but paid it no mind as he jogged down the street heading towards his usual route. This time he was hoping not to run into Jasper or anyone else from the college for that matter, Jasper still hadn't texted him about meeting up which on one hand made Connor feel a bit lonely. On the other hand he was relieved he wasn't plunged into a social situation he couldn't handle.

Speeding up his pace slightly he exited the quiet streets of his neighbourhood and entered onto the main road. He jogged steadily along the sidewalk making sure to stick to the left side of the path so he wouldn't be in the way of bike riders. They weren't a common thing to see around these parts but occasionally people rode out on their bikes.

As he passed a stop sign he glanced behind him seeing no sign of anyone else around. However as he turned his head back his vision began to blur. He halted immediately gripping the post of the stop sign and breathing heavily. The road and cars whizzing by were spinning around. He couldn't even tell where he was stood anymore.

Connor took a deep breath trying to calm himself as he gripped the metal post for dear life. A shrill, high pitched ringing was filling his ears as a feeling almost like pins and needles enveloped his body. In that moment he knew it was going to happen, he knew he'd gone too far this time. Taking one last shaky breath Connor felt his body falling backwards, his vision went black and pain seared through his arm as he landed on the concrete falling unconscious lying there as still as a statue on the cold, damp sidewalk.

...

Connor shot open his sapphire blue eyes suddenly, he could feel something sharp in his arm but didn't know what it was yet. He gazed around the room he was in taking everything in. It was definitely a hospital. The walls were painted a boring shade of beige and the lights were fluorescent and blinding. It also had the classic clinical hospital smell that Connor dreaded ever reaching his nose again.

Seeing he was awake a woman wearing scrubs walked over to him with a warm, comforting smile etched onto her face.

"Afternoon sweetie, how are you feeling?" She asked kindly crouching down to be at Connor's eye level.

"Where am I?" Connor answered quietly, scared to even make eye contact. He could his chest tightening with anxiety.

"You're in hospital sweetie" The nurse answered calmly. "Am I okay to ask you a few questions?" She added keeping the smile on her face whilst staring intently at Connor.

Connor nodded staying quiet. He could feel his breathing quickening. As he glanced down he spotted what the sharp pain in his arm had been. It was an iv poked deftly into his veins. They were drip feeding him water.

"Stop! Stop, get it out" Connor whispered tears filling his eyes as his vision fragmented into wet kaleidoscopes.

"What's your name sweetie?" The nurse asked still remaining tranquil.

"Connor" He stuttered back breathing fast. "Get it out! You're gonna ruin everything" he begged.

"I can't do that Connor sweetie" She told him her voice steady, Connor was getting a bit annoyed at being called sweetie at this point but he couldn't really focus on small details like that. They were forcing his weight up by filling his body with water.

"Take it out or I- I will" Connor threatened his voice laced with fear. His pitch was high and he was clearly terrified. As much as he meant his threat it didn't sound very threatening whatsoever coming out of his trembling lips.

"Connor, you're very dehydrated, severely underweight and malnourished. I can't take it out for your own safety. How old are you?" The nurse replied her voice becoming firmer. It was clear the iv wasn't coming out.

"16" Connor stated trying to relax his breathing.

"Okay sweetie. What's your full name?" She asked.

"Connor Johnson" He whispered back counting the seconds between each breath to try and slow it down. He was having marginal success but it was better than landing himself into a full blown panic attack.

"Date of birth?" The nurse inquired calmly.

"13th of April" Connor answered timidly, he'd managed to gradually slow his breathing down.

"Are you feeling calmer now?" The nurse said.

Connor just nodded. She then ripped the paper out of the clipboard she'd been taking notes on handing it to another nurse that was waiting patiently at the door. He took it, glanced over it then nodded walking away.

"Connor, do you have a diagnosed eating disorder?" The Nurse asked calmly.

Connor didn't reply, he just stared at his hands unsure what to say.

"Maybe that was a loaded question, I'll be more specific. Do you have bulimia?" She reworded the question. Connor shook his head. "Anorexia?" She asked, this time Connor nodded.

The nurses eyes filled with sympathy as she nodded as well. "Your next of kin is being notified and will be on their way. Then we're going to assess you. Would you like to know any details about this assessment or admission? You are entitled to be made fully aware of what's happening right now" she explained.

"Y-yes, please" Connor replied his voice small. This was what he'd feared. Being hospitalised and force fed. Having calories and calories and calories worth of junk food stuffed down his throat whilst chained to a bed. That's what they'd do to him. He couldn't let that happen.

"So, you will be assessed by a team of mental health and physical health professionals. If they think it necessary they will section you under the mental health act. Do you understand that?" She told him calmly.

Connor nodded his head bitterly tears clouding his vision again. "W-what happens if I am" he asked his lips wobbling as he spoke.

The Nurse sighed gazing sympathetically at Connor. "I'm not sure sweetie, that would be up to them to decide, not me. But it would mean you would be staying in a hospital, most likely a long term mental health facility" she explained.

"Okay, thank you" Connor whispered nearly choking on his own words, the nurse then handed him a sheet of paper with the names of everyone in the meeting.

"It will be chaired by Doctor Simon Mercury, he knows a lot about mental health and eating disorders in adolescents so I promise we'll get you the help you need sweetie, okay?" She told him.

"Y-yeah" Connor answered trying to process all of the new information. There was going to be a psychologist, a general doctor, a mental health therapist, then this other doctor. Plus any relatives that he permitted to be allowed in. That was a lot of intimidating people. All analysing him and potentially choosing to lock him up then throw away the key. "Can- can my therapist be there?" He asked quietly

"Of course, the meeting will be tomorrow so as long as she's free she's more than welcome to join. It would be helpful to have a more inside perspective. Thank you for allowing that Connor" The nurse answered kindly.

Connor shook his head feeling tears welling up in his eyes. They'd probably found him on the side of the road just passed out. They could've left him. Walked by without paying any attention to the pathetic boy lying still on the paving stones. He'd have been fine.

"If you need anything press the red button there sweetie and a nurse will be with you as soon as possible. Your next of kin will have been notified as well so you should expect them shortly" The nurse explained to him standing up.

She then walked out of the room giving Connor one last kind smile. As soon as she'd left Connor felt tears welling up in his eyes. This didn't feel real. He couldn't quite believe he'd ended up in hospital. The one place he wanted to avoid at all costs, yet here he was.