Straight as Guitar Strings

chapter 34 [tag/fil]

"LIAM, is there something wrong?" tanong sa'kin ni Leo, hawak pa rin ang kamay ko.

Hindi ako sumagot. Sinubukan kong alisin ang kamay ko sa pagkakahawak niya pero hinigpitan niya lalo ang pagpiga niya.

"Will you please talk to me? Let me understand you," he continued. I could feel kung gaano siya naaapektuhan sa ginagawa kong pag-iwas sa kanya.

"No need. Please let me go, Leo." Noong una ay ayaw niyang bumitiw pero nang makiusap akong muli ay naramdaman kong lumuluwag ang paghawak niya sa'kin hanggang sa tuluyan na niyang binitiwan ang kamay ko.

Ang lahat ng atensyon ng Libertians ngayon ay nasa itaas kung saan nila matutunghayan ang hinihintay na fireworks o 'di kaya'y ang paghanap sa magandang pupwestuhan kung saan matatanaw ng mas maganda iyon kaya walang masyadong nakapapansin sa'min dahil ang lahat ay abala at may kanya-kanyang mundo.

"You rock earlier. Nice performance," I said, waving him a goodbye and finally turning my back to walk away. I need to leave.

But then he called my name again, this time, I could hear the growing pain in his almost cracked voice. It felt like my heart was piercing with so much pain, I wanted to cry because I knew to myself that I'm hurting too.

This wasn't what I wanted, but I knew this was the right thing to do.

"Liam!" he called for the third time, and that was the moment I decided to stop walking away from him.

I turned around, facing his direction, but I found out that he was not looking at me anymore because Colleen showed up out of nowhere and suddenly pulled Leo towards her, cupping his face in her hands and sealing his lips with a tight kiss.

I stood there, watching the man I secretly love kissing his girlfriend.

It was as if the stars disappeared from the sky, the lone moon lost its beauty, and the night lost its meaning. All that remained was the pain I felt as I watched them kiss right in front of me, clear as day. It was clear as day, as clear as the truth that I needed to stop this delusion, that I would gain nothing from Leo... I would never have him.

He has a girlfriend, and he's straight. It's unlikely that he would ever like me.

To ease the pain, let me just put it this way. Whatever happened between us? It was nothing, just normal. Everyone went through a confusion stage. Nothing romantic, nothing else.

Tila nasemento ang mga paa ko sa kinatatayuan ko, hindi makagalaw at habang pinapanood ko sina Colleen at Leo na maghalikan ay biglang lumitaw si Johann sa harap ko dahilan upang matakpan niya ang masakit na view na nakikita ng mga mata ko.

Matapos niyang tumayo ro'n ay ngumiti siya, tila lumiwanag ang kalangitan; animo'y sa pamamagitan ng kanyang pagdating ay napanumbalik niya ang kahulugan ng gabi. Muling bumalik ang kagandahan ng nag-iisang buwan at kumikinang nang muli ang mga bituin sa kalangitan.

I appreciate what he had done. At least, it lessened the pain that I'm feeling inside. I didn't see them anymore at ang nakikita ko na lang ay ang kanyang maamong mga mata, maaliwalas na mukha at ngiting nakagagaan nang pakiramdam.

Without realizing it, the fireworks suddenly lit up the sky with dazzling colors, painting the night with bursts of gold, blue, green, and red. The crowd below cheered and gasped as each explosion filled the air with crackling sounds.

Masaya ang lahat maliban sa'kin, but that's okay. Nilapitan ako ni Johann, he took my hand as he pointed up the sky. As we looked up and watched the fireworks, I didn't notice my tears were already streaming down my face.

Binitiwan ko ang kamay ni Johann na humahawak sa kamay ko para punasan ang mga luha ko. I heard him saying that it will be okay, and I hope so, then he gently pulled me towards him, wrapping me in his arms with a tight hug.

Right after the mesmerizing fireworks display of Libertad University's Founding Anniversary, time seemed to fly, and before we knew it, we were standing on stage at the Regionals University Battle of the Bands. The familiar faces of my bandmates—Leo, Grace, Chase, Aki, and Johann—surrounded me, each of us eager and ready to give our all.

As the music began to play and the spotlight shone down on us, I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. With every chord strummed and every lyric sung, we poured our hearts into our performance. And as the final notes faded into the air, the cheers of the crowd washed over us, signaling our victory. It was a moment of pure triumph, one that I'll never forget.

Pagkatapos ng awarding, bumalik kami sa holding room kung saan kami nakatambay kanina kasama ang iba pang students from other universities noong hindi pa nagsisimula ang contest.

We took pictures and then binuhat namin si Sir Richard after namin mag-group hug. We thanked him and he said he's very proud of us. Para siyang tatay na masaya sa pagkapanalo ng kanyang anak. Sobrang ingay namin at samu't saring bati at puri ang natanggap namin sa mga musicians na kasama namin from other universities.

Muli kong na-feel 'yong pakiramdam na champion... winner gan'yan, hindi talunan. Sana gan'to rin ako sa pag-ibig.

After the chants and noises, Sir Richard announced something, tumungtong siya sa isang armchair tapos sinabi niya that we would be having a victory party sa Libertad Hotel, ang lahat ay invited at sagot lahat ng University President namin ang food, drinks and everything!

Everyone's in a bliss. They screamed at the top of their lungs!

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The victory party exuded an aura of sophistication, with an open stage beckoning to performers na kami-kami lang din naman at ang ibang delegates, may band instruments do'n na naka-ready sa mga gustong mag-perform.

As I looked around, I saw a sea of students, each one brimming with joy, regardless of their band's placement in the competition. It was heartwarming nga naman talaga na makita ang lahat, sama-sama sa isang celebration like this and the air was alive with the sounds of laughter and music, but it's not enough para mapawi ang lungkot na nararamdaman ko.

As the cheers and applause filled the air, we, Libertadlibs was invited to the center stage for a toast and speech in honor of our victory. Stepping up to the microphone, we were greeted by a wave of excitement and admiration from our fellow students. Si Sir Richard ang nanguna and then sumunod kaming nagbigay ng short speeches. We raised our glasses high, toasting to the fruit of our hard work and dedication.

Pababa na kami ng stage at naalala ko 'yong usapan namin ni Laura bago ang laban namin. Napaisip ako. Handa na nga ba ako? Aaminin ko na ba kay Leo? For what? Para alam lang niya? Yeah, nothing else.

My confession would might as well mark as my goodbye dahil after kong sabihin ang totoo sa kanya, possibly tonight, ay hindi na ako muling manggugulo pa o mag-e-exist sa buhay niya. Wala na siyang magiging rason para ma-confuse pa sa kung ano talaga siya.