Moonsland (EN)

Emily (XIV)

  I shiver as soon as I reach the garden. I feel like crying, but there are too many people here and it would be embarrassing, so I hold it together as long as I can.
- Is everything all right?" asks Lis.
- Hello, I was just getting some air. It's very hot in there. - I say, forcing a smile.
- Don't lie to me, friend, I know you. I know when you're bad. You've been like this ever since that crazy Paul whispered in your ear.
- Yes, I am, my friend. - I say, hugging her and letting out a tear. - He told me that he accidentally went into a room and saw James and Amy curled up.
- Impossible! - he tells me, wiping away a tear with his thumb. - Didn't you tell Amy you liked him?
- I told him and that's what pisses me off. That bitch knew and threw herself at him. - I say, feeling my body burn with anger.
- But James liked you too, didn't he? You were progressing very quickly. - ask me.
- I thought he liked me as much as I liked him, but apparently, I was wrong. They're all the same, in the end they just want sex.
- Don't say that, you'll find someone who really deserves you. Now let's enjoy the party.
- I'm sorry, I can't. Will you take me home, please?
- Sure, it's quick. I'll take you and come back. - she tells me, walking off hugging me.
As we pass Lisa's boyfriend, Ron, they stare at each other and I hear Lis whisper:
- I'm taking her home. I'll be right back.
- What's going on? - Ron asks, louder.
- I'll talk to you later, okay? - she says.
  As we head towards the car, we see James walking away from the party in the opposite direction. He's walking fast, while constantly looking at the ground and intensively scratching his thumb with the index finger on his right hand, a nervous tic I'd already seen him have. It doesn't make sense for him to be leaving the party so nervous, in theory there's nothing going on between us and he was enjoying himself. I wonder what happened upstairs. I ask myself this because the longer I think about it, the more I come to the conclusion that Paul lied to me. He always liked me, even after I broke up with him because I didn't feel the same way he did. It could just be a ploy to separate me from James, since we're getting closer and closer, but if that's what it was, why didn't James come to me and look at me with a guilty face?
- Emi, are you coming? - Lis asks me from inside the car.
- Yes, I saw James going that way. - I say, pointing ahead, already inside the car.
- Did he leave the party? - she asks in amazement.
- Apparently. - I say, equally amazed. - Follow him.
- What?
- Follow him! - I order, slightly louder.
- You're crazy, do you know what he might do if he sees us? His parents could break up with us in two seconds. - tell me.
  Suddenly, a car speeds past in the opposite direction. It's him.
- Please. - I beg Lis, touching her arm.
- Okay, let's go. - He sighs, and reverses as quickly as he can.
  We're in a residential area and Lis is going seventy kilometers an hour on the straights, trying to get closer to James. Luckily, today I've brought my mother's Audi, which can fight James' car.
  I quickly begin to realize the path we're taking. It's the way to my house. What's he doing there? He knows I'm at the party.
  When James starts to slow down, I tell Lis to stop the car a little way away so he doesn't realize he's being followed. Probably in vain, and he came to my house because he realized we were following him. We wait a few minutes and see James getting out of his car. He's still nervous, which isn't surprising, knowing that I've seen him drive like crazy and almost have an accident. He starts walking along the stone path that connects the sidewalk to my door. What's he doing? He turns back so suddenly that we are startled and duck down at an astonishing speed. When we look again, he's going around in circles and heading towards my house and back. After a few times of doing this, he sits on a step and stares at a specific point as if hypnotized. As I know he won't leave until I arrive, I walk over to him and pretend I've just arrived by chance. Behind me, I hear a whisper from Lis saying 'What are you doing? Come back! Now it's too late.
- James? - I call out, pretending to be surprised.
- Emily! - Stand up. Now I need to look up slightly, to look you in the eye. - We need to talk.
  My decision was made in the short time I had to think about it. In my last few relationships, I ended up getting hurt a lot, because I always trust people too quickly, believing that they mean well. Now it's going to be different, you'll be guilty until proven innocent. Maybe I'm being unfair, but I'm not going to risk trusting again.
- No, we don't need to, James. Not today or now. I don't know what happened or what you're doing here, but right now I just want to lie down.
- But...
- Don't insist. Go home and we'll talk tomorrow.
- All right, then. If that's what you want. - he replies, turning away. - Good night.
- And... James? - I call him. I forgot to tell you something.
- "Yes?" he replies, turning his face to me.
- Take it easy, okay? Text me when you arrive... to let me know you're okay and stuff.
- I will, good night. - He says goodbye and gets into the car.
  Right now, I feel like crying rivers of water. I hate being cold to people, but I really have to stop blindly trusting men I don't know well. I had to show that there are limits. In the end I admit I couldn't resist; he was driving too dangerously.
  I look at Lisa's car and... she's gone. She's texted me to say she's gone and wants to know what's new. I don't look at her so she doesn't bother me. I'll talk to her tomorrow. Now I just want to curl up in my incredible sheets and on my pillow that knows me better than any friend I have.