{1} Princess - P. Jackson 🔱

"I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go."

🌊

She left.

And with her my fucking heart went.

Okay, I know this sounds cliche, but let's understand my side.

She fucking kissed me. Like, full mouth to mouth thing. I had her right there in my arms, my hands fitting perfectly on her waist and I still can't forget how soft her lips are and the mixed taste of cupcake and coca-cola.

Every night before I sleep, my body chills with goosebumps over the feeling of her hands in my hair. How they trailed down my neck, my shoulders, my chest, and finally rested on my face.

I hate her.

My birthdays along the years were always messy. When I was younger it was because of Gabe being the asshole he was, interrupting and making me feel bad on my own day. My mom always did anything to see me happy and I am so grateful for having her.

Then it got a little better since he left to pursue his career as a statue, not getting better in a whole because each year I get older the damn prophecy comes near.

I was starting to hate my birthday.

My mom was happy with Paul, he treated her the way she deserved and even though I always kept a certain distance from him, analyzing his intentions, I was happy since my mom was happy.

But then she came and fucked everything.

She called me Percy. She brought me a blue cupcake. She was the first one to give me a happy birthday.

And her present was a kiss.

Another kiss.

I don't understand. She pushes me away but then comes like a punch in the face. Saying that I'm a problem to her and a pain in the ass, but she held onto me like her most precious thing all the time. With her delicate hands around me, hugging me tight.

She begged me to not leave her, to not let go of her and even if I tried to keep my distance I stayed with her. I came back to her.

But she left.

That made me so angry. I hated her, really hated. Since the beginning I didn't like her, but as we grew up everything changed.

She started to look so beautiful, so annoyingly good to be with. And as these feelings started to grow inside of me, consuming my fucking breath every time she was around, she pushed me away but never let go of my hand.

One month passed and she didn't even call. I was determined to forget her. I had to, since she wouldn't come back to me anymore.

Annabeth and my mom said that I was too aggressive, going back to the peaks of angriness I had when little. I wonder why. It's not my fault if people ask for it, saying stupid things all the time, acting like an idiot and provoking me. If they ask, I'll answer.

Then she called.

If you take a look at her you would say that she was fine, but if you pay attention to her eyes? That glow she always had, that happy glimmer shining at everything she would do, the one I started to like to see every time she talked to me. That disappeared, it was gone.

I thought of talking to her. I wanted to talk to her. But then there was this guy behind her. I want someone to explain to me who the fuck was him and why was he shirtless. Why was she with him? Was she playing with me this whole time? Is this for that thing the Aphrodite cabin does? I thought she would be different like Silena, who's dating Beckendorf and they look so in love with each other.

I admit I didn't stand seeing that, I had to leave the room or I don't even know what I would do. Maybe I would punch something, maybe my bathroom would explode again or maybe I would just start crying.

My mom didn't say anything, she just sat beside me on the couch and waited until I calmed down.

That night I couldn't sleep. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her through that message. So I sat by the fire escape, my feet hanging in the air but this time with only the ghost of her pressing her shoulder against mine.

And then there are songs I cannot listen to without hearing her. I wanted to punch my neighbor's face for putting 'Happier' by Olivia Rodrigo with her window open.

Thank you, really, you just increased the need to throw myself out of there.

With time, I started to get better. Well, better at forcing myself to go back to my normal.

New Year's came and brought the snow with it. Annabeth spent it with Gabriel's family since he passed Christmas with her family. Maria's Aunt came by but for the first year she spent it at her new boyfriend's house and I was left alone with my mom and Paul.

Who, by the way, were happily engaged.

A week later Annabeth Iris messaged me saying that Maria sent her a picture. I didn't want to see it but Annabeth being the way she is, forced me to. She sent it to my mom's email.

And there she was, looking so beautiful with a white long skirt hanging low on her hips, the piercing on her belly button reflecting with the flash from the camera, a strapless white top with gold jewelry along a bracelet in wave form on her arm. Her blonde hair was thrown to the side just like she used to do at school. Standing by the balcony showing a big smile with fireworks behind her, she looked amazing.

She looked so beautiful it was almost a crime to look at her.

It was kinda awkward going to the store with that pen drive. The girl who worked there was a little older than me and she kept smiling while printing a copy.

"Is that your girlfriend?" She asked, her smile growing as she counted the money I gave her.

"No, just a friend." I fixed my posture, crossing my arms.

"Your friend is really pretty," She got the copy and put it inside of an envelope, handing it to me with the receipt.

"I know" I pursed my lips, wishing her a good afternoon.

Having that picture inside my wallet made me feel a little bit better, taking her with me everywhere I would go.

Rachel started to be a distraction for me, not that I was using her in any way, but her company started to make me feel normal again. She was only my mortal friend, showing me the essence of having a normal life.

I didn't forget her, but for a while she started to go to the back of my mind as I forced myself not to think.

Oh, no, our boy 😭😭
A lot of mixed feelings, right?