Beneath the Stars (UNDER REVISION)

40

TW: Death.

Well, those were nice memories.

I could still feel each moment as if I went back in time and experienced those for the first time.

Nostalgia crept up inside me.

How I really wish that I could turn back time.

"Estrella? Estrella?"

I couldn't speak nor open my eyes. Ang naririnig ko lamang ay ang boses ni Leandro na tumatawag sa akin.

"Baby, please wake up!"

How badly I wanted to move a muscle and to assure him that everything is fine... that I am fine.

Halos wala akong maramdaman.

Am I paralyzed?

Is this really the end?

Am I dying?

I could hear him cry.

Please don't cry... I am okay... no need to worry about anything, baby...

Maayos naman kami kanina sa beach, binigyan niya pa nga ako ng singsing and we vowed to each other.

But did those really happen? Or was it just my mind playing with me?

Why now?

The moment I closed my eyes... naging ganito na. My body got paralyzed.

Tumahimik muli ang paligid. Wala akong ibang marinig kundi ang makina lamang ng sasakyan. I can't open my eyes, speak, nor move a muscle. I was like a rotten vegetable that could only hear sounds around me. I can't also feel physical touch.

"Shit. Drive faster, Thiago!"

"I'm trying, Kuya!"

Are they bringing me to the hospital?

"Baby, kumapit ka lang, please... hindi pwede... hindi ka pa pwedeng mawala sa'kin..." I could hear how his voice broke.

"Estrella naman oh... lumaban ka... malapit na tayo sa hospital, magiging maayos din ang lahat..."

Atleast I already told him what I wanted to say, right?

Somehow, there was a part of me that knew... I knew that this was going to happen... I just didn't know that it was that soon.

Dr. Malik told me that once I will accept the surgery, all my memories would vanish. Isa iyon sa mga side effects and I didn't like that one bit.

Hindi ko kaya...

Para na rin akong namatay no'n.

So that was why I started getting whole flashbacks about my entire life. Parang bumalik ako sa nakaraan at parang totoo lahat ng 'yon, para akong nag-time travel.

In the end, it was just all memories that my brain had recalled.

Pagkatapos ng lahat ng 'yon, naging ganito na ako. It was as if those memories were my final gift... na mabuti nalang ay binigyan ako ng pagkakataon para maalala ang mga iyon...

Kaya pala, kaya ako nasasaktan sa tuwing sinasabi ni Leandro sa akin na gusto niyang pakasalan ako at gusto niyang tumanda na kasama ako... kasi hindi pala magiging totoo 'yon at nasasaktan ako para sa kaniya.

My heart knew while my mind was in denial.

Kung itinuloy ko ba iyon ay may mangyayaring milagro? I don't think so... I chose the past, not the future. I treasured those memories I got to spend with my loved ones instead of making new ones with them.