「 ✦ Bambi- Bellamy Blake ✦ 」

Alexithymia

the inability to express your feelings

Athena held both her hands up, taking a step back. "Not me," she stated firmly, refusing to touch any of the guns. Despite her fear of Grounders, she was staunchly against using firearms herself.

Bellamy turned to Clarke, seeking her opinion. "Clarke?" he prompted, awaiting her response.

Clarke seemed to relent, her expression reflecting resignation. "Look, I'm not gonna fight you on bringing guns back to camp. I know we need them, but don't expect me to like it," she conceded, voicing her reluctant agreement.

Athena couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in her chest as she observed the intimate exchange between Clarke and Bellamy. Each movement felt like a dagger twisting in her heart. She took a step back, trying to give them space, but it only seemed to magnify her sense of isolation.

Clarke's voice pierced through the heavy silence, her question hanging in the air like a delicate thread. "So I just hold it on my shoulder?" she asked, her fingers tightening around the grip of the gun.

Bellamy moved in behind Clarke, his touch sending shivers down Athena's spine. His hand lightly grazed Clarke's shoulder as he adjusted her stance, his proximity igniting a fire of jealousy within Athena. "Yeah, just a little higher now, that end," he instructed, his voice low and husky.

Athena's grip on the blanket tightened until her knuckles turned white. She watched as Bellamy guided Clarke, his movements smooth and confident.

"Yeah, uh, that's good," Bellamy stuttered, his gaze momentarily flickering towards Athena. She felt exposed under his scrutiny, her heart pounding painfully against her ribs. Did he like Clarke? The thought gnawed at her, filling her with a bitter taste of resentment.

As Bellamy focused on Clarke, Athena's attention drifted to his failed attempts at shooting. She couldn't help but let out a bitter chuckle as his bullets missed their mark, a stark contrast to his usual proficiency.

Bellamy's gaze met hers, his eyes searching for something she couldn't name. She held his gaze, the unspoken tension between them crackling in the air like electricity. 

Athena quickly averted her eyes, attempting to divert Bellamy's attention. "Clarke, try again," she urged, hoping to shift the focus away from herself. "That was amazing. Ha! Am I horrible for feeling that?" Clarke laughed out loud as she fired her first shot.

Turning around with a smile, Clarke looked at Athena, whose smile mirrored her friend's, lacking genuine warmth.

"Bambi, give it a shot," Bellamy encouraged, his smile encouraging. However, despite Athena's attempt to shake off her unease, the bitter feeling in her stomach persisted. Even as she looked at Bellamy's encouraging expression, she couldn't shake off her reluctance. "Yeah, no thanks," she mumbled coldly, the tension in the room palpable.

The confusion on Bellamy's face deepened as he tried to understand Athena's sudden change in mood. "We shouldn't waste the ammunition anyways," Clarke interjected, attempting to diffuse the tension.

"You need to practice," Bellamy insisted, his tone firm.

"No. We don't. Can we leave now?" Athena's voice held a note of urgency, her desire to depart palpable.

"We need to talk about how we're gonna keep guns around camp, where are we gonna keep them, and who has access," Clarke asserted, her determination evident.

However, Bellamy ignored their discussion, grabbing his gun and firing a round that hit pretty close to the target. Athena turned around, grabbing her backpack and some blankets, eager to leave. But Clarke seemed poised to engage in another discussion with Bellamy.

"You left Miller in charge of the grounder. You must trust him," Athena sighed as she put her backpack back on the ground, realizing they weren't leaving just yet.

"You should keep him close. The others listen to him," Bellamy responded, catching Athena's interest. "What do you mean?" she asked, confused by his choice of words.

Slowly, Athena began to piece things together, and Clarke arrived at the same conclusion. "You're gonna run. That's why you agreed to come with us. You were gonna load up on supplies and just disappear," Clarke accused, her tone a mix of disbelief and disappointment.

"Bellamy, you can't be serious right now?" Athena interjected, her voice tinged with urgency as she stepped forward to stand in front of him. "You can't go out there alone," 

"I don't have a choice. The Ark will be here soon," Bellamy replied, his gaze averted, ashamed of his intentions.

"So you're just gonna leave Octavia?" Clarke pressed, targeting his weak spot.

"Octavia hates me. She'll be fine," Bellamy retorted dismissively.

"No, she doesn't," Athena countered, ready to continue her argument, but before she could, Bellamy's next words hung heavy in the air, silencing them all.

"I shot the chancellor. They're gonna kill me. Best-case scenario, they lock me up with the Grounder for the rest of my life, and there's no way in hell I'm giving Jaha the satisfaction. Keep practicing. I need some air."

Athena watched as he hurried past her, his steps echoing against the cold, metal interior. His expression was a mixture of resolve and resignation, his shoulders tense with the weight of his decision.

"Oh great, so now we can leave," Athena remarked, a mix of frustration and relief evident in her voice.

Clarke's uncertainty filled the space between them as she voiced her doubts about Bellamy's intentions. "I don't think he will actually run," she said softly, her eyes searching for reassurance.

"He sounds pretty convinced of his own stupid plan to me, so why do you think that?" Athena questioned, her skepticism evident.

"Bellamy wouldn't actually go through with his plan," Clarke insisted, her voice conveying both certainty and empathy. "He wouldn't risk leaving you behind."

"Me?" Athena stared blankly, her confusion evident.

"Yeah, you," Clarke affirmed as she gathered her belongings, preparing to leave the bunker.

"I don't understand," Athena admitted, still rooted in the same spot.Clarke explained, her voice soft but resolute.

"He cares about you too much to do so"

22/5/24

Anyone else celebrating ? 🥳 🙌  I loved writing this - get ready for the next chapter yallllll