Big Bang Theory (Missy Cooper X Male Reader X Paige Swanson )

Pilot

Leonard and Sheldon were walking through a corridor

Sheldon: So if a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it and either slit is observed it will not go through both slits. If it's unobserved it will, however, if it's observed after it's left the plane but before it hits its target, it will not have gone through both slits.

Leonard: Agreed, what's your point?

Sheldon: There's no point, I just think it's a good idea for a tee-shirt.

Leonard: Excuse me?

Receptionist: Hang on.

Leonard: One across is Aegean, eight down is Nabakov, twenty-six across is MCM, fourteen down is... move your finger... phylum, which makes fourteen across Port-au-Prince. See, Papa Doc's capital idea, that's Port-au-Prince. Haiti.

Receptionist: Can I help you?

Leonard: Yes. Um, is this the High IQ sperm bank?

Receptionist: If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here.

Sheldon: I think this is the place.

Receptionist: Fill these out.

Leonard: Thank-you. We'll be right back.

Oh, take your time. I'll just finish my crossword puzzle. Oh wait.

(They sit and begin to fill in forms).

Sheldon: Leonard, I don't think I can do this.

Leonard: What, are you kidding? You're a semi-pro.

Sheldon: No. We are committing genetic fraud. There's no guarantee that our sperm is going to generate high IQ offspring, think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.

Leonard: Sheldon, this was your idea. A little extra money to get fractional T1 bandwidth in the apartment.

Sheldon: I know, and I do yearn for faster downloads, but there's some poor woman is going to pin her hopes on my sperm, what if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve the area under a curve.

Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him.

Sheldon: I wouldn't.

Leonard: Well, what do you want to do?

Sheldon: I want to leave.

Leonard: Okay.

Sheldon: What's the protocol for leaving?

Leonard: I don't know, I've never reneged on a proffer of sperm before.

Sheldon: Let's try just walking out.

Leonard: Okay.

Receptionist: Bye.

Sheldon: Bye-bye

Leonard: See you.

They walked out of the building slightly embarrassed for the weird encounter they walked till they stopped in front of a where the driver of a 1967 Chervelot Impala was listening to Pressure by Billy Joel. Leonard got in the back and Sheldon got in the front.

The driver who was Y/N asked.

Y/N: How did it go?

Leonard joked: Sheldon had performance anxiety and couldn't get it up.

Sheldon says crassly: I don't have Erectile dysfunction. I just thought there was no guarantee that my sperm was going to generate high-IQ offspring. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.