A public washroom. Amy and Penny are in cubicles, and Bernadette is washing her hands.
Amy: I must say, Penny, this is great fun.
Penny: Glad you're enjoying yourself.
Amy: Until I met you and Bernadette, my trips to the bathroom had been entirely focused on elimination. Now they have a delightful social aspect.
Bernadette: Amy, you must've been in the bathroom with other women before.
Amy: Of course I have. But they were strangers and seemed off-put when I engaged in friendly stall-to-stall chit-chat.
Bernadette: Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.
Amy: You okay in there, bestie?
Penny: I'm fine.
Amy: The reason I ask is that many people experience bladder shyness, the inability to pass urine
Penny: Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me.
Amy: She always this crabby when she urinates?
Bernadette: We're really not that close.
Penny: Screw it. I'll go later.
Amy: And I'll be right by your side.
Scene: A shoe shop.
Bernadette: Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard to have dinner with her and Leonard?
Penny: Oh, that's nice.
Amy: No, it's not. It's a strategic manoeuvre. Leonard's new girlfriend is testing Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group. That bitch is crafty.
Bernadette: You think?
Amy: Of course. How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member.
Bernadette: Well, what makes me the weakest member?
Amy: Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.
Bernadette: What about Missy she's pregnant?
Amy: Oh no she's too catty.
Penny: Okay, Amy, you're being silly. Missy isn't catty and I am not concerned about who hangs out with who. And I certainly don't have a problem with Leonard's new girlfriend who wears way too much makeup. Ooh, these are cute. Of course if I buy them, I'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple.
Bernadette: It doesn't matter. I'm going to tell her we can't make it.
Amy: Oh, no. You have to go.
Bernadette: I don't understand. I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest.
Amy: You are, with hair that smells like strawberries. And we're going to use that to our advantage.
Penny: Wait. What are you talking about?
Amy: By accepting the invitation, Bernadette becomes a double agent inside the enemy camp. She could ferret out Priya's tactics, identify her weaknesses and feed her false information, such as, Leonard's no stranger to back-alley cockfights.
Bernadette: I don't know. I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whup that out of you in Catholic school.
Amy: Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.
Penny: Okay, I don't know you people. I'm just an innocent woman wondering if this shoe store will take my Texaco card.
Amy: How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom?
YOU ARE READING
Big Bang Theory (Missy Cooper X Male Reader X Paige Swanson )
FanfictionY/N L/N. A boy originally from Texas who grew up on the same street as the Cooper's. He was good friends with Sheldon both being obsessed with comic books, Star Trek, and Star Wars even Pyshics was able to keep up with him due to his own impressive...
