Quiet Moments

16 - Haunted by the Gorge

Octavia had endured another grueling day as Blodreina. The weight of her decisions, the blood on her hands, and the endless demands of leadership left her feeling hollow and exhausted. She yearned for the comfort of her quarters, the sanctuary where she could shed her armor and the persona of Blodreina, even if only for a little while.

As she entered her quarters, the familiar sight of Jade brought a brief moment of solace. But something was off. Jade sat at the small table, her back slightly hunched, eyes red-rimmed and wet. She seemed lost in thought, her fingers trembling as they fidgeted with a piece of cloth.

"Jade?" Octavia's voice was gentle, but it carried a hint of concern. She stepped closer, noticing how Jade flinched at the sound of her voice. "What's wrong?"

Jade quickly wiped her eyes, trying to compose herself. "Nothing. Just a long day."

Octavia wasn't convinced. She had seen Jade upset before, but this was different. There was a wariness in Jade's eyes, a hesitation that felt unfamiliar and deeply unsettling. "Are you sure? You seem... off."

Jade forced a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm fine, Octavia. Really."

Octavia sighed, frustration creeping into her voice. "Don't lie to me, Jade. I can see something's bothering you. Just tell me."

Jade's gaze flicked away, her jaw tightening. She remained silent for a moment, as if gathering her thoughts. Finally, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "I saw you today."

Octavia frowned, confused. "Saw me? What do you mean?"

Jade's hands trembled again, and she clenched them into fists to stop the shaking. "In the gorge. I saw you jump in and... and kill everyone inside."

The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. Octavia felt a chill run down her spine as the memory of the carnage in the gorge resurfaced. She had done what she believed was necessary, what was demanded of Blodreina. But seeing Jade's reaction, the pain in her eyes, made her question everything.

"Jade..." Octavia reached out, but Jade recoiled slightly, the movement like a dagger to Octavia's heart.

Jade took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "I know you did it for our people. I know you had no choice. But watching you like that... it was like you were a different person. Someone I didn't recognize."

Octavia's heart ached. She had known the horrors of war would change her, harden her, but she hadn't realized how deeply it would affect those she loved. "I'm still me, Jade. I'm still the woman you fell in love with."

Jade's eyes filled with tears, and she shook her head. "I want to believe that, Octavia. I really do. But today, it was like watching a stranger. A ruthless, merciless stranger."

The pain in Jade's voice cut through Octavia like a knife. She moved closer, gently taking Jade's hands in hers. "I did what I had to do. It doesn't mean I don't feel the weight of it, the horror of it. But I can't let it consume me. Not when I have you to come back to."

Jade's tears spilled over, and she finally let out a sob. "I know. I just... I don't know how to reconcile the woman I love with what I saw today. It scares me."

Octavia felt her own eyes sting with unshed tears. She pulled Jade into an embrace, holding her tightly. "I'm scared too. Every day. But we have to be strong, for each other. For our people."

Jade clung to Octavia, her body shaking with the force of her emotions. "I love you, Octavia. But seeing you like that... it broke something inside me."

Octavia held Jade closer, her own tears finally falling. "We'll get through this. We'll find a way to heal, together."

They stayed like that for a long time, wrapped in each other's arms, sharing their pain and fears. The world outside was harsh and unforgiving, but in this moment, they found a sliver of solace in each other's embrace.

Eventually, Jade pulled back slightly, looking into Octavia's eyes. "Promise me something."

"Anything," Octavia replied, her voice raw with emotion.

"Promise me that when all of this is over, we'll find a way back to each other. That we'll remember who we are underneath all of this."Octavia nodded, her heart aching with love and determination. "I promise, Jade. We'll find our way back."

Jade nodded, a small, hopeful smile breaking through her tears. "Okay."

They sat together in silence for a while, the weight of the day slowly lifting as they found comfort in each other's presence. The horrors of the gorge still lingered, but they knew they had each other to lean on, to find strength in.

Later, as they lay in bed, Jade nestled against Octavia's side, the tension between them eased. They spoke softly, sharing memories and dreams, reminding each other of the love that had brought them together.

"Remember when we first met?" Jade asked, her voice a soft murmur in the darkness.

Octavia smiled, her fingers tracing patterns on Jade's arm. "How could I forget? You were so fierce, even then. It took four warriors to drag you into the bunker."

Jade chuckled softly. "And Abby had to sedate me. I was such a mess."

"You were fighting for someone you loved," Octavia said gently. "That's never a mess."

Jade sighed, a mixture of sadness and fondness in her voice. "I just couldn't leave Ken behind. But now... now I'm glad I did. Because it led me to you."

Octavia's heart swelled with emotion. "I'm glad too. Even with everything we've been through, I wouldn't trade it for anything."

Jade looked up, her green eyes filled with love. "Neither would I."

They kissed, a tender meeting of lips that spoke of love and reassurance. It was a promise, a reminder that despite the darkness, their love would guide them through.

As they settled back into bed, Octavia felt a sense of peace she hadn't known in a long time. The future was uncertain, but with Jade by her side, she knew they could face anything.

"Goodnight, Octavia," Jade whispered, her voice filled with warmth.

"Goodnight, Jade," Octavia replied, her heart full.

And as they drifted off to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms, they knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, they would face them together, their love stronger than any darkness.