A love that is ours

4. No more us

Hanni

I stood at Danielle's door step, truly contemplating if I should or shouldn't knock. I was alone this time, Heesung left last night to go back abroad, he won't be back, not for a couple of months. Maybe I shouldn't be here at all. But there is stuff I want to know.

With a slight prayer that Haerin isn't home, I knocked on the door. I could hear Danielle calling out for someone to open the door. I waited there, fidgeting with my fingers as I heard the door being unlocked.

I looked up and I felt the air being sucked right out of me when a pair of eyes connected with mine. Is she suddenly everywhere? Why is she here?

"H-Hanni?" I heard her stutter out as her eyes looked at me. "Minji, who is it..." Danielle froze as she looked at me and then Minji. She didn't say anything for a couple of seconds until the tension was becoming too thick.

"You should probably go, Minji. I have things to talk with her." Danielle said, Minji only turned to look at her for a split second and shook her head at her. "I have things to talk with her too, so I'll talk to her first." Minji said, stepping out of the house which made me take a step back. I was scared, it wasn't a good idea to have her talking to me right now.

It was already so bad on me to see her again.

"Minji, Haerin will kill you. Plus, you know it's not right. She's married!" I heard Danielle whisper yell at her but Minji waved her off. "I'm older than Haerin, she's not allowed to say what I can or can't do. And calm down, I know she's married." The last part sounded so bitter that it made me look down.

Minji shut the door on Danielle, turning to look at me. Her demeanor was soft, she had no intention on hurting me or putting me in a frenzy with my emotions. She just wanted to have a deep talk with me. But what was I even supposed to say to her?

"Uh, there's a park down the street, we should probably go there?" She asked, I gave her a quick glance and nodded at her as I turned around waiting for her to start walking so she could guide us there.

I heard her let out a sigh as she started to walk, slotting herself next to me, doing the whole sidewalk rule or whatever it is you call it. She didn't say anything. Her mind seemed to be just as occupied as my own.

It wasn't until a couple of seconds after that she spoke. "Are you okay?" She asked softly, I could feel her looking at me with those same eyes she did all those years ago and it was chewing on my heart.

Can it be that I was the only one who moved on? Or rather tried to.

"Yeah." I shortly answered her and she looked away from me. Why was I being rude with her? She's literally done nothing wrong to me. But I couldn't say anything, or maybe I just didn't want to.

We reached the park and Minji led us to an open bench, where we had the view of the park filled with children. I looked over at Minji who looked at them with a big smile on her face and it broke my heart. She wanted children with me, and I have a feeling that that's what she's thinking of right now.

"I thought I'd never see you again." She suddenly said, her smile slowly fading as she turned to look at me. Her eyes shined like a crystal due to the tears forming in her eyes. I looked away from her with a slight guilt tugging at my chest. She's going to bring up the past, I know it!

"I thought so too." I said, she let out a hum as she placed her hands inside the pocket of her hoodie. "Congratulations, for your wedding. I don't know when it is you got married." She said with an apologetic smile on her face. "Five years ago." I said and I watched her shut her eyes close. "Don't be so cold with me, Hanni. I beg of you to have some mercy on me." Her voice, the way my name slipped her mouth, she was going to make me go insane.

"Minji, there's nothing for us to talk about. You know that." I said, turning to look at her. She nodded as she opened her eyes to look at me too. "I just, I don't know. I want to catch up with you on some things. Or did you end everything with me that day?" Her question made my heart drop. Can we be friends?

"No, I didn't end everything that day, but it's best that we don't have any type of communication." I said. She looked away from me in defeat. "Hanni, can't we try to be friends?" I quickly shook my head at her. "There is no more us, in any way, Minji." I said and she looked back at me.

"I missed you, can't you be a little nice to me?" She asked, her voice sounded hurt. I kept shaking my head at her. I didn't want to be any where near her anymore. I couldn't be around her, ever since I saw her at the reunion, she's been splitting my mind and heart in half.

Just seeing her destroys me.

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but I'm being honest. There's no more us, not even as friends. I can't be your friend." I said as I looked at her hardly. I didn't like treating her like this, but what else am I supposed to do?

I moved on with my life, I'm going to form a family with my husband. It wouldn't be that bad of an idea to be friends with her again. After all, she was my friend before anything else happened. But I can't have her close to me, because I don't want to hurt her.

"Hanni, why? I understand you're married and all of that, but it's not like I'll do anything to disrespect you or your marriage, do you think of me as that type of person?" She asked and I looked at her. How could I tell her it was because she opened the door of my memories and it's bringing back everything I swore to never feel again.

That I moved on from her without much thought, or that throughout these years I thought of her once? I never really realized how bad it was until I saw her again. I was more than fine, but what about her? I left her here with a broken heart.

"It's not that, we just can't." I said and she let out a sigh. "I know you don't love me anymore, Hanni. It's not like you're going to have to pick between me and him. I just want to be part of your life again." She said with full sincerity and I felt my heart break.

I never texted her, not even once while I was away, I forgot all about her. I felt everything coming to me now. I was such a bitch to her throughout these years. It was unfair to her because I was the one who left her here. I kicked her out of my life completely. And maybe I should keep it that way.

"And it's best you're not part of it all." I did not mean to say that. My eyes looked at Minji who looked away from with teary eyes. "Well, I guess that settles everything, it was nice hearing your voice again. Forgive me if I acted too bold with you." She said standing up and I felt my heart dropping. But it was for the best, right?

"Take care of yourself, I'll see you again someday." And why did that feel like a permanent goodbye? Is she leaving?

By the time my thoughts had scattered, she wasn't anywhere to be seen, I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked around.

I did the right thing, I know I did.

But why did it feel like the biggest mistake of my life?

-

-

-

Hanni is making such a big mistake :(

VOTE AND COMMENT, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!