A love that is ours

6. Drunk and in love

Hanni

Hours have passed, Danielle let me stay over in Minji's room. Figuring that she probably won't come back at all tonight. And Danielle is completely upset with me and I just don't seem to understand why, what have I done wrong? I'm just trying to live my life without my ex being part of it.

I looked around Minji's room, it was past midnight and there was still no sign of her. Haerin doesn't even know that Danielle let me stay. They're both sleeping in their room.

Supposedly after Haerin got married with Danielle, Haerin had made sure that her sister always had a room in their house for the moment she came back, or decided to stay with them.

So around the room there were many belongings of Minji from basically 10 years ago. Like some of her favorite legos she built, her books, her sketch pad that had the designs of cars in every page. And as I flipped through the pages I could feel my heart halting.

And there it was, the drawing she made of me. I flipped to the next page and the drawings of cars began again. I let out a yawn, I was pretty tired now. I decided to go to sleep, as I had to sneak out of here before Haerin sees me in the morning.

I laid under the covers of Minji's bed that seemed to still smell like her, making tears form in my eyes. Why did her scent make my heart so content? She's supposed to mean nothing to me, nothing!

A couple of minutes went by and I felt myself freeze when the door opened. "Stupid asshole, he couldn't even-hic-tell her the truth all those years ago." Minji walked in, basically storming in. And what was she mumbling about? And it's so clear she's drunk, her footsteps are so heavy and I could hear her stumble every now and then.

She hasn't even realized I'm here.

I closed my eyes pretending to be asleep when I caught of glimpse of her starting to undress. She kept mumbling I don't know what as she pulled the covers of the bed and freezing. I guess she finally realized I'm here.

I wanted to move but I kept still against my own will. There was silence for a couple of seconds until I felt the bed dip with her weight and the covers being placed over me again. "M'sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, if you're awake." Minji mumbled as she laid behind me.

Minutes passed and she kept moving, the bed squeaked with her movements. "God, I'm sorry, Hanni." I was confused until I felt her arms wrap around and her face hide itself on the back of my neck. I should tell her to get off me, to let me go, but I wasn't able to and just stayed quiet.

Is this cheating? Could it be that what Minji's doing is a threat to my relationship with Heesung? But my thoughts vanished when Minji hugged me tighter and sobs started to erupt from her. Her hold on me was delicate despite how tight she hugged me.

"I missed you so much, Han." And my heart squeezed as she kept crying. "Why did you marry him? Why did you have to move on from me? I loved you so much, and I still do. I promised to wait for you so that we could once again continue our story. But you just tore me apart." Minji mumbled as she took in my scent and cried even more.

"You ripped my heart apart right in front of my eyes. I promised Haerin to stay here for a while, but I don't think I can anymore." And my heart dropped at her words. She's definitely going to leave again.

"I was happy to see you, but once you told me you were married it felt like you had stabbed me. And then it all made sense, the reason why I never heard of you again, the reason why you never reached out to me." Her voice sounded so pained that I just didn't want to hear it anymore.

Why is she making me feel guilty for moving on? I had broken up with her and I wasn't going to be forced to still feel something for her after all these years and even if I did, it'll be for nothing, I'm already married with Heesung. He's the man I want in my life.

I don't want anything to do with her anymore.

My eyes opened wide in shock when I felt her lips pressed against the softness of my cheeks. A gesture I sought to have forgotten. "I love you, Hanni. I always will." And with that she tightened the hold she had on me and then let go of me. I could hear her crying as she got off the bed.

I shut my eyes as I watched her move to where I laid on the bed. I could feel her hand on my shoulder as it moved up to cup my cheek. "Why didn't you stay? That's all I want to know, Hanni. We could've done so much together, was that too much to ask from you, my love?" My heart squeezed at the endearment.

"Haerin doesn't understand what I feel for you, no one does. They tell me to let you go, to forget you but I just can't. But now I realize that it's truly really over. That you're not coming back to me." I felt her place a kiss on my forehead.

The smell of alcohol filled my sense as she spoke again. "You're still as beautiful as I remember you." Her hand crept up to the strands of my hair, brushing away any misplaced ones. "For whatever reason it is, that you don't want me in your life, I hope you know I respect it. I understand, well I try to, I can't comprehend why we can't even be friends." She said and let out a huff.

"Maybe one day I will, but it won't be today, nor tomorrow. I promised myself to stay away from you if you ever came back, but that's the one promise I couldn't keep. Here I am, talking to you in your sleep because it's the only way I will ever be able to talk to you again." She said.

Why is she doing this? I want her to leave me alone for the sake of my own sanity. I'm at the verge of getting up and yelling at her to stop all of this. To just leave me alone.

Maybe I'm trying to convince myself that I don't love her anymore, but it's for the best. I don't have a future with Minji anymore. It disappeared once Heesung came in to my life in that manner.

"One more day, and that's it. I'll disappear again until I'm able to move on with my life once more." She said, completely pulling away from me. The warmth she gave me disappeared along with her. The door to her room opened and then it closed.

I was finally able to breathe again, my heart was racing once more. She was killing me! My mind was spinning as my heart felt conflicted with everything. A part of me wanted to go after her and tell her to not leave and then the other part of me held me back telling me it was none of my business.

That there was nothing for me to do, that Minji was grown and if she was acting immature it was because she wanted to. And honestly, maybe she was, there is no need for her to disappear again. It's not like I'm here to stay.

I'll never be hers again, and she needs to carve that in to her brain.

Let me go, Minji.

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