A love that is ours

21. Dreams

Hanni

I watched Minji, who held the tiny one in her arms. "Who's the cutest baby in the world? You are!" Minji said, pinching the baby's cheek. The baby, who is named Wonhee, gave Minji her biggest smile.

"She's the cutest, isn't she?" Minji asked as she turned to look at me. The one year old started to tug on Minji's shirt demanding for attention and I could only laugh as Minji went back to playing around with her.

A part of me wishes to give Minji a child, it's just a feeling I can't suppress. Whenever Minji is around a baby or even a toddler, she just seems to come to life. And I know how happy she'd be if we have a child of our own.

But I don't know if she's ready to take that step with me yet. I know that I am, I want nothing more than for Minji to make me mother of her children. But I'm not sure if that's what she wants right now, or even wants at all after everything.

"Minji! Give Wonhee back, it's time for her nap." Haerin said as she walked in to the living room and came to where Minji and I sat on the floor with the baby. "Aw! Come on, two more minutes?" Minji asked with pleading eyes but Haerin shook her head.

"Danielle would kill me if I don't get Wonhee to sleep on time." Haerin said as she had to pinch Minji to let go of her child. "You'll get to play with her later." Haerin said as she started to speed walk away, rushing up the stairs. I can't blame her, Danielle is scary when she's mad.

I felt her arms wrap around me as they pulled me closer to her. "You've been quiet, it's not like you." She said, bringing her hand up to brush some strands of hair away from my face.

I looked at her, contemplating whether to touch the topic with her. Maybe it's too early on in our relationship, or maybe I'm just rushing things because I just want to see her happy.

"It's nothing, I'm just tired." I said and she shook her head at me. "It's not that, baby. I know you well, talk to me." She said, as her hand went down to cup my cheek. Her touch was so gentle that I wanted to cry.

"What do you think about kids?" I asked and I watched Minji's eyes as they started to sparkle as she thought of her answer. "I love them! They're like a dream, something I want to have one day." She said as she gave me big smile.

"It's a dream to have one of my own." She said, pulling me closer to her. "Why? What's all this about?" She asked and I let out a sigh and turned to look at her.

"Would you want to have children with me?" She looked at me in disbelief. "I don't know if I should be mad at you for questioning me or be happy that you're bringing this up." I looked at her confused and she let out a small chuckle. Kissing my lips briefly.

"Of course I want children with you! Don't question me on that. And I'm glad you brought this up, because I've been wanting to have a talk with you. I just didn't know how to ask you." My eyes looked at her expectingly as I waited for her to continue.

"I feel that..I'm ready to take a big step forward in our relationship. Maybe it's too early for this, but I want us to have a baby, Hanni. It's been my dream for a while now." She said and my jaw dropped.

Was I overthinking for nothing?

"Sometimes I wished that the birth control failed so that you could get pregnant, I don't know, maybe I'm such sick psycho for wanting that but the feeling of watching you become a mother just consumes me. I want to see you be a mom, I want us to grow our child together. When I dream, all I see is me and you and our children." She said and I felt my heart doing backflips at her words.

"I want us to try and start to have a baby, I know that marriage should come first, but we'll get there sooner or later. I want us to be stronger, I want our relationship to be strong enough so that our marriage never fails." I could only stare at her.

She's just so...wonderful.

"I hope that you know, I'll never force you to have children with me if you don't want to now or never. I'll love you regardless, Hanni." And my heart broke, it will destroy her if I say I don't want kids with her. But she'd stay with me even though I'd be destroying her dreams.

I'd be crazy to say I don't, because I want to.

"Minji, I want to have kids with you. Like it's all I've been wanting lately. I was scared that it wasn't what you wanted yet for us. Or that it was something you just didn't want with me after everything that happened." I said and Minji quickly shook her head at me with sad eyes.

"Oh god. Hanni, you're the fucking love of my life! How could you think that? It's all I've ever wanted, my love." She said, cupping my cheeks as her thumb brushed against my skin.

"You'll be making me the happiest woman on earth if we try this out." She said and her smile was just so cute. Everything about her right now was just so cute. I wish I could keep her in my pocket.

"So, are we giving this baby making a try?" She asked me and I nodded at her eagerly. "Yes, we're giving this a try, and we'll keep trying for as long as we have to. I'll make you the happiest woman on earth, no matter what." I said and she started to blush as she hid her face on my shoulder.

I shook my head at her as she kept squealing. "I'm already so happy!" She said, squeezing me a little too tight, but that's okay. The slight pain was worth it.

"I can already see a mini you running around all grumpy because her brother took her toy." Minji said with a dream like look on her face as she looked at me.

"And I already see myself having to scold you along with the kids for breaking something in our future house." I said and Minji threw me a playful glare. "I wouldn't break anything! Trust me, I'd keep them well behaved." She said with this determined look on her face.

"Yeah, sure...I also already see you running away from me as the kids laugh at us." I said and Minji let out a laugh. "That'll be cute though!" She said and I nodded in agreement as I leaned closer to her.

"I already love them and I don't even know them. Ugh! I have to wait a whole nine months, I don't think I can be that patient." She said rolling her eyes and my heart did twirls and spins just by looking at her.

"But time will go by fast, and next thing we know, they'll be in your arms." I said and she nodded. "I just can't wait for that, I can't wait for our little family to form." She said.

I cupped her cheek and looked in to her eyes, making sure she was looking at my own directly as well. Once she was I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"This baby will bond us together for life, Minji. I want you to be fully sure of all this. I want you to be with me Minji, through the whole journey. I want you to take care of me and love me as I carry your child. I don't want our love to ever break, Minji. I want us to grow old together and rot inside coffins that are right beside each other, I want our our love to be stronger than anything so that we could find each other in every lifetime." I said and her eyes seemed to have saddened. 

She leaned in and whispered.

"Our love will never die, Hanni. It's you and me forever and always."

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