A love that is ours

10. Never again

Hanni

Never again.

I'm never doing any of this with Minji again. I don't see why she doesn't understand why we can't be friends. It'll literally be the most toxic friendship to exist if we try to maintain it. It's so clear it'll only fall apart even more, why can't she see that? Why can't she see that I'm not hers anymore.

Why does the past have to be so important to her?

We were now on our way back to Danielle's house, Minji walked beside me just admiring the clouds. A part of me still couldn't believe that she found me. And I didn't even know. And I know that's my fault, I ignored every single one of her calls and messages and just blocked her at some point. I gave her zero access to me, no way to reach and now of me.

"Why didn't you pick up a single one of my calls, at least just one?" Minji asked as she was now looking at me. "You know why." Was all I said. "It wouldn't have hurt you to at least send me one text, just letting me know you were fine." She said and I stopped walking as I threw a glare at her. "Minji! Please just stop this." I didn't mean to raise my voice but I felt a little irritated.

"I just want to know, Hanni. I was worried about you." She murmured, and I snapped, not knowing why. "Minji, I broke up with you! Wouldn't that be a clear hint of why I never texted nor called you back? I was moving on with my life, I didn't have time to think of you, okay? I forgot about you! In these ten years, I haven't thought of you once. You meant nothing to me then, and still mean nothing now." I said, Minji could only look at me with hurt written all over her eyes but I didn't seem to care at this moment, I was fuming.

"Just let go of me! Stop this foolery and act like the grown woman you are! You're not the teenager you once were that took immature decisions. You're now grown and I know damn well you can make your own responsible choices. And one of them is letting me go." I said, Minji didn't dare to say anything as she just kept staring at me. Her eyes that were once wide just seemed to look down.

"Never again, Minji. I learned that after today you nor I could ever see each other again. This isn't going to work, not matter how much you try and beg. It won't." I said as I pointed between us. "This friendship is over, Minji." I said and I started to walk away from her.

I don't know why I was so angered. Was it the way that she looked at me with so much hurt as she asked me why? Or was it the clear objective of her trying to reach out to me?  I don't know, and maybe I'll never know.

I stormed down the street as I headed to Danielle's house, and I pray to the good lord up at the sky that Haerin isn't there. I don't have the time to be dealing with her nonsense right now.

All I want is for Heesung to come back, I miss him and he hasn't even called me once to check up on me, or to even ask if Minji's doing anything to bother me. It's as if I don't even exist to him. And maybe that was anger, but I wasn't going to admit it.

Maybe it was the fact that my ring was on my finger by a thread and I was scared.

I knocked on Danielle's door abruptly, looking behind me to see Minji with her head hung low. I had no sense of sympathy for her, I had nothing for her.

Danielle opened the door scared as she looked at me. "Hanni, what's wrong?" She asked, I completely ignored her as I rushed in to the house and went to sit in the living room. "Where's Minji?" She asked and I let out a groan at the mention of Minji's name. "I don't know and I don't care!" I shouted and Danielle rushed to the living room, probably leaving Minji outside, I couldn't care less!

"Hanni, what the hell?! You two were only going out for a simple lunch." She said and I let out a scoff. "It's never simple with Minji, Danielle. It always goes back to what we once were with her, I don't want to think of the past when I have a clear future." I said and Danielle could only furrow her eyebrows even more at me.

"I don't want anyone, much less her, questioning me on why I didn't do certain things. Like I'm tired of being blamed for all of this! I broke up with Minji, and it was up to her to move on from me or not." I said, now ranting at Danielle who only looked at me with wide eyes.

"Hanni, I understand you're mad, but don't take it out on her. We both know it's not because of her." Danielle said and there was truth in there that I would never dare to admit.

"Of course it's because of her, her presence just seems to anger me. Maybe at first I did want to see her but now I don't, I don't want anything to do with her ever again. It's making me regret ever coming back here." And Danielle's eyes saddened. "Ouch, that kind of hurts, Hanni. Don't you think you're being too hard on her?" She asked and I shook my head. "I should be a lot worse, because why doesn't she understand that I'm married? I literally have a ring on my finger! That there's no chance for her ever again." I said and even I started to feel the exaggeration in my words but I couldn't stop.

"I'm planning on having kids soon, Danielle. And I don't want Minji to be on the back of my head making me feel guilty for something I shouldn't. If she doesn't move on from me, Danielle, I might loose it. It's not that hard to move on!" And Danielle's eyes suddenly showed anger.

"Did you truly love her, Hanni?" Her question caught me off guard. "I don't know." It slipped right between my lips before I could even stop myself. "They say if you manage to move on from someone you love so quickly, it means at times that you didn't truly love them. And a part of me fears that's true because that would be so unfair." And I wanted to scream. I'm suddenly the bad person in all this? Hell to the mother fucking no.

"Maybe I didn't love her at all, maybe it was all just infatuation, I don't know and I really don't care Danielle. Minji has no meaning whatsoever in my life. And you better tell Haerin that, I don't want her on my ass bitching at me about how I'm hurting Minji because I'm not." I said as I let out a deep breath.

"Minji is the one who's hurting herself, I'm not doing anything, I'm just trying to live my own life as I'm being the villain in someone's story. And now that's not fair." I said and Danielle could only shake her head...she looked so...disappointed in me. I was taken back by that.

"I hope Minji never finds out you truly didn't love her, because that would be her last straw." Danielle said and I let out a huff, all they think of is Minji, and what about me?

I'm the bad guy, so no one dares to care.

I'm no bad guy, this is unfair.

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Hanni is such a sweet baby irl 😭 it feels so wrong to have her be this type of character

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