Waiting For You/ Chanlix

twenty two

Felix had been wondering why Chan had been avoiding letting him read any more of Minho's journal.

Now he knew that it was because Chan knew that it was getting near the bad parts, and as they both knew, that story didn't have a happy ending.

Hi, It's Minho. 

"Today Chan took me to "our spot." I didn't know what he was talking about at first and I honestly didn't want to go because obviously, I hadn't been feeling great but he took us to the spot where we used to play with each other as kids. Pretty much the place where we became friends. I wanted to have a good time, I wanted to feel happy but all I could feel was guilt. He is so set on us being soulmates, that he told me that if I'm not his soulmate then he doesn't want one, that he will wait for me in case I ever change my mind about not wanting him to wait for me anymore. I hope his thoughts change when I'm gone...if I'm even his soulmate in the first place. I don't want him to be all alone, especially not when I'm gone. So Chan, if you're the one who ends up with this journal, please, please just do whatever makes you happy. That's what I want for you."

Felix blinked away the tears in his eyes once he had finished reading the page. He didn't even know why exactly he was crying, hearing that Chan didn't want anyone who wasn't Minho made sense, they were in love with each other and Felix knew that but it still stung a little. Then the end...it felt awkward in a way to read to Chan since he had been hesitant to do anything with Felix. It was obvious that he still had a certain level of guilt. 

"I'm sorry," Chan mumbled, putting the journal back into his bag. "I shouldn't make you read it anymore. I didn't-" 

"Chan, it's okay," Felix shook his head. "Again, I don't mind reading them. I think it's a lot better than reading them by yourself. I can't be mad at you or upset that you said that. You loved him and we didn't even know that each other existed yet. 

"Felix," Chan sighed as he laid back on the younger's bed, Felix did the same, lying on his side so he could face the older who was currently fixated on the ceiling. "You know that you make me happy, right?"

"I hope that I do," Felix responded quietly although he wasn't entirely sure where Chan was going with this.

"I'm sorry if I don't always express it. Minho also wrote me a letter to read after he was gone and it said that if I find a person who makes me happy to not push them away. I'm sorry for pushing you away in the beginning." 

"It's okay, you're still grieving, I'm not gonna judge you for it."

"Yeah, but I think it's time for me to finally start listening to Minho and do what he wanted me to do...be happy," Chan explained, moving onto his side so he could face Felix. 

"What do you mean?" Felix asked, glancing up at him. His heart was pounding but Felix knew himself. He was too delusional for this to go where he was hoping that it was going. 

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

It was exactly what Felix was hoping. He couldn't believe that he had even heard him correctly.

"What?" 

"Will you, Lee Felix, be my boyfriend?" Chan repeated, grabbing the younger's hand to hold in his own. 

"Yes."