Waiting For You/ Chanlix

twenty four

Hey, it's Minho

I've already decided that this journal is going to go to you, Channie, once I'm gone so I'm gonna take the time to say thank you for last night. I've been pretty miserable, it hard not to be when I've had to give up everything I've loved, no more dancing, no more fantasizing what it will be like to grow old with you as my soulmate. It's hard to remain happy at times when that's all my brain thinks about. Last night, however, you managed to make me forget all about that stuff. You took me to our spot and we talked until it got dark outside, for a while, you made me forget that time exists at all which I needed considering how overdriven my brain has been recently. We tickled each other, danced with each other, I missed dancing so much and I'm so happy that my real last time doing it got to be with you. Then, we kissed. I wish I could feel that happy all the time, I wish I could be happy and healthy enough for thousands of more kisses like that. Last night makes up for any time I'm going to miss though, thank you for the night that felt like a dream. Thank you for giving me one night of the life we had always imagined together. I love you Chan, so so much.

"At least this one was a happy sad," Felix said with a small smile, letting his fingers fall over Minho's written words.

"That night is one of my favorite memories. I feel like that was the first time I had seen Minho smile and laugh in months."

"I'm happy I got to read about it."

"Me too...maybe you'll get to see our spot when we go to Korea."

"I would love to," Felix smiled, kissing the side of Chan's face as he handed the small journal back to him.

"What's this journal?" Chan asked, trying to pick up the small baby blue journal that Felix had on his nightstand.

The younger quickly grabbed it from him and threw it across the room before Chan could open it.

"Nothing!"

"Okay...?" Chan looked at him weirdly.

"I just- I guess that reading this has inspired me to start journaling too."

"Why?" Chan asked.

"I just think that it's cute that Minho kept track of all of this stuff and you can go back and read it."

"Yeah but neither of us are going anywhere."

"I know, I just think that it's good to keep track of." Felix explained even though he could tell that it was making Chan a bit anxious. "It's just- if you go on a trip to Korea without me or if you move back and we have to do long distance or something.

"That's not gonna happen," Chan reassured, kissing the top of his boyfriend's head.

But it had been something Felix had been thinking about a lot lately. Chan said from the beginning that he was only visiting.