Waiting For You/ Chanlix

fifteen

not proofread

Minho was right, you could feel your soulmates emotions when you kiss and because of that, he couldn't stop thinking about his and Chan's kiss.

He couldn't even begin to explain how it made him feel and he didn't really want to explain it to himself, he just wanted to feel it again.

And even though Chan had already initiated the first kiss Felix was still terrified to initiate the second. They hadn't even talked about the first since it had happened he wasn't even sure if Chan had liked it.

Pretty much immediately after Chan offered to walk him home and they hadn't spoken since then.

It had only been yesterday that they kissed but it was still causing him to panic. He just wanted something, any sort of confirmation that Chan didn't hate it or didn't regret it.

"Hey," he heard a familiar voice, causing him to look up snapping out of the empty counter since the cafe had pretty much been dead since he got there which definitely didn't help his overthinking. Neither did the next sentence that Chan said.

"I have to go back to Korea."

"What?"

"Only for like a week," Chan added which gave Felix a little bit of relief but he still didn't understand why Chan was telling him so suddenly.

"Why?"

"I just..." Chan glanced at the floor and let out a small sigh. "I have to do something."

"I'm taking my break," Felix yelled to Lily and walked over to Chan as they took a seat at a corner table. "What do you have to do? When are you leaving?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll be back soon. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"What do you mean 'don't worry about it?'"

"It's just a week, you won't even realize that I'm gone."

"All that I've been thinking about since we kissed was you, I'm gonna realize. If this is because of that and you regret it then just tell me, I'm sorry. If that happened to soon then just tell me please don't leave because of it," Felix said, feeling the tears build up in his eyes.

He couldn't think of any other reason as to why Chan would be telling him this immediately after they had kissed. He wanted to ask to go with him but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't leave for a week and only tell his manager a day in advance. He didn't feel like he was close enough to Chan to ask him a question like that yet.

"That's not why I'm leaving. I don't regret that at all. It had nothing to do with you, okay?" Chan said, loosely grabbing Felix's hand.

"Then why are you leaving?"

"I still have friends in Korea, my parents are there and...Minho is there. It's his birthday in three days, I need to be there."

Felix felt his heart ache a bit and it wasn't only because he felt bad for Chan this time. He couldn't help but feel a little bit sad that Chan was leaving, no matter what the reason was. His brain only made things worse when he thought about how things would be long term. Chan's home was still Korea and Felix's was Australia. He knew Chan would want to move back there eventually.

"Okay."

"You're okay?" Chan asked as if Felix could say anything other than "yes."

"Did you bring the journal with you?" Felix asked, trying to change the subject.

"Mhm," Chan hummed and pulled it out.

"He was 15?" Felix asked to confirm and Chan nodded. "That's quite a jump," he said referring to the entry he had read yesterday.

"I guess he got distracted," Chan said with a small smile.

"Hi, It's Minho! Chan asked me on a date today. He brought up the fact that Hyunjin and Seungmin go on dates even though they don't have their tattoos yet. I wanted to say yes but I was scared. I love how things are right now and I don't know what would change if we became more than friends. I have to focus on school and dance right now anyways. I love Chan a lot but for some reason it doesn't feel like the right time yet. I like how comfortable I feel around him and I don't want to loose that. Even though I might want to say it to him now, I'm gonna wait until it feels right so for now I'll write it here. I love you Chan."

Felix felt his heart racing when he read the last four words. He knew he was just reading what Minho wrote but saying those words to Chan still made his heart speed up regardless.

"Thank you," I should go now though. Chan stood up, holding the journal in his arm.

Felix stood up to but he wasn't sure how he was supposed to say goodbye. Just say it? hug him? kiss him?

Before he could decide which would be the most appropriate he felt Chan's arms wrap around him and lips press against his forehead.

"Bye Felix."

"Bye Chan."