~Hate to love~ Leah Williamson

What..?

Leah gulps while trying to get the words out what the fuck is she trying to say. I'm starting to get worried if I'm being honest but of course I'm not showing it for god sake I'm Miley the non emotional bitch. 'Miley I'm sorry' is all Leah could get out before bursting into tears. I'm not good with emotions but I could tell whatever Leah was about to say something terrible 'Me- me and Jordan kissed when you was talking to Lucy and comparing your abs' Leah say and I feel my heart drop. What. The. Fuck. The only reason I was talking to Lucy was because me and her are starting to get closer as mates. I feel my throat go dry and tears staring to swell up I haven't cried in a long time I'm not crying over a girl what the fuck. All I did was look in Leah's teary eyes then I stormed out. What the fuck is happening. I go to Lucy's room and she hugs me I feel safe in Lucy's arms even though I'm mean I'm soft to Lucy she's probably my number one best friend right now I cry in-front of Lucy i Never cry and definitely not in-front of people. All I can do is sob into her shoulder as she holds me close. 'Can I maybe stay here Luce' I say making sure I can stay even though she said I'm welcome anytime. I'm guessing Keira heard me crying because I hear footsteps and Lucy whispering something to her. I can't make out what there saying but I hear Keira say. 'Is it Leah Miles' I only get called Miles by Lucy and Keira sometimes I'm like there kid. 'Y-yeah' I say taking a deep breath. Then explain everything and Lucy's rubbing my back and Keira is looking shocked. 'Why the fuck would she do that I know me and her are best mates but that's messed up.' Keira says obviously on my side. Ring ring. I hear coming from my phone. Oh shit. This must be Leah I decline it. Ring ring. Again coming from my phone I was about to decline it then Keira takes it and goes to a different room. All I hear is Keira shouting down the phone obviously furious at Leah about the whole situation. 'Why me Luce why me' I say to Lucy braking down in tears.

After 7 weeks

We're off England camp and I've been ignoring Leah as much as I can but sometimes I catch her eyes her red eyes there now always red and she's avoiding everyone I hope she's o- snap out of it Miley stop caring Go back to your old self and stop caring about everyone incept your closest friends. I've got a new hotel room right near arsenal campus but at least im away from Leah. Coming to think of it I haven't even let her explain but I don't wanna hear her voice again it's obvious we've broken up and the media has gone crazy like making edits of me and Leah looking sad all the time now. I don't Like how the media is seeing me I look weak I hate looking weak. As you can tell I'm pretty sad since the brake up but I don't see her she's not in every window I look through I don't miss her she's not in every single thing I do. I don't think we were meant to be I don't think she's the missing piece. And I won't hear it whenever anymore says her name and I don't feel her love even when I'm bursting into flames. I don't reget the day I left i don't believe that I was blessed im probably lying to myself again. Im alone in my head looking for love in a strangers bed but I don't think I'll find it cause only Leah can fill this empty space. I wanna tell all my friends but I don't think they would understand it's something I've decided because only you can fill this empty space. Ive been drinking I've been doing things I shouldn't do overthinking i don't know who I am without you your a liar and a cheat i let my ego swallow me I might never see you again. I'm alone in my head looking for love in a strangers bed but I don't think I'll find it cause only Leah can fill this empty space. I wanna tell all my friends but I don't think they will understand because I've decided that's only you can fill this empty space. I could've made you love me. I'm gonna make you love me.

Fuck this. I go to the cupboard where I keep all the medicine. I take 15 of them all of them are mixed I grab a drink and get 5 in my mouth take them get 5 in my mouth take them get 5 in my mouth take them. I grow big eyed realising what I've done then grow dizzy fuck. Oh well. Not like anyone will miss me. I go on my phone and try to distract myself and I see lots of edits of me and Leah and about the brake up and there opinions until I see there was a video

Pretend it's Miley
Shit that's me on the pitch after playing the first game for arsenal back after the euros. No way the fans saw this.

Pretend the clips at the airport are Miley
Oh for fuck sake this was on the way back from the euros after my heart was broken. I get up to get water while falling back onto the sofa again fuck. I decide I just need to try to sleep even though it might be my last sleep.

I wake up with a pounding headache fuck training today it's only gym it's fine.. I get up and get some water skipping breakfast and going straight to the door I'm already in my training kit and I head to the stadium and head to the gym on the bikes I'm abit wobbly because I'm still dizzy but not as dizzy. I hear a massive crash behind me and everyone rushes to it. I stop and see someone laying on the floor. Shit what if it's- wait I don't have any mates on this team. I need to go see if there ok still. I walk over to see who it is on the ground only to be paired with Leah's glossy eyes. I look into her eyes before noticing something. There not normally this red and she's got massive eye bags. I just turn around sigh and walk back to my own bike but all I can think about is why we're her eyes so red and why where they glossy she won't cry over falling off a bike she does that commonly. I just bike to the gym with Katie by my side. I guess Katie's alright she has my attitude so we get along quite well I think. We're just talking about what we did on international camp until we pull up to the gym where the first there since everyone was with Leah. They soon also get here like 3 minutes after us with Leah running because I'm guessing she isn't going back on her bike. I mean I don't care. I'm met by her eyes again before I look away I can't handle it. Everytime I look at her my throat becomes dry and my eyes start to sting trying to hold back tears.

Leah's PoV:

I'm met by Miley's eyes as I'm on the floor after falling off the bike for like the 10000th time in my life. I see her eyes and there red just like mine I try to hold eye contact but see her eyes get glossy and she rolls then and turns away going back to her bike with McCabe. We get to the gym finally with me running I'm not getting on the bike after I've just fallen off. I'm met by Miley's eyes once again I see her turn away again. If only she would let me explain...

An:
Longg chapter guys but you deserve it getting me back to N.1 In song lyrics love you all thanksss anyway 1400 Words!!!