~Hate to love~ Leah Williamson

Flashback

Me and Katie have been talking all gym and to be honest she seems chill like we have a-lot in common. We both sleep with girls a lot that's one thing along with our anger on the pitch. Back to me I can tell im not my usual self im lashing out at people I know I did before but now it's uncontrollable I don't have Leah to say anything now so I do whatever I want. I was once Like this when I was younger. Age 15...

Flashback

'What is your problem Miley' The head teacher says shouting in my face if only he actually knows what's going on. A couple days before this I tried to kill myself I thought I was nothing in anyone's life but my big brothers he's always there for me I love him. The only person that knows all my secrets.

Back to today

Im sat on the floor with tears in my eyes. Fuck. I miss my big brother not long ago he died in a motorcycle crash. Life hasn't been the same without him. The only person who made me feel loved was him until Leah came In my life and look how that's ended. No one knows about my big brother other then Lucy I never told Leah but I was gonna soon when she met my family we have a big picture of him at my house which I don't regularly visit now he's dead. Sometimes I wonder what would of happened if he never got on the motorcycle that night.

Flashback

I get a call to return home immediately and I know something up by my Mums voice and the crying in the back ground. I get in my car and speed way over the limit luckily I don't get caught because if I did I would be in jail let's just say that. I finally get back after a long 45 mins what felt like hours. I get home to see a note on the sofa to go to the hospital and I do. I'm met by my mums teary eyes and she bring me to my brother who's laid down with monitors all hooked up to him. As soon as I see him my knees go weak and I start finding it hard to breath and I start crying very hard. No way this is happening. I see my brother sit up and lay back down straight away. Then the monitor goes. I hug him long and I put my ear to his heartbeat to hear nothing...

Back to today

I feel tears streaming down my eyes before I see Leah looking at me with sympathy in her eyes. I dont Need anyone's sympathy I hate sympathy. Especially from my ex. But at the same time I've never felt so alone. Every night I'm crying myself to sleep without anyone to comfort me. Tonight I decide since we have a week of Im going to America too see someone you'll see who soon me and her have been kids since young and I'm always texting her and I need to talk to her in person after 1 or 2 years.

The next day

Im finally on the plane me and her have been planing this for weeks I was meant to be going with Leah because she admires this person but we know how me and her ended up so now I'm going by myself to see my childhood best friend. After a long flight I finally arrive with 1 hours of sleep just great. I feel the American air hit my body. Jeez way warmer then uk. I look around the airport since me and this girl are meeting here. I look around trying to find her but I can't until I'm paired with a pair of blue eyes. I run over to her and she runs to me too. I jump into her arms. 'I missed you Miley' she says bringing me into a more comforting hug. 'I missed you too Bills...' Yes I'm mates with Billie Eilish. We're childhood friends we've gone through every emotion together but she doesn't even know about my brother and she doesn't know about me and Leah breaking up. 'So where the special one' I hear Billie say looking around. 'I'll tell u when we get to yours' i say trying not to let tears escape. We go back to hers blasting her songs of course I would say I'm her biggest fan listened since she released her first song I was also at her first concert. We get back to hers jeez I forgot how big her house is I'm gonna be staying here for 4 days then I have to go back. I sit on the sofa stroking shark I remember when he was a little baby. Billie comes and sits down with me putting something on. Oh great American tv shows. We go into conversation saying what we've been doing since we last saw each other then the subject changes to Leah. I tell her all that happened and then start crying she pulls me into cry ok her shoulder. I'm not a cryer but I've been crying alot lately and been letting my emotions stop. Billie just hold me and when I stop crying we decided to order food for the night since it was already getting late.