Big Bang Theory (Missy Cooper X Male Reader X Paige Swanson )

The Hamburger Postulate

The five friends were sitting in the cheesecake factory. Sheldon and Leonard were on one side and the other Raj, Howard, and Y/N were sitting in the middle between Sheldon and Raj.

Sheldon: Alright, I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of Orcs from Lord of the Rings, we flank the Tennessee Volunteers, and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg.

Howard: Not so fast, remember the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla.

Leonard: No, no, no, no, Orcs are magic, Superman is vulnerable to magic, not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk.

Raj: Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?

Penny: Hi, you guys ready to order?

Y/N: I will have the

Howard interrupted.

Howard: Hang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu Gods against the entire Union army?

Leonard: And Orcs!

Penny: I'll be back.

Penny leaves

Raj: Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles, and Shiva is the destroyer. When the smoke clears, Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.

Penny returned.

Penny: Alright, my boss says you either have to order, or leave and never come back.

Howard: What do you recommend for someone who worked up a man-sized appetite from a morning of weight training and cardio-funk?

Penny: A shower.

Howard: I'll take the heart smart platter.

Penny: Alright, thank you, and Sheldon.

Penny: Well, it's all good.

Sheldon: Statistically unlikely.

Leonard: Just get a hamburger, you like hamburgers?

Sheldon: I like the hamburgers where we usually have hamburgers, you can't make the assumption that I'll like the hamburgers here.

Leonard: I'm sorry. Give him a hamburger.

Penny: Uh, which one, the Classic Burger, the Ranch House Burger, the Barbecue Burger or the Kobe burger?

Sheldon: Can't we just go to Big Boy? They only have one burger. The Big Boy.

Penny: The Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy.

Sheldon: Excuse me, in a world that already includes the Big Boy, why would I settle for something like a Big Boy?

Y/N: Then make your own way to Big Boy.

Sheldon: Fine, I'll have the Barbecue Burger.

Leonard: Make it two.

Penny: And Y/N?

Y/N: The Barbecue Burger as well.

Leslie (enters with the female violinist): Hey Y/N, hi guys.

Y/N: What are you doing here?

Leslie: Looking for you. The physics department string quartet needs a new violinist and a new cellist.

Y/N: What happened to Elliot Wong? And the other one?

Leslie: The other one is in Timbuktu and Elliot Wong switched over to high energy radiation research, had a little mishap, and now the other guys are uncomfortable sitting next to him. So, are you in?