The Life I Want To Live With You

It's over - Chapter 36

Lisa shifts in bed, moving closer to Michael. He instinctively pulls her towards him. She opens her eyes in the darkness of the room, checks the time, and sees it's the middle of the night. Slowly, she stands up, trying not to wake him, and wraps herself in a robe. Feeling a pulsing headache, she takes some aspirin with water and heads to the living room, making as little noise as possible.

She spots the envelope with the documents and sighs, glancing nervously at the bedroom doorway, hoping Michael won't wake up. Taking the envelope, she goes to her desk and grabs a pen. As she goes through each page, the weight of her decision bears down on her. If she doesn't sign, Luke will ruin Michael. If she does, she'll never see Michael again. But she convinces herself that it's for the greater good. Everything she ever did was to keep him safe, just as he always tried to protect her. Despite the pain of their separation, she still loved him deeply.

With a shaking hand and overwhelming anxiety, she signs the last page, then the first. She stands up, unable to look at the papers any longer, and walks away, knowing that all her actions were out of love for him.

"He won't forgive me this," she whispers, tears streaming down her face. She leaves her glass in the kitchen and heads to the bathroom, locking herself inside. In the privacy of the bathroom, she has a full hysteria episode in the shower. As the tears drop with the water from the shower head and back into the tray she just thinks about every decision she made and how it all effected her in the next portions of her life. How can she look at him after what she did?

Her thoughts are interrupted by Michael's knocking.

"One minute!" she calls out, her voice hoarse. The knocking stops, and she finishes her shower, wrapping herself in a soft towel before quietly leaving the bathroom. "Did I wake you?" she asks, her eyes red from crying.

"Were you crying?" he asks, ignoring her question.

She looks away, trying to play it off. "No, shampoo got into my eyes," she lies. Michael doesn't say anything; instead, he walks up to her and kisses her on the lips, wrapping his arms around her. She puts her hands on his neck, pulling him closer.

Michael's kiss deepens, his hands roaming over the soft towel wrapped around Lisa. She responds with equal fervor, her fingers threading through his hair. The intensity between them grows, the unspoken fear of this being their last moment together driving them to hold on tighter.

With a swift motion, Michael lifts her by her legs, her towel slipping slightly as she wraps them around his waist. They don't break the kiss as he carries her back to the bedroom, his heart pounding with a mixture of desire and desperation.

He lays her gently on the bed, the towel falling away, leaving her exposed. He pulls back just enough to look into her eyes, searching for any hesitation. Seeing none, he removes his boxers, joining her under the sheets. Their bodies press together, skin on skin, their breath mingling as they move in sync.

Their lovemaking is slow and intense, every touch and kiss laden with emotion. They move together, a silent understanding passing between them. The room is filled with soft gasps and whispered names, each moment a desperate attempt to hold on to what they fear might be slipping away.

As dawn begins to break, casting a soft glow through the window, they find themselves tangled in each other's arms, their bodies spent but their hearts full. Michael gently brushes a strand of hair from Lisa's face, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

"We can't let this be the end," he whispers, his voice filled with emotion.

Lisa looks up at him, her eyes shimmering with tears. "I don't want it to be," she replies softly.

They hold each other as the first light of day fills the room, both silently vowing to fight for what they have, refusing to let this night be their last.

-----

They wake up to the phone ringing in the other room, causing Lisa to jump out of bed and grab her robe, feeling the urgent need to answer before Michael does.

"Hello?" she asks, still half-asleep, realizing she barely got any rest.

"Lisa, it's Mark. You need to come to the church, and I don't want to hear any excuses. We have two reports on you!" he practically screams into her ear, prompting her to move the phone away.

"What? But how, who..." Before she can finish her question, Mark insists she needs to be at the church within an hour and abruptly hangs up.

Left hanging and bewildered, Lisa wonders what she could have possibly done to warrant a report. None of the Scientologists at the ball seemed concerned about alcohol consumption, unless Priscilla decided to report her for speaking ill of David.

"No, that can't be it," she mutters, though doubts linger about her mother's potential involvement.

Feeling Michael's comforting touch on her stomach, Lisa's anxiety begins to ease slightly. Despite her efforts, she can't shake the feeling that she brings chaos into her life no matter what she does.

As she walks to the bathroom, Michael sighs, understanding that their intimacy last night was just a temporary escape from their underlying issues. "From where do you know David?" he asks as he dresses up. Lisa knows she must confront Michael's question.

Lisa just keeps on brushing her teeth, trying to pull out the answer as long as she can to come up with another lie to avoid complications. But she realizes Michael has seen through her facade from the very beginning.

"I know you were lying to me, Lisa. My patience has its limits," he says, his disappointment hearable.

Feeling cornered, Lisa blurts out a lie, hoping to protect herself from further scrutiny. "What do you mean? He's a family friend," she says, surprised at how smoothly the lie slips from her lips, even though she knows it's the same lie her mother fed her. But seeing the disappointment in Michael's eyes, she backtracks. "That's a lie, I know him because my mother recommended me to go to his church," she says, curling her lips, avoiding his angry gaze.

"So now what? You're going to pay him money so he can feed you those lies about life?" he asks, getting upset.

She rolls her eyes. "Don't brag about moral beliefs because you and your Jehovah Witness past doesn't help you in that case," she says bitterly.

Michael gets frustrated. "Okay, so what now?"

Lisa walks into the wardrobe, unable to face him. "I won' talk to you about that, Michael. I don't want or can to have this conversation with you right now. I prefer to avoid this topic."

He scuffs. "So avoiding is what you like to do now?"

She throws her hands up. "I guess you can teach me that, since the first thing you love to do is exactly that - avoiding the issue and then disappearing."

Michael gets angry. "Here we go again with this. How many times do I have to explain..."

"You know what, you don't. Now leave my apartment," Lisa says, grabbing his stuff and pushing him behind the door.

Michael leaves, frustrated and hurt by their inability to communicate, he feels lost with why she can't simply be honest with him. She always was. Why she isn't now?

Alone in her apartment, Lisa feels overwhelmed by guilt and self-loathing. She knows she's hurting Michael, but it's all part of her plan to push him away before the divorce information comes out. It's an act of avoidance, just like Michael's behavior. All she can think about is how David words are true, they're so similar, both willing to ruin themselves and ignore the signs. She sinks deeper into despair, feeling lost in the muddy waters of her own making. The idea that she can't run away from things, she wishes that the night she had with Michael did not end and they could just be with each other forever. But somehow it starts to feel like happiness, doesn't last forever. 

More she thinks about her issues more often she catches herself on reading more about the church she joined, and how much truth is to it.