ON THE FIELD

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR; LETTER HOME

Nnóò nù (greetings),
I can only imagine how long you all have awaited my writing.
I am sorry.

You were right about the army mum and dad- this place doesn't suit my complexion at all, I wish I took pictures more often, to show you all how black I've turned.

Why complain though? It's the life I chose and I love it here...no regrets.

I should have called, I should have written home...I should have reached out- but maybe am still a coward outside the field, maybe am still weak without guns.

I was just trying to be strong-tough.
I needed to defend myself from me and everyone else.
I thought I could carry every load like dad,
I only aspired to be as relentless as mum,
I wished to be as intelligent as my brother,
I dreamt of being as pure as a dove...more like my sister.

But now,
I am a soldier; a killer,
You are free to call me names...but don't fail to admit that I also save.
I have no regrets; still I don't sleep at night.
The trouble became plenty, with only a  few solutions.
The Injustice kept spreading like the wild fires,
But the stream became too dry to quench it; those to provide the necessary solutions are rather not existing than few.

I am a soldier; a killer, unapologetically dangerous.
I am also a volunteer...don't fail to admit that.
I have changed from that Willow everyone knew before boot camp.

Dad, I shoot guns now...I've killed a great  number of people, but I believe I've saved more.

Mum, I still hold the values you taught me; they're engraved in my palms- I display them more often than I display ruggedity.

I know what I do is nothing like the white collared job you'd have preferred.
The path I chose is clearly nothing close to what I imagined it to be.

Tell my brother I've still got home at heart- let him know am still his sister. My apologies for all his jackets and body sprays I stole. I still like glitters and flower bouquets.

To my beautiful sister, I truly wished I displayed the characters of an ideal elder sister.
I wish I wrote and called her more often than I did,
I wish I devoted more time for the girl talks and princess tea parties.
I wish to have been the actual definition of the woman she'll look up to... of course, after mum.

A lot of years have passed, a lot of things have changed...but my heart's still the same.

I wouldn't know the  reactions to get after you all have read this; will my letter be tossed into the flames? Or...maybe, a mockery might be made of it... I just wrote to let you all know  that I am still here...always have been and always will be.

I hope my letter is hugged and cherished. I hope am forgiven.

                                                              LOVE,
                                                    WILLOW AMADI.

CHAPTER END
Its always good to reconnect with home...at the same time- it's hard.
We spend so much time being scared of judgments, forgetting people are and will always only be people.
Acceptance is so intoxicating... it's something everyone craves with or without knowing.
Meanwhile, acceptance from home is like an acceptance into heaven.

Keep doing what you love, so long as it is right... but at the same time- judgment is only placed by God- so let the people talk.

Thanks for reading this chapter,
I don't know how to feel... happy or sad, ON THE FIELD will come to an end in the next chapter... am sorry for putting you all in suspense through delay in publishing.
This story long die... but am excited y'all sailed this ship with me.

Don't forget to follow, vote and comment on my book, thanks guys❤️