Never care too much

Chapter 27: Saving Myself

Chapter 27| Saving Myself

Tucker? Out of all the people Tucker understands? Next joke please. But of course Layton thinks Tucker understands so he calls him up and drags him to the hospital and that's how I got stuck in a hospital room with Tucker.
"I really don't understand what Layton has going threw his head."
"When does anybody ever?" Tucker said.
I chuckled.
"So you had to leave early." I said trying to get rid of the awkward tension.
He nodded.
"I'm a busy man."
"What did you have to do?"
"Things." He shrugged.
I sighed.
"You know for someone who is in a hospital your extremely happy. How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Push all your feelings to the side. Because I can't do that. I feel everything and no matter how hard I try to push them away they always come crawling back."
"I don't push my feelings aside." I protested.
"Yes you do, the one and only person you thought you could trust out of the whole world just died and you haven't shed one tear for him."
"I have. I do care about people just not a lot because it hurts Tucker. It always hurts in the end. I'm just saving myself from getting. Hurt."
"So you just forget about it. Cause every time you look at your arm your gonna remember him, every time some one asks you about where you grew up, who your parents are, what high school you went too your going to remember him. Jade. Everywhere you go there is gonna be these little reminders, these little triggers that just set you off. You may be able to push them aside for now but soon they will come crawling back they always do. Cause once something bad happens too you they stay with you no matter how hard you try they always follow you."
I was silent.
"One day your gonna wake up and realize you have to stop pretending everything is okay Jade. Everything is far from okay."
"This is hopeless, just tell Layton you don't understand. I'm gonna take a nap." I said laying my head on the pillows.
Hospital pillows aren't very nice to be honest.
Tucker only nodded and left the room. I heard some arguing outside in the hall but couldn't make out what they where saying. Then Layton came in. I quickly shut my eyes.
"Jade, I know your up." He said.
I opened them.
"Tucker doesn't understand anything. He is a spoiled rotten rich kid."
Layton chuckled.
"What does that make me?"
I laughed.
"No, but really why would he understand?"
"Did you forget he was adopted? If you knew his story then it would make sense." He said leaning back in the chair.
"Well tell me the story then."
"It's not for me to tell."
I groaned, and scooted over making room on the bed for him.
"Whatever I'm going to sleep."
He chuckled.
******
"So you never told me if you got the record deal?" I asked as I ate my Chinese takeout Layton snuck in for me.
"I got it." He smiled.
"That's great so you need to start writing some songs." I said.
"Ya I'm excited."
"Just remember I was the best girlfriend you ever had."
He chuckled.
"When can you leave?" Layton whined.
"Tomorrow." I smiled at him.
"What about the business party? How did that go?"
"Boring."
"I bet, one time Luke and I messed with the chocolate fountain so it went crazy and chocolate went everywhere. It was so funny."
"I can see Luke doing that." Layton laughed.
"Ya his a different one."
"I haven't seen much of him lately."
"That's because you have been here 24/7."
He laughed.
The door opened and we quickly hid our takeout. I wasn't suppose to be eating Chinese, Layton wasn't even suppose to be here. The door stopped halfway so who ever was coming in finished talking on the phone.
"Under the bed." I said to Layton pushing on his shoulder.
He did and I quickly grabbed a magazine and flipped to a random page.
"Jade?"
"Hm." I said setting the magazine in it's original spot.
I looked to see Tom.
"Is Katie with you?" I asked.
"No," he said taking a seat.
I folded my arms waiting for him to continue.
"Okay so here is the thing. Your mother and I- don't call her that, she stopped being my mother the day she laid hands on Wyatt." I said threw gritted teeth.
He nodded.
"Katie and I where talking and we think it is best if you start seeing a counselor or therapist."
"I don't need no therapist I don't need Katie in my life either, she has no right to making decisions about my life."
"She is your legal parent."
"No you are my only legal parent. Did everyone forget she almost killed a child? I mean how can you love a women who tried to kill someone."
"Those where her dark days, I help her out. She really is a wonderful mother."
"I don't care what she is, she did something I'll never forgive her for."
He sighed.
"Okay, okay, I'll make sure I'm the only one that has custody over you. But your still going to see a therapist starting next Tuesday."
I nodded and watched him leave. Relief fell over me. Layton climbed out from under the bed holding the Chinese.
"Therapist?"
"Ya, ya." I said taking the Chinese.
"When's prom again?" I said hoping to change the subject
"This Friday. Then senior ball."
"So who's taking me to prom then?"
He smirked.
"Someone."
"Who!?" I whined.
"Guess." He challenged.
"Ryker?"
"Nope."
"Collin?"
"No."
"Layton." I whined.
"Not him either."
I threw some noddles at him.
"Tell me."
"Nope."
I groaned throwing some more noodles at him.
******
"Hello, Ms Parker I'm Mrs. Robinson." I slowly shook her hand before taking a seat in a chair across from her desk.
"So I've done a little digging and learn a lot about your past. Some tough things you have had to go through alone." She said nodding and looking at her papers.
"Would you like to explain to me how you feel about your mothers and fathers relationship when you where younger?"
I was quiet. I'm not gonna spill my thoughts to this lady I barley know her.
She leaned forward looking at me threw the brim of her glasses.
"I understand your a little nervous, but I'm a therapist that's what I'm here for. To hear your problems."
"My problems. Well I have plenty of those."
She nodded.
"Wyatt, my brother. We where super close growing up together and all. It was normal. You had your normal day at school come home and moms making something in the kitchen dad comes home from work we have dinner together as a family. It was good for 9-10 years. Then my mom got sick of it all, she missed the partying and drinking. It turned into normal day at school come home no mom, dad comes home orders take put cause he has no time to make something then mom comes home drunk at 1. It just keep getting worse and worse, until one day Wyatt and I came home. For once she was home but drunk. Drunker than I had ever seen her. And she was mad when she saw us furious. She slapped me across the face and something in Wyatt's eyes sparked he blew up on her. Told me to go hide. I hide in the closet upstairs and listened to the screams and muffled cries of my brother as he took the beating. When my dad got home nobody said a thing. Nobody told him for about 5 months until she have him a black eye and my dad didn't believe he got into a fight at school. So I told him. Wyatt didn't want me too but I did I was tired of seeing him get hurt. The beatings lightened up but my dad couldn't control what happened when he wasn't home."
I felt tears roll down my cheek quickly wiping them away.
"Do you still care for your mother?"
"Katie is a worthless piece of junk, she deserved to be put in jail or death sentenced. She hurt my only friend my brother. My so called mother almost beat my brother too death."
"Almost, did you forget that part she stopped her self she must care about you if she stopped."
"Tom told you I need to forgive her did he? Told you that's one of the goals."
"A goal to recovering."
"Recovering from what? From being myself. It's not my fault I have to live with this." I said standing up.
"Calm down Jade, it isn't your fault."
"And you say almost? You say she had to of cared? If she cared why did she beat us? She only stopped because my dad got home earlier, because she didn't want to go to jail for murder. My so called mother is a monster. I will never forgive her. What she has done is unforgivable."
"And that's why we are here."
"No. No that's not why we are here. I'm here because my step dad thinks I need help."
"You need to feel love, have a sense of belonging."
"No. I'm fine how I am." I said and opened the door heading back out into the waiting room where Tom was on the phone when he saw me he hung up and walked over to me.
"Your suppose to go for an hour."
"An hour with that lady no way." I said heading outside to his car.
"Jade, I can't help if your not willing to let me help you."
"I don't need help."
"Jade, I know you don't want it but you need to explain what happened you can't just push everything to the side."
"Watch me." I said getting out.
I walked up the stairs and inside without giving him a second glance.
My arm was killing me so I went into the kitchen and found some Advil. Arms wrapped around my waist and Layton laid his head on my shoulder.
"Hey babe, how was the therapist?"
"Horrible." I said turning around.
"How come?"
"No one understands." I said shaking my head. "People just need to leave me be."
He chuckled and grabbed my hand.
"Where are we going." I whined
I really just wanted to sleep.
"Well you just got released from the hospital and you had to go straight to a therapist. Probably a little stressful so I'm taking you out."
"Where tho?" I asked.
He smirked.
"Why do I even try with you." I mumbled.
"You love me."
I laughed.
"That can be debatable."
He stopped and put his hand over his heart.
"That Jayden was extremely pain full."
"You'll live." I said dragging him to his car.
"Well glad you care about me."
I laughed and turned up the radio. 'Shut up and Dance with me' came on.
"I love this song." Layton said turning it up.
I sang louder which also meant I didn't hit every note. Layton on the other had never missed a note. I'm so glad he got the record deal.
'Shut up and dance with me, this women is my destiny. Said oh oh oh shut up and dance with me.'
I laughed and look over at Layton who had a smile plastered on his face.
We pulled up to the beach. I looked at him confused. Nobody is really at the beach at 9:00 in the evening. Unless there was a bomb fire.
"What are we do-
"Shut up." He said getting out and coming to the passenger side door opening it for me and taking me by the hand.
I didn't say another word. He lead us down through the sand to a cute little boat. It was small but wasn't huge either. I have no clue what kind of boat it was but it was cute. He helped me climb on and then he pulled out a basket from no where and climbed in. We went out a ways, far enough to be out of the docks. But close enough to still see the shore line. The sun had almost sunk down over the ridge. Layton pulled out a few candles and then some sandwiches. I happily took one and bite down. They had to be professional sandwiches I've never tasted a fancier sand which. As if Layton read my mind he said.
"I got them from some fancy sandwich shop down the street."
"Well they are delicious."
He smiled at me and pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. Pouring us each some in our cups we toasted and drank. The sun completely sunk and the stars started to come out. We ended up laying on the boat floor drinking wine instead of finishing the other food he brought.
We didn't even say anything we didn't need too. I laid my head on his chest resting my cast on my stomach. My other hand holding my glass.
"How did I get so lucky." Layton said barley above a whisper.
I almost thought he didn't mean to say it out loud. I'm glad he did. We just stayed like that staring up at the stars. It was exactly what I needed some peace and quiet. Away from the real world. Maybe someone really does understand.