The Jerusalem Duality

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In the University cafeteria, Y/N, Leonard and Sheldon were eating.

Sheldon: Here's the problem with teleportation.

Leonard: Lay it on me.

He said knowing Sheldon was going to say it anyway.

Sheldon: Assuming the device could be invented which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location, and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, you would not have actually transported the individual. You would have destroyed him in one location, and recreated him in another.

Leonard: How about that.

Sheldon: Personally, I would never use a transporter. Because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.

Y/N: Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?

Sheldon: No, he would be exactly the same.

Y/N: There is the problem.

Sheldon: So, you see it too.

Dr Gablehouser (arriving): Dr L/N, Dr Hofstadter, Dr Cooper.

Together: Dr Gablehouser.

Gablehouser: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Dennis Kim. Dennis is a highly sought after Doctorial candidate and we're hoping to have him do his graduate work here.

Leonard: Graduate work, very impressive.

Gablehouser: And he's only fifteen years old.

Sheldon: Not bad, I myself started graduate school at fourteen.

Dennis: Well, I lost a year while my family was tunnelling out of North Korea.

Y/N: Advantage Kim.

Gablehouser: I thought maybe you boys could show Dennis around, let him see why we're the best physics research facility in the country.

Dennis: I already know you're not.

Dennis: I already know you're not. You don't have an open science grid computer, or a free electron laser, and the string theory research being done here is nothing but a dead end. Dr L/N is one of the only good scientists worth noting. I've read your work it was impressive.

Sheldon: Excuse me, String Theory is my research, and it is by no means a dead end. And how is Dr L/N one of the only scientists worth noting.

Dennis: Well it's obvious, he has had more success in his field and his research has contributed heavily to the advancement of Science, hence why he's received tenure which means he's work is clearly valued to a great extent by Caltech. And it's obvious that you don't see String Theory is a dead end yet, but trust me, you will.

Gablehouser: Dennis, we discussed this, we're in the process of updating our equipment, and we welcome your input on our research goals, and we've agreed to look the other way if you want to use up to 20% of the grant money you attract to smuggle your grandfather out of Pyongyang. We want him here boys, make it happen.

Y/N, Leonard: Yes sir.

Sheldon: You can count on us, we're on it. What the hell do you mean, dead end.

Dennis: I mean, the whole landscape of false vacuums in string theory could be as large as ten to the five-hundredth power. In addition... ooh, look, chocolate milk.

Sheldon: I sense a disturbance in the force.

Leonard (in a Yoda voice): A bad feeling I have about this, mmm-hmmm.

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