Missing Piece

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Melanie

I shut the door with a little extra force than necessary, the loud banging sound ricocheting throughout my bedroom. My heartbeat sky rockets, making me fear that I could go into cardiac arrest any minute if I don't get it under control.

Thousands of horrible comments rush to my mind. The words that I tried to forget coming back in flashback. And then it becomes so hard to stop those voices. I find it difficult to block all that out.

The one thing that stands on top of that list is the word FREAK.

Yeah, that's what I am.

A freak.

And now Benji knows that too.

All the air from my lungs gets sucked out. And I feel like I'm choking.

How could I be so careless?

Frantically I rush to my bed and rummage through the drawers of nightstand for the box of my colored contacts. Once I find it, I sprint into the bathroom.

Standing in front of vanity mirror, I stare at my reflection.

Two different colored- blue and hazel irises gaze back at me.

Heterochromia iridium.

A condition in which the color of iris in one eye is different from that of the other eye.

A deformity.

I was 18 when I first started using colored contacts.

I was fed up with the looks I'd get every time somebody would look at me.

The stares.

The name calling.

I was the freak with strange eyes.

And it only got worse when I started high school.

High school was the period I'd rather not recall. Some kids in my school were just downright cruel.

I was a weird kid with strange eyes. Yeah, that's like the main target for bullies. They gave me hell because of my eyes. They took every opportunity they could get to mock me for having such an abnormality. Back then, I wasn't the same person that I am today. I took everything to my heart let myself break. Believed their words. Questioned my self-worth.

Took me a lot of sessions with a therapist to finally make amends with my eyes. It wasn't an easy journey. But one day some random person said something about my eyes, and I was back at square one. All the work went down the drain. It only takes one single moment to slip and then you're falling deep into the abyss of insecurities. And once those insecurities grab you into their talons, it's almost impossible to break free.

Sometimes you just don't realize how much power a few harsh words could hold over you. These are the kind of words that stick with you throughout your whole life and haunt you.

A lone tear escapes, and I wipe that immediately.

Don't think about that time.

Think of happy thoughts. The blessings in your life. The positive things.

The first thought that comes to my mind is of my sisters. They are the light in my life. My mom and Roger. I'm incredibly lucky to have such amazing and supportive parents.

My breathing slowly goes back to normal. I don't feel like someone has their hands wrapped tightly around my throat.

I think about my friends... I'm blessed to have found these amazing people who understand me, love me, support me no matter what.