Discreet Bonds || BDSM

20. I Love You

LILIAN

He did not come to the university from last two days. All his classes were postponed and some other faculty was taking his time period. It made my heart believe what Felix said was true. Any hope that he would be returning was fleeting away. And still, I attended the university everyday that maybe, maybe he will return and give me an explanation about all this. That he will apologize and tell me it is all false and how much he cares of me.

I knew how stupid I sounded. That is why when the whole class suddenly went quiet, I didn't pay any special attention to it.

"Good morning class. Sorry for the sudden and unexpected leave. Should we start where we left at?"

My heart leaped out of my chest when I heard his voice. I looked up, eyes wide with disbelief that he was actually here in front of me. Somewhere in my heart, I was overjoyed knowing he had come back but I refused to forget the betrayal he gave me. My heart hurt knowing that he loved someone else and I was just a toy to pass his time while he was away from that person.

How could I ever let someone use me like this? It made me furious how I had no control over my emotions when it came to him. I tried my best to shield myself from his dominat aura and ever so charming smile, but I failed. Because somewhere I knew, I had started falling for him. It hurt more because I thought he also felt something for me. But all of this was a just a dream, one which I hoped would never come to an end but somehow it did.

My eyes were damp with tears now but I refused to break down in front of everyone. I refused to shed tears for someone who gave me so less importance. So I tried making myself invisible, not that he ever paid attention to me in the class. He was teaching as usual and it angered me how he could just go on with his life as if nothing had changed.

"An announcement for everyone before dismissing this class. The assignment I gave you all was due yesterday. You had untill yesterday midnight to submit your assignments and a good number of y'all have submitted it. There is a total number of five students who haven't submitted their assignments, namely Chiara Mancini, Emily Harris, Arthur White, Conan Bell and....Lilian Arora. I just wanted to inform y'all that you are getting a zero and do not even dare to come to me for a second chance. Class dismissed."

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How did I forget this?! Oh my God! What is wrong with you Lilian?! Do I have dementia or what?! It has eighty marks and he just said that I got a zero. Fuck me to hell!! I need to see him. I need to talk to him. No matter how much I hate him right now, I need those fucking marks for my grade! Where is he? Did he already leave the class? For heaven's sake! I'll have to go to his office now.

I immediately got up and went after him, hoping that I'd find him in the corridor but luck was never on my side I guessed. I didn't even know where his office is and this fucking university is large enough that I'll have to check atleast ten rooms before I find it.

I literally knocked on all the offices on this floor but he was nowhere to be found. Now either he is on the next floor or he just disappeared in thin air. I was about to start knocking on the next floor's rooms' also when I saw two girls from my class coming from the west office with a pitiful face.

There, I think I found it. One of them was literally crying. I wondered what in the actual fuck did he said to her that she was crying like this. I went towards his office and stood in front of that closed door. My feet wouldn't dare to go forward and yet I gathered my courage and knocked on his door.

"If you all are here to beg me for marks, respectfully fuck off!"

Fuck this shit! My courage I had gathered went straight into the drain after hearing his grave voice. But I really, really need to talk to him if I want a passing grade in his subject. My stupid feet wouldn't move no matter what I did. I took a deep breath and willed myself to go inside. Why should I be afraid when he's the one who has betrayed me? He owes me those marks as a compensation for the days I spent worried due to which I couldn't submit the assignment.