12. Safeword

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LILIAN

Any other time I would have absolutely loved getting fucked by him. Right now also my mind is loving the idea of getting fucked by him but my body is not. My pussy is red from all the fucking and my clit is numb because of the orgasms I have had. It hurts to even move slightly and looking at the bulge in his pants, I am hundred percent sure that he's huge. He'll stretch me apart and fuck me raw which I am not sure is something I could handle.

I know I will give up in the middle and scream my safeword which I hate to do! Safe words are weak, they are for the weaks. I don't want to use my safeword ever because I am not weak. Maybe, maybe begging him more will change his decision and he'll have mercy on me. Because I can beg him forever but I will not use my safeword.

"Please, please sir, I am sorry, no more please!!"

"Tsk tsk, you are going back on your promise sugar. You said you would never beg me to not fuck you."

"I was wrong please, it hurts, it hurts so bad!"

"Too bad I am not hearing your safe word yet."

Fuck him and his safeword! It hurts like a motherfucking bitch to even think about anything touching my pussy. My eyes were full of tears which were threatening to fall if he didn't listen to me now. I hated feeling helpless and that's what I was right now. The sound of his zipper being undone made my pussy twitch in fear.

He picked me up in his arms as I started sobbing in his shirt. He pulled me even closer to his chest and I sobbed harder. I really thought that he had felt pity for me when he started cutting the ropes. But the next I know, I was placed on the bed and my legs were getting spread.

"Please! Please! Please!"

"I do not hear the word red—

"Please I can't—

"—which means I am not—

"Red! Red!!"

I sobbed harder feeling ashamed from the fact that I had finally used my safeword like a coward. Baba was right, I am a coward who just knows how to run when the situation gets difficult. I am nothing more than a coward who doesn't deserve a dominant like Master Vincent.
(Baba= Father)

"Good girl."

I thought for a second that my ears have gone bad but when I looked up in his eyes, I saw that pride in his eyes for me. He had praised me, he had praised me for being a coward but why?! Who likes a submissive who's using her safeword all the time so why is he calling me a good girl.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You are the bravest, most courageous and gorgeous girl I've ever met. I am proud of you for using your safeword sugar."

And that was the final straw which broke my dam. I started sobbing earnestly as he took me in his arms. I clinged to his chest and cried like a baby while he was soothing me. I always knew I had family traumas which haunted me throughout my life but that's what happens when you are the eldest daughter in an Indian family. I was never enough, nothing I did was enough for them and that is why I ran away, like a coward I ran away.

"Shhh stop crying sugar."

"I am a coward! I am not a good girl!"

"No you are not. You were a very good girl for me baby."

"No! No, I am not! I am a weak submiss—

"Enough! If I hear you insult yourself again, you'll be going over my knee right this second!"

"But-but...

"No buts. Do you even know how proud it makes me feel that you used your safe word?"

"I never wanted to use my safe word!"

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